There have been many mysteries to ponder throughout time. The ancient pyramids. Stonehenge. Crop Circles. Unidentified Flying Objects.
And Stephen’s Colbert’s band aids.
It all started out on the calm, spring evening of April 29, 2013. It was a night like any other. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and life carried on without a care. Until 11:30pmEST. This is when it all changed!
Spotted! Three, visibly placed band aids on Stephen’s fingers. Two on his left hand and one on his right! What could it mean? Initially, yes, it was questionable. One band aid, fine! A paper cut. But three? But still, people cut themselves. Life happens. Okay, move on … nothing more to see here …
… except this happened to be the premier night of the Montclair Film Festival. So, the band aids got to make an encore appearance!
Twenty-four hours passes and life trucks on. It’s 11:30pmEST and it’s time for Stephen to shed his light on his followers. We are ready for his inspiration, his knowledge, his band aids …
Again? Band aids … still present! And in prominent display for the world to see! What could it all mean? This was becoming concerning and it was questionable if life would ever be the same again.
And then it happened …
May 1, 2013 … the disappearance of the band aids!
Within forty eight hours of its initial appearance, the band aids were gone! As the audience wipes sweat off their foreheads, a feeling of relief permeates throughout the Colbert Nation. Our leader is cured! He can now transfer his wisdom onto us again without a care. He IS band aid free!
May 21, 2013
Sound the alarms! Inform the Department of Health!
The band aids have returned! Our hero! He has been inflicted once again. Can we help? Should we start a pledge drive? How long will this last?
Okay, apparently not that long.
May, 22, 2013
Our hero appears to be safe. He has recovered. Once again, the Colbert Nation breathes a collective sigh of relief.
Spring passes and life remains status quo … but it’s during those times of complacency when we are most vulnerable …
July 17, 2013…
Summer is in full blast and our dear leader continues to sprinkle his truthiness onto his followers. He is strong. He is fearless. He … has on band aids!
Oh no!! What…how! But they have been gone for so long! What could have happened? Will he recover? Maybe, this time, he won’t. I … am … afraid!
July 18th, 2013
Okay, they’re gone!
No more than twenty four hours passes and the band aids are no longer a part of Stephen. This is truly a wonderful day. But a hint of concern is still present. The return of band aids has been continuous and more curiously, in the same exact places. Two on the left hand and one on the right. Further investigation was required. And the following was discovered …
On July 24, 2013, days after the removal of the band aids, ominous markings appeared on Stephen’s fingers. Could this be the clue to what ails him? Could this be what the band aids have been protecting? It doesn’t look too serious, but again, life has proven that complacency leads to false security …
… which appears to be a reality again!
July 31, 2013
Okay! This is serious now! The period of band aid-less time has become smaller and smaller during each of its return. Did he cut himself? Did he hurt himself while banging the keys on his adding machine? So many questions, yet so few answers. As the tears begin to form in the eyes of his loyal followers … this happens …
August 1, 2013
They are gone! No band aids! No apparent markings! He is fine! Our dear leader of the Colbert Nation is fine!
It has been nearly a month since the most recent appearance of the band aids. We could only hope that they never rear its ugly head (or latex) again. Our dear Stephen deserves to be band aid free! And as of this reporting, the infliction seems to be gone! But as history shows, we can never be too complacent, for the “Mystery of the Late Night Unkown-Stephen Colbert’s Band Aids”, remains UNSOLVED!
Mysteries of the Late Night Unknown – Stephen Colbert's Band Aids
There have been many mysteries to ponder throughout time. The ancient pyramids. Stonehenge. Crop Circles. Unidentified Flying Objects.
And Stephen’s Colbert’s band aids.
It all started out on the calm, spring evening of April 29, 2013. It was a night like any other. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and life carried on without a care. Until 11:30pmEST. This is when it all changed!
Spotted! Three, visibly placed band aids on Stephen’s fingers. Two on his left hand and one on his right! What could it mean? Initially, yes, it was questionable. One band aid, fine! A paper cut. But three? But still, people cut themselves. Life happens. Okay, move on … nothing more to see here …
… except this happened to be the premier night of the Montclair Film Festival. So, the band aids got to make an encore appearance!
Twenty-four hours passes and life trucks on. It’s 11:30pmEST and it’s time for Stephen to shed his light on his followers. We are ready for his inspiration, his knowledge, his band aids …
Again? Band aids … still present! And in prominent display for the world to see! What could it all mean? This was becoming concerning and it was questionable if life would ever be the same again.
And then it happened …
May 1, 2013 … the disappearance of the band aids!
Within forty eight hours of its initial appearance, the band aids were gone! As the audience wipes sweat off their foreheads, a feeling of relief permeates throughout the Colbert Nation. Our leader is cured! He can now transfer his wisdom onto us again without a care. He IS band aid free!
May 21, 2013
Sound the alarms! Inform the Department of Health!
The band aids have returned! Our hero! He has been inflicted once again. Can we help? Should we start a pledge drive? How long will this last?
Okay, apparently not that long.
May, 22, 2013
Our hero appears to be safe. He has recovered. Once again, the Colbert Nation breathes a collective sigh of relief.
Spring passes and life remains status quo … but it’s during those times of complacency when we are most vulnerable …
July 17, 2013…
Summer is in full blast and our dear leader continues to sprinkle his truthiness onto his followers. He is strong. He is fearless. He … has on band aids!
Oh no!! What…how! But they have been gone for so long! What could have happened? Will he recover? Maybe, this time, he won’t. I … am … afraid!
July 18th, 2013
Okay, they’re gone!
No more than twenty four hours passes and the band aids are no longer a part of Stephen. This is truly a wonderful day. But a hint of concern is still present. The return of band aids has been continuous and more curiously, in the same exact places. Two on the left hand and one on the right. Further investigation was required. And the following was discovered …
On July 24, 2013, days after the removal of the band aids, ominous markings appeared on Stephen’s fingers. Could this be the clue to what ails him? Could this be what the band aids have been protecting? It doesn’t look too serious, but again, life has proven that complacency leads to false security …
… which appears to be a reality again!
July 31, 2013
Okay! This is serious now! The period of band aid-less time has become smaller and smaller during each of its return. Did he cut himself? Did he hurt himself while banging the keys on his adding machine? So many questions, yet so few answers. As the tears begin to form in the eyes of his loyal followers … this happens …
August 1, 2013
They are gone! No band aids! No apparent markings! He is fine! Our dear leader of the Colbert Nation is fine!
It has been nearly a month since the most recent appearance of the band aids. We could only hope that they never rear its ugly head (or latex) again. Our dear Stephen deserves to be band aid free! And as of this reporting, the infliction seems to be gone! But as history shows, we can never be too complacent, for the “Mystery of the Late Night Unkown-Stephen Colbert’s Band Aids”, remains UNSOLVED!