EPISODE NUMBER: 8106 (June 5, 2012)
GUESTS: Jill Biden
SEGMENTS: Intro | CDC Zombie Apocalypse Statement | Tip/Wag – Japanese Diet Goggles, U.S. Sperm Exports & Taxidermied Toys | Self-Marriage Problems | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | Grayish-white shirt | Navy & maroon dotted tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, June 5, 2012
I often wonder when Stephen has high profile guests on, such as Jill Biden, what they are thinking as they are watch the show from backstage. Dr. Biden was treated to a Tip/Wag featuring Japanese dieting glasses, a discussion about American sperm exports, and taxidermied cat toys. And then, a really stellar performance on the whole people marrying-themselves phenomenon- something I like to talk/thinking about waaayyy better than the recent cannibalism phenomenon. There is a great deal of the recent news cycle I would like to black out.
Lots of great graphics on this evening’s show with the new “Formula 401” man-seed products line, and a fat Stephen in a block and tackle.
It was touching when Dr. Biden thanked Stephen so personally for doing his shows in Iraq in 2009. I don’t think any of us will ever forget those shows, and the thoughtfulness and sincerity poured into them. And they were funny, too.
What did you think of the ep? Sound off in the comments.
Intro
Tonight, America has a brand new export. Good news, unless the export is your job.
Then, a new assault on traditional marriage. then we just need an old assault, and a blue assault.
and I guess, second lady of the United States Dr. Jill Biden is here to talk about her new children’s book. It’s about a boy named Joe who loves choo-choos.
Celine Dion says she is sick from the theme to Titanic. So now it’s unanimous.
CDC Zombie Apocalypse Statement
Thank you for that ovation. From the sound of that, it sounds like you could do it over and over again.
I’m Tivoing [the Walker recall] so no one tell me how Unions end.
Cannibalism is the hot new trend. And you thought saggy pants were annoying.
“Apocolypses de los Zombies! It’s worse than we thought, folks. They’re undead and after our jobs.”
Yes, it does make one wonder. After all, something has clearly eaten Trace Gallagher’s brain.
Back then, they said it was just a tongue in cheek campaign. But whose tongue in whose cheek?
Brains!
Tip/Wag
Nation, you know me, I am not one to judge. I am number one to judge. This is tip of the hat, wag of the finger!
Tip: Japanese Dieting glasses
I am a weight watcher. Not the club, I just watch people who are overweight. So far, I haven’t lost a pound, but I have been tasered twice.
Yes, glasses to make your food appear larger, or just put them on backwards, to make your ass appear smaller.
Incredible, instead of eating 12 cookies, they ate just 11. Swimsuit season, here I come!
Who knows, with the help of these diet glasses, instead of one day being removed from my house by a fork lift, I can be removed from my house by a block and tackle.
We can eat round foods, like hamburgers, donuts, and pizza. To reward ourselves, cake. But only 11.
Tip: America top sperm exporter.
“America is the gold standard of sperm. (Audience cheers) Yes, give it a hand, if you will. “
We can keep our reserve in Fort Knockingboots.
Once again, we’ve been saved by the invisible hand of the market, which has clearly been very busy.
Luckily, this is one job we don’t need Mexicans to do for us, unless that’s your thing.
So if you’re 6’2″ with a Masters degree in Art History, congratulations, you’re finally employable.
Formula 4-eu-1: me-brie
It took me 90 minutes, and I never used my hands.
New 401 flavors for international clientele: Coming soon to an imaginary international sperm bank near you!
Tip: Orville the Cat-corpse Helicopter
I know it’s unusual, but Jansen was just going through the five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, taxidermy, and helicopter.
This innovation in bereavement technology will make it so much easier to help your kids adjust to this kind of loss. Now you can just say, “I’ve got some bad news about Patches…but I’ve got some great news about that dirt bike you wanted!”
Self-Marriage Problems
“This comes as a blow to North Dakotans: Your state finally gets a woman, and she decides to marry herself.”
I’m sorry, I always get so emotional at how I spend at other people’s weddings.
I have always warned that letting the gays marry is a slippery slope to even freakier stuff.
First you have the balls to marry yourself, then you make it a destination wedding!
Your friends will be like, “you’ve been with yourself for 48 years, and you’re still not engaged? What is he/you waiting for?” And then you’ll have to go home, sit yourself down, and ask, “Where is this going? You’ve met my entire family. They think of you as their own son.” And you’ll be like “can we please not talk about this right now, I am trying to watch Game of Thrones! We’re together 24/7, you’re smothering me, I can’t even take a crap alone.”
Interview
“Beau told me how much it meant that you came over and entertained our troops.”
Two-fer: You might also like… both of these books for a patriotic box set.
