EPISODE NUMBER: 17146 (August 31, 2012)
GUESTS: No Guest
EXCLUSIVE: Welcome to Tampa
SEGMENTS: RNC 2012 – The Road to Jeb Bush 2016 – A Fistful of Awesome | Republican Time Travel | The Best F#@king News Team Ever Audits America | The Best F#@king News Team & Republican Outreach
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Khaki tie
VIDEOS: Friday, August 31, 2012
Jon got super-jazzed about Clint Eastwood’s meltdown speech at the RNC. Clint is truly so awesome it hard to see him taking all this flack, but he brought it on himself, as soon as he started speaking to inanimate objects. I still love The Bridges of Madison County, however.
I think the most striking moment was when Jon yelled out at Romney “B**l f**king s**t!” He doesn’t normally take the gloves off like that, but the example he showed of Romney criticizing Obama a mere “Hannukah’s”-length of time after the beginning of his term illustrates a great deal of the hypocrisy and hubris at play in this convention. I don’t think it’s about bashing Repubs or Dems- misrepresentation by either party should be confronted by the media, and Jon’s arguments last night illustrated his point.
Also, I just heart Jessica Williams so much. The Republicans who kicked Jessica and Sam Bee out were just being obnoxious. There was nobody at that hair and make up thing anyways!
What did you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments.
RNC 2012 – The Road to Jeb Bush 2016 – A Fistful of Awesome
- Do you know how hard it is to get money in Tampa that doesn’t have body glitter on it?
“Yes! Amidst the tired rhetoric, the empty platitudes, and overwrought attacks, a Fistful of Awesome emerged in the night, where it spent 12 minutes on the most important night of Mitt Romney’s life yelling at a chair. “
“This is the most joy I have gotten from an old man since Dick Cheney non-fatally shot one in the face.”
- I am here to lend my support to Mitt Romney in his crucial hour, you will not silence me, Invisible Barack Obama.
Republican Time Travel
- Yes, yes, yes, we Americans unique among Earth’s people, move forward in time.
- [Eastwood’s speech] hurt these Republicans bad, because this convention, like all conventions, is a scripted and focus-grouped fantasy, and the display of Eastwood’s Gran Turino Id was the thing the Republicans had constructed an entire week to suppress.
- This convention was the vision of a perfect America, that used to exist, until Barack Obama ruined it-and so what if that America had actually never existed.
“Yeah, that was the uncomplicated America you remember. I think in the early ’60s there were some churches in Alabama that would have disagreed with your sports team vs. place of worship anecdote.”
- Wow, in four years, one man, Barack Obama has broken the greatest nation that God has ever given this Earth.
“The message of this convention is that apparently until November of 2008, American lived in an Utopian ideal born of our own gumption and individual hard work. But sadly, not 4 years later, it’s a blighted socialist hellscape where jack-booted thugs lock you up for thinking about Christmas.”
- And here is the most incredible part of the entire fiction. While convincing us that Barack Obama’s destroyed this country’s future, the Republicans have also invented a past where they were trying to help him succeed.
“B**l f**king s**t!”
- Well, [Hannity] did give the President 100 days, before cueing the music from The Omen.
- (Mocking O’Reilly) “I mean, c’mon, the guy’s had 42 days to fix the biggest financial catastrophe in our lifetimes, I mean he’s had his chance.”
“I mean it’s been 8 days, we’ve been waiting an entire Hannukah for Obama to succeed. I can’t believe he hasn’t fixed in 8 days what our guy did in 8 years.”
The Best F#@king News Team Ever Audits America
“Mississippi! Dead last in per capita income. You are costing the federal government 20 billion dollars. You know what? I think we are going to have to let the market decide.”
“Oh…Maine is terrible.”
Jason and John fire some states…but have a heart for Mississippi.
The Best F#@king News Team & Republican Outreach
“Are you Republican?” “It’s just a gig, man.”
Jessica and an African-American delegate search for other black delegates. It’s pretty tough.
