EPISODE NUMBER: 9138 (August 12, 2013)
GUESTS: Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse
SEGMENTS: Jack-Hammering Badonkadonk Journalism | Better Know a District – New Jersey’s 12th | Better Know a District – New Jersey’s 12th – Rush Holt | Innocent Tourist Mistake | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | Pale blue shirt | Baby blue patterned tie
VIDEOS: Monday, August 12, 2013
I love that this episode had such a diverse array of topics in it, from Flo Rida’s divinely inspired tribute to the derriere, to brainy physicist/congressman Rush Holt’s “courageous” attempt to crush fellow contender Corey Booker in New Jersey senate primary, to Stephen comparing himself to Michaelangelo’s David. That doesn’t even include the interview! Guest Senator Sheldon Whitehouse turned out to be really great, and his idea of using the wisdom of the ages to help the paralysis in Washington, as evidenced in quotes by famous leaders and couplets of poetry, is an innovative one.
I also liked Stephen introducing the BKAD segment with the nuclear hazmat-y outfit – he looked like a mad scientist, which was pretty cool. It was a dark angle to profile that element of the district’s history, but along with the Matt Damon segment last week, Stephen seems to be going a little darker with the humor lately. Maybe that’s where he’s at the moment, I dunno. In any event, the darker humor suits him, and is very effectively funny.
It is doubtful that Rush Holt has a chance against Corey Booker in the primary, but it was nice of the Report to give him some airtime against the well-funded, well known Booker. Holt is clearly an intelligent scientist, but he struggled with Stephen’s efforts to “better know” him. He also seemed unfamiliar with the concept of thumb wrestling. Well, in spite of these challenges, we certainly wish him luck.
What did you guys think? Let us know in the comments.
“Far and away, Mr. Rida is the best state named rapper out there. Even better than i da ho, Illin’ Noise, and orthodox jew hip-hop artist Ari Zona. Challah!”
- Well, on Friday Today had my favorite rapper Flo Rida. The last black man willing to be associated with the state of Florida.
- Now, that might seem like a large serving of butt for breakfast, but Today waited until 8:47 AM. That’s just journalism 101. 6 AM hard news, 7 AM human interest pieces, 8:30 – jackhammering be-donk-a-donk.
- Plus, did you know that [Flo Rida’s] sickness for the thickness was inspired by the Lord?
- Flo Rida puts God first in everything. I mean he only wrote “Bubble Yum Bum” because Jesus was a booty fan. I mean, after all he did say turn the other cheek, probably so he could see the ladies twerk it.
- So thank you, Flo Rida, and thank you, Today Show, because I had my morning toast already and you knew I was ready for that jelly.
Stephen mentions in this BKAD intro that NJ’s 12th district was home to the “Father of the Nuclear Bomb” J. Robert Oppenheimer, leading to this delightfully dark bit.
Stephen develops a nuclear hobby-bomb: “Now I have become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.”
“Oh hai there, I was just putting some finishing touches on my atomic bomb.”
“I told my neighbor to stop trimming my side of the hedges or he would regret it.”
Physicist, congressman, Jeopardy! winner, and NJ primary senatorial candidate Rush Holt is sooo totally a Libra.
- If Corey Booker was elected, he would be the first black senator from New Jersey. Tell the people of New Jersey now why you think it’s a bad idea to elect the first black senator from New Jersey.
Stephen goes toe to, uh, toe with Michaelangelo’s David.
- Hey Italy, if your restorers need a model for that finger I’ve got one right here! Who cares if a 600 year old statue’s finger snapped off? Just replace it with one of Italy’s famed unlimited breadsticks. Or have we forgotten “hospitaliano.”
- Besides, everyone is calling this a priceless artwork. If it’s free, just get another one.
- Yes, normally, you don’t touch the works, but look at the statue. The guy’s been waiting for a high five since the 1400s! You can’t leave a bro hangin’!
- Yes, that is whole reason museums exist: so you can compare yourself to the art. That’s why the first time I saw Michaelangelo’s David I dropped trow, crawled up there, and did a little side-by-side comparison. (audience goes wild) And I don’t want to shock anyone, but let’s just say, he met the real Goliath.
The following is Senator Sheldon Whitehouse’s favorite couplet featured in his book, On Virtues: Quotations and Insight to Live a Full, Honorable, and Truly American Life:
“Life is mostly froth and bubble; two things stand like stone. Kindness in another’s trouble,
Courage in one’s own.”
August 12, 2013 — Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse | Colbert News Hub
EPISODE NUMBER: 9138 (August 12, 2013)
GUESTS: Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse
SEGMENTS: Jack-Hammering Badonkadonk Journalism | Better Know a District – New Jersey’s 12th | Better Know a District – New Jersey’s 12th – Rush Holt | Innocent Tourist Mistake | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | Pale blue shirt | Baby blue patterned tie
VIDEOS: Monday, August 12, 2013
I love that this episode had such a diverse array of topics in it, from Flo Rida’s divinely inspired tribute to the derriere, to brainy physicist/congressman Rush Holt’s “courageous” attempt to crush fellow contender Corey Booker in New Jersey senate primary, to Stephen comparing himself to Michaelangelo’s David. That doesn’t even include the interview! Guest Senator Sheldon Whitehouse turned out to be really great, and his idea of using the wisdom of the ages to help the paralysis in Washington, as evidenced in quotes by famous leaders and couplets of poetry, is an innovative one.
I also liked Stephen introducing the BKAD segment with the nuclear hazmat-y outfit – he looked like a mad scientist, which was pretty cool. It was a dark angle to profile that element of the district’s history, but along with the Matt Damon segment last week, Stephen seems to be going a little darker with the humor lately. Maybe that’s where he’s at the moment, I dunno. In any event, the darker humor suits him, and is very effectively funny.
It is doubtful that Rush Holt has a chance against Corey Booker in the primary, but it was nice of the Report to give him some airtime against the well-funded, well known Booker. Holt is clearly an intelligent scientist, but he struggled with Stephen’s efforts to “better know” him. He also seemed unfamiliar with the concept of thumb wrestling. Well, in spite of these challenges, we certainly wish him luck.
What did you guys think? Let us know in the comments.
“Far and away, Mr. Rida is the best state named rapper out there. Even better than i da ho, Illin’ Noise, and orthodox jew hip-hop artist Ari Zona. Challah!”
Stephen mentions in this BKAD intro that NJ’s 12th district was home to the “Father of the Nuclear Bomb” J. Robert Oppenheimer, leading to this delightfully dark bit.
Stephen develops a nuclear hobby-bomb: “Now I have become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.”
“Oh hai there, I was just putting some finishing touches on my atomic bomb.”
“I told my neighbor to stop trimming my side of the hedges or he would regret it.”
Physicist, congressman, Jeopardy! winner, and NJ primary senatorial candidate Rush Holt is sooo totally a Libra.
Stephen goes toe to, uh, toe with Michaelangelo’s David.
The following is Senator Sheldon Whitehouse’s favorite couplet featured in his book, On Virtues: Quotations and Insight to Live a Full, Honorable, and Truly American Life: