This was my sixth time going to see the show and by far the most emotional and the most eagerly anticipated. I was so anxious about it that I actually have two reporTs to…um…reporT.
My BONUS Special Taping report: December 16, 2014.
When we got to the studio, they announced that they weren’t going to be able to use the studio due to some sort of emergency that they didn’t get into. They bussed us over to another place, a classroom at a college. They had to cancel the musical guest due to the change and they did a round table panel discussion instead and were going to have a bunch of pundit-types for guests. They only let ticket holders in; no guests of ticket holders and no standby.
Stephen was sick and when he came out he didn’t take any questions. He was all business and didn’t appear to be like his usual happy self.
The classroom had two large partitions that separated the audience from Stephen. Most of the only twenty or so people who did get in, couldn’t see a thing. Right as the show was about to start taping he was walking through the audience and he noticed I had two phones in my lap that were on and he pointed to me, looked at his security guards and shouted “electronics”. Then the security guy came over and I handed them to him, with an embarrassed look on my face and. I was so mortified.
After the show I had to go get my phones in a very far off place and it was an interminably long wait.
Then I woke up and it was 5:30am, the morning of December 16. I hadn’t even left for New York yet. I realized the entire day was still ahead of me. I want to stress to you all just how relieved I was when I woke up and realized it was all a dream. It seemed pretty real.
I think I had that dream because I just couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that it would be the last time going. Thankfully the real experience was pretty much exactly as it should’ve been.
Now for the real taping report:
The Antepenultimate Colbert Report, December 16th, 2014.
I invited a fellow fan, who flew in from Florida and we met up in line around 3pm and we did the usual long wait. It does seem like such a long wait, but it is all worth it when you are finally inside that studio.
Paul Mecurio was the warmup comic and he, along with Mark and Stuart, the audience guy, told us not to ask any questions about the upcoming Late Show. Everyone obeyed.
Mark did his thing and announced that he has been the stage manager from the beginning and how it has been an honor. That’s a real achievement.
We did our practice cheers and heard the jokes and then it was the moment!! Stephen bounds out with his usual energy, high fiving and throwing the mic up and catching it. We obeyed the audience guys and didn’t sit down right away so he didn’t say the line about “you sat down awfully fast”. Yay us!
Questions: (as best as I can remember them)
- What’s the Strangers With Candy Christmas special about? (that’s how he asked it)
Stephen: There is one? You mean what would it be about? Well, I guess Geoffrey and Chuck would spend Christmas together because they are lovers, but they would be miserable to each other.
- Now that Jon has made Rosewater, do you want to make a movie?
(This is so embarrassing because that’s a question I wanted to ask him and for the life of me I can’t remember what he said)
- Other than yourself, who is the funniest person you know?
My kids are pretty funny. My daughter told me this joke.
He went on say that she asked him, what does the dog say? And he said, woof woof. Then she said, what does the cow say and he said, moo. Then she said no the cow says woof woof and when he asked about why, she said, the cow has a dog in it’s mouth. He then said he was going to “steal that one”.
Then he told about when his son said, “That’s the Mitch McConnell I’ve never heard of” and he said he used that one on the show and under his breath he said, “Thanks Peter”.
- What’s the secret to raising funny kids?
Tell them a lot of jokes. He then went on to talk about how in his family it was a humorocracy and whoever the funniest person in the room was, got to be the king. He talked about how his family would tell jokes in the limo at funerals and just about everywhere.
- What’s your favorite cartoon?
He said he loved Ren and Stimpy. The guy said that he had worked with the Ren and Stimpy guy and when Stephen asked if he was an animator, the guy said, yeah can I give you my card, which he held up ready to go. Mmm hmm.
Stephen said, ‘you can give it to this nice gentleman there’ and the security guy went to get it. Stephen said, ‘he will deposit it in the appropriate receptacle’.
I don’t remember if he went on to talk about anything else for that guy and I can’t remember if there were any other questions, but if I do remember I will put them in. I really wanted to have my phone on secretly taping it because I can never remember everything, but after the dream I had, no way! My two phones were off and stowed under my seat.
I so wanted to take pictures and thought about asking the guard if it was okay considering it was the end but they kept saying no pictures so I didn’t. It’s almost become habit. I mean I really kept almost reaching for my camera, inside the studio, about ten times before the taping started and had to stop myself.
Then the usual stuff, hair and makeup, flinging WristStrongs and the knife. Mark was counting down to the open and Stephen stopped him and asked something about a chair. They talked at the desk and then he apologized and joked that he just learned about how the show works. He made a few jokes about how he’s finally ready to start the show (as in for the first time ever).
Then he talked a little bit more to the audience about how we are a part of the show and he said to have a great show, as usual, but he said more. I can’t remember it because I was really just taking it all in and enjoying being there but I loved what he said.
They filmed a table of contents that got cut. When I heard the opening of the show on December 17, the joke that he told about Methane on Mars sounded so familiar and when I saw the hand shoot up for the high five, I then remembered that they had done that joke in the 16th’s TOC that got cut. We got to see the guy who was under the desk, come out from hiding and I believe it was the prop master for the show.
He made it through the first segment without a hitch. Then after the Colbert Platinum segment they had him re-tape two parts. I defy you to figure out where the edits are. I’ve re-watched it several times to see the edits. If I hadn’t known where the edits were I would never have believed there were any edits at all. He only re-taped the one or two words that he flubbed, not the whole sentences.
After the writers came to the desk during the break, and they discussed the re-taping, he said he was going to re-tape one word and then one of his staff, I think it was Tom Purcell, said it was two. He was making jokes like, “I’ve had enough of you, you’re out of here, you’re fired” and then joked, “what are they going to do cancel me?”
He was in good spirits, and engaging the audience more than in my previous tapings, which is always awesome!
At one point, he waved at a woman in the audience, sitting in the row in front of mine, and she waved back and then later during the song setup, he went over to her and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I have no idea who it was but I was sure wondering.
Then the interview with Lamar was good and they went into setting up for the musical number. They had the fog machine going and it was setting an interesting mood. A bunch of people came out to see it, they were standing on the side where the bookshelves are, to watch the song. There were mostly staff, but Stephen’s wife and kids were there too. They were gettin’ into it.
The taping was longer than usual because of the two flubs, setting up for the song and just because the interviews ran long. I know they cut parts out. The opening table of contents was cut and I’m pretty sure they cut parts out of the interview with Jason Bordoff, because as I was watching it, it seemed as if it was going really long and those desk interviews are really short.
So after the taping was done, Stephen took one last question and it was from a guy who was going to take an improv class, looking for advice. He said, listen to everyone else because you are not the most important person in the room. Then he said goodnight and left.
Then the audience guy came out and instructed four people sitting right in front of us to get up and leave first and it was four kids. Strange because they don’t allow anyone under 18. I think Kendrick had some guests with him and there were people outside waiting for autographs after the show.
Then as soon as Stephen was cleared, they told us we could leave. NOOOO!!! That was it. I feel so incredibly lucky to have been able to go even once, nevermind six times. It’s the end, but only of one chapter and now onto the next.
December 16, 2014: The Taping ReporT!
My BONUS Special Taping report: December 16, 2014.
When we got to the studio, they announced that they weren’t going to be able to use the studio due to some sort of emergency that they didn’t get into. They bussed us over to another place, a classroom at a college. They had to cancel the musical guest due to the change and they did a round table panel discussion instead and were going to have a bunch of pundit-types for guests. They only let ticket holders in; no guests of ticket holders and no standby.
Stephen was sick and when he came out he didn’t take any questions. He was all business and didn’t appear to be like his usual happy self.
The classroom had two large partitions that separated the audience from Stephen. Most of the only twenty or so people who did get in, couldn’t see a thing. Right as the show was about to start taping he was walking through the audience and he noticed I had two phones in my lap that were on and he pointed to me, looked at his security guards and shouted “electronics”. Then the security guy came over and I handed them to him, with an embarrassed look on my face and. I was so mortified.
After the show I had to go get my phones in a very far off place and it was an interminably long wait.
Then I woke up and it was 5:30am, the morning of December 16. I hadn’t even left for New York yet. I realized the entire day was still ahead of me. I want to stress to you all just how relieved I was when I woke up and realized it was all a dream. It seemed pretty real.
I think I had that dream because I just couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that it would be the last time going. Thankfully the real experience was pretty much exactly as it should’ve been.
Now for the real taping report:
The Antepenultimate Colbert Report, December 16th, 2014.
I invited a fellow fan, who flew in from Florida and we met up in line around 3pm and we did the usual long wait. It does seem like such a long wait, but it is all worth it when you are finally inside that studio.
Paul Mecurio was the warmup comic and he, along with Mark and Stuart, the audience guy, told us not to ask any questions about the upcoming Late Show. Everyone obeyed.
Mark did his thing and announced that he has been the stage manager from the beginning and how it has been an honor. That’s a real achievement.
We did our practice cheers and heard the jokes and then it was the moment!! Stephen bounds out with his usual energy, high fiving and throwing the mic up and catching it. We obeyed the audience guys and didn’t sit down right away so he didn’t say the line about “you sat down awfully fast”. Yay us!
Questions: (as best as I can remember them)
Stephen: There is one? You mean what would it be about? Well, I guess Geoffrey and Chuck would spend Christmas together because they are lovers, but they would be miserable to each other.
(This is so embarrassing because that’s a question I wanted to ask him and for the life of me I can’t remember what he said)
My kids are pretty funny. My daughter told me this joke.
He went on say that she asked him, what does the dog say? And he said, woof woof. Then she said, what does the cow say and he said, moo. Then she said no the cow says woof woof and when he asked about why, she said, the cow has a dog in it’s mouth. He then said he was going to “steal that one”.
Then he told about when his son said, “That’s the Mitch McConnell I’ve never heard of” and he said he used that one on the show and under his breath he said, “Thanks Peter”.
Tell them a lot of jokes. He then went on to talk about how in his family it was a humorocracy and whoever the funniest person in the room was, got to be the king. He talked about how his family would tell jokes in the limo at funerals and just about everywhere.
He said he loved Ren and Stimpy. The guy said that he had worked with the Ren and Stimpy guy and when Stephen asked if he was an animator, the guy said, yeah can I give you my card, which he held up ready to go. Mmm hmm.
Stephen said, ‘you can give it to this nice gentleman there’ and the security guy went to get it. Stephen said, ‘he will deposit it in the appropriate receptacle’.
I don’t remember if he went on to talk about anything else for that guy and I can’t remember if