Jessica Williams: P-Con, how’s it hangin’
“P-Con”: Completely.
JW: Alright, so you are the face of Generation Opportunity.
P-Con: I am the President of it.
JW: So how old are you exactly?
PC: I am 48 years old.
JW: 48?
PC: But I had a band when I was in high school.
JW: What year was that, 1975?
PC: No, I got you beat, it was 1984.
JW: Hoooly s**t, I was not alive.
Jessica and Sam get dissed by the Republicans but go a few doors down to a place inclusive to women: Hooters.
August 31, 2012 — Guestless
EPISODE NUMBER: 17146 (August 31, 2012)
GUESTS: No Guest
EXCLUSIVE: Welcome to Tampa
SEGMENTS: RNC 2012 – The Road to Jeb Bush 2016 – A Fistful of Awesome | Republican Time Travel | The Best F#@king News Team Ever Audits America | The Best F#@king News Team & Republican Outreach
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Khaki tie
VIDEOS: Friday, August 31, 2012
Jon got super-jazzed about Clint Eastwood’s
meltdownspeech at the RNC. Clint is truly so awesome it hard to see him taking all this flack, but he brought it on himself, as soon as he started speaking to inanimate objects. I still love The Bridges of Madison County, however.I think the most striking moment was when Jon yelled out at Romney “B**l f**king s**t!” He doesn’t normally take the gloves off like that, but the example he showed of Romney criticizing Obama a mere “Hannukah’s”-length of time after the beginning of his term illustrates a great deal of the hypocrisy and hubris at play in this convention. I don’t think it’s about bashing Repubs or Dems- misrepresentation by either party should be confronted by the media, and Jon’s arguments last night illustrated his point.
Also, I just heart Jessica Williams so much. The Republicans who kicked Jessica and Sam Bee out were just being obnoxious. There was nobody at that hair and make up thing anyways!
What did you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments.
RNC 2012 – The Road to Jeb Bush 2016 – A Fistful of Awesome
“Yes! Amidst the tired rhetoric, the empty platitudes, and overwrought attacks, a Fistful of Awesome emerged in the night, where it spent 12 minutes on the most important night of Mitt Romney’s life yelling at a chair. “
“This is the most joy I have gotten from an old man since Dick Cheney non-fatally shot one in the face.”
Republican Time Travel
“Yeah, that was the uncomplicated America you remember. I think in the early ’60s there were some churches in Alabama that would have disagreed with your sports team vs. place of worship anecdote.”
“The message of this convention is that apparently until November of 2008, American lived in an Utopian ideal born of our own gumption and individual hard work. But sadly, not 4 years later, it’s a blighted socialist hellscape where jack-booted thugs lock you up for thinking about Christmas.”
“B**l f**king s**t!”
“I mean it’s been 8 days, we’ve been waiting an entire Hannukah for Obama to succeed. I can’t believe he hasn’t fixed in 8 days what our guy did in 8 years.”
The Best F#@king News Team Ever Audits America
“Mississippi! Dead last in per capita income. You are costing the federal government 20 billion dollars. You know what? I think we are going to have to let the market decide.”
“Oh…Maine is terrible.”
Jason and John fire some states…but have a heart for Mississippi.
The Best F#@king News Team & Republican Outreach
“Are you Republican?” “It’s just a gig, man.”
Jessica and an African-American delegate search for other black delegates. It’s pretty tough.
Jessica Williams: P-Con, how’s it hangin’
“P-Con”: Completely.
JW: Alright, so you are the face of Generation Opportunity.
P-Con: I am the President of it.
JW: So how old are you exactly?
PC: I am 48 years old.
JW: 48?
PC: But I had a band when I was in high school.
JW: What year was that, 1975?
PC: No, I got you beat, it was 1984.
JW: Hoooly s**t, I was not alive.
Jessica and Sam get dissed by the Republicans but go a few doors down to a place inclusive to women: Hooters.