EPISODE NUMBER: 9089 (April 22, 2013)
GUESTS: Michael Pollan
SEGMENTS: Boston Bombers | Toronto Terror Plot | Tiny Triumphs – Infrastructure & River Pollution | George W. Bush Presidential Library | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Grey Suit | White Shirt | Navy Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, April 23, 2013
“So be on the lookout for caucasian males with dark hair and anger issues. I believe we have a computer composite. Terrifying. That is the face of evil. “
When was the last time we saw “Tiny Triumphs”? Totally hilarious and appropriate for the topic choices. Let us know what you thought of the ep in the comments.
Boston Bombers
- [on his and reporters’ inability to report Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s name] I’m going to go with “white hat guy.” These brothers killed a young policeman, carjacked an SUV, ending with a high speed chase and a fire fight, in which Tamerlan was mortally wounded, ending his life as all Islamic terrorists dream, at Beth Israel Hospital.
- [on the Boston shelter-in-place order]…marking the first time an American city has even been shut down, if you don’t count Detroit.
“That’s Susan Candiotti, reporting live from No Sh*tsylvania.”
- Where should the U.S. strike back. Let’s review what we know? They are Muslims. They are brothers. Which makes them the Muslim Brotherhood. That means Egypt. Then again they are from Chechnya, a federal republic of the Russian Federation located in the Caucasus Mountains, which makes these terrorists Caucasians.
“Now so many people have confused Chechnya with the Czech Republic (that the Czech ambassador to the U.S. had to issue a statement clarifying the difference.) Hmmm. Methinks he doth protest too much. Because it doth sound too much like that other thing I doth thought it was.”
- I’m watching you, Czech Republic. You too, Chex mix.
- These brothers also spent time in Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan, places synonymous with political unrest, and high word scores in Scrabble.
So if we put the pieces of the puzzle together: Russia, Chechnya, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, the Czech Republic, it is clear we must invade Iraq. I’m just sayin’, it worked the first time…and the second time.
“Yes, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, or “Mounties,” have thwarted an Al Queda terrorist attack, which is quite a feat considering how hard it is for them to go under cover. “
- You Canadians are a brave and heroic people. If I have said it once…this is the one time I have said it. I want my maple-blooded brothers to know, that we would put in on the line to protect you, if there was anyone who disliked you. So thank you, Canada. This is the greatest gift you have given our country, since your years of service providing a plausible place for our nonexistent girlfriends to be from.
Tiny Triumphs – Infrastructure & River Pollution
- There has been wall-to-wall coverage of these terrorist attacks, because the media loves reporting bad news. And I’d back that up with details, but our fact checker was hit by a bus carrying medicine to an orphanage for puppies in wheelchairs.
” We should hang this report card high where everyone can see it. But not a bridge. It may not be able to handle the load. “
“Hey, if you can’t stand the heat, then get out of the water! Which for some reason is on fire. “
George W. Bush Presidential Library
“Nation, I am so pumped! Because this [museum] is going to be packed with Bush-nography. “
- Yes, the museum features interactive role playing, where the president hands over the reigns of power to someone else. Just like he did when he was president. (shows Dick Cheney)
- Let’s see if you can sift through mountains of intelligence that Sadam didn’t have weapons of mass destruction to find the one memo that implies he might.
- You can buy your tickets online now. Of course, some of the tickets will be for the Bush presidential library, and some of them will be for the Gore presidential library. But the ticket counters will read them all as Bush.
Interview – Michael Pollan
“Michael, you have a food book problem.”
Michael Pollan: I realized that the central link in the food chain, where we transform the stuff coming off of farms to meals, is the key link. It explains the Health Problem, in that the most important thing about your diet is not a nutrient, but an activity: cooking. So the question about your diet is not “what are you eating?” but “who’s cooking it?”
Stephen: (retorts) Consuela. Are you saying that she is not a good cook? What are you saying?
Michael Pollan: If you can afford Consuela, that’s fantastic. As long as a human being is cooking for you, and not a corporation, you’re fine.
Whole wheat pasta sucks!
April 22, 2013 — Michael Pollan
EPISODE NUMBER: 9089 (April 22, 2013)
GUESTS: Michael Pollan
SEGMENTS: Boston Bombers | Toronto Terror Plot | Tiny Triumphs – Infrastructure & River Pollution | George W. Bush Presidential Library | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Grey Suit | White Shirt | Navy Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, April 23, 2013
“So be on the lookout for caucasian males with dark hair and anger issues. I believe we have a computer composite. Terrifying. That is the face of evil. “
When was the last time we saw “Tiny Triumphs”? Totally hilarious and appropriate for the topic choices. Let us know what you thought of the ep in the comments.
Boston Bombers
“That’s Susan Candiotti, reporting live from No Sh*tsylvania.”
“Now so many people have confused Chechnya with the Czech Republic (that the Czech ambassador to the U.S. had to issue a statement clarifying the difference.) Hmmm. Methinks he doth protest too much. Because it doth sound too much like that other thing I doth thought it was.”
“Yes, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, or “Mounties,” have thwarted an Al Queda terrorist attack, which is quite a feat considering how hard it is for them to go under cover. “
Tiny Triumphs – Infrastructure & River Pollution
” We should hang this report card high where everyone can see it. But not a bridge. It may not be able to handle the load. “
“Hey, if you can’t stand the heat, then get out of the water! Which for some reason is on fire. “
George W. Bush Presidential Library
“Nation, I am so pumped! Because this [museum] is going to be packed with Bush-nography. “
Interview – Michael Pollan
“Michael, you have a food book problem.”
Michael Pollan: I realized that the central link in the food chain, where we transform the stuff coming off of farms to meals, is the key link. It explains the Health Problem, in that the most important thing about your diet is not a nutrient, but an activity: cooking. So the question about your diet is not “what are you eating?” but “who’s cooking it?”
Stephen: (retorts) Consuela. Are you saying that she is not a good cook? What are you saying?
Michael Pollan: If you can afford Consuela, that’s fantastic. As long as a human being is cooking for you, and not a corporation, you’re fine.
Whole wheat pasta sucks!