June 5, 2012 — Jill Biden
EPISODE NUMBER: 8106 (June 5, 2012)
GUESTS: Jill Biden
SEGMENTS: Intro | CDC Zombie Apocalypse Statement | Tip/Wag – Japanese Diet Goggles, U.S. Sperm Exports & Taxidermied Toys | Self-Marriage Problems | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | Grayish-white shirt | Navy & maroon dotted tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, June 5, 2012
I often wonder when Stephen has high profile guests on, such as Jill Biden, what they are thinking as they are watch the show from backstage. Dr. Biden was treated to a Tip/Wag featuring Japanese dieting glasses, a discussion about American sperm exports, and taxidermied cat toys. And then, a really stellar performance on the whole people marrying-themselves phenomenon- something I like to talk/thinking about waaayyy better than the recent cannibalism phenomenon. There is a great deal of the recent news cycle I would like to black out.
Lots of great graphics on this evening’s show with the new “Formula 401” man-seed products line, and a fat Stephen in a block and tackle.
It was touching when Dr. Biden thanked Stephen so personally for doing his shows in Iraq in 2009. I don’t think any of us will ever forget those shows, and the thoughtfulness and sincerity poured into them. And they were funny, too.
What did you think of the ep? Sound off in the comments.
Intro
Tonight, America has a brand new export. Good news, unless the export is your job.
Then, a new assault on traditional marriage. then we just need an old assault, and a blue assault.
and I guess, second lady of the United States Dr. Jill Biden is here to talk about her new children’s book. It’s about a boy named Joe who loves choo-choos.
Celine Dion says she is sick from the theme to Titanic. So now it’s unanimous.
CDC Zombie Apocalypse Statement
Thank you for that ovation. From the sound of that, it sounds like you could do it over and over again.
I’m Tivoing [the Walker recall] so no one tell me how Unions end.
Cannibalism is the hot new trend. And you thought saggy pants were annoying.
“Apocolypses de los Zombies! It’s worse than we thought, folks. They’re undead and after our jobs.”
Yes, it does make one wonder. After all, something has clearly eaten Trace Gallagher’s brain.
Back then, they said it was just a tongue in cheek campaign. But whose tongue in whose cheek?
Brains!
Tip/Wag
Nation, you know me, I am not one to judge. I am number one to judge. This is tip of the hat, wag of the finger!
Tip: Japanese Dieting glasses
I am a weight watcher. Not the club, I just watch people who are overweight. So far, I haven’t lost a pound, but I have been tasered twice.
Yes, glasses to make your food appear larger, or just put them on backwards, to make your ass appear smaller.
Incredible, instead of eating 12 cookies, they ate just 11. Swimsuit season, here I come!
Who knows, with the help of these diet glasses, instead of one day being removed from my house by a fork lift, I can be removed from my house by a block and tackle.
We can eat round foods, like hamburgers, donuts, and pizza. To reward ourselves, cake. But only 11.
Tip: America top sperm exporter.
“America is the gold standard of sperm. (Audience cheers) Yes, give it a hand, if you will. “
We can keep our reserve in Fort Knockingboots.
Once again, we’ve been saved by the invisible hand of the market, which has clearly been very busy.
Luckily, this is one job we don’t need Mexicans to do for us, unless that’s your thing.
So if you’re 6’2″ with a Masters degree in Art History, congratulations, you’re finally employable.
Formula 4-eu-1: me-brie
It took me 90 minutes, and I never used my hands.
New 401 flavors for international clientele: Coming soon to an imaginary international sperm bank near you!
Tip: Orville the Cat-corpse Helicopter
I know it’s unusual, but Jansen was just going through the five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, taxidermy, and helicopter.
This innovation in bereavement technology will make it so much easier to help your kids adjust to this kind of loss. Now you can just say, “I’ve got some bad news about Patches…but I’ve got some great news about that dirt bike you wanted!”
Self-Marriage Problems
“This comes as a blow to North Dakotans: Your state finally gets a woman, and she decides to marry herself.”
I’m sorry, I always get so emotional at how I spend at other people’s weddings.
I have always warned that letting the gays marry is a slippery slope to even freakier stuff.
First you have the balls to marry yourself, then you make it a destination wedding!
Your friends will be like, “you’ve been with yourself for 48 years, and you’re still not engaged? What is he/you waiting for?” And then you’ll have to go home, sit yourself down, and ask, “Where is this going? You’ve met my entire family. They think of you as their own son.” And you’ll be like “can we please not talk about this right now, I am trying to watch Game of Thrones! We’re together 24/7, you’re smothering me, I can’t even take a crap alone.”
Interview
“Beau told me how much it meant that you came over and entertained our troops.”
Two-fer: You might also like… both of these books for a patriotic box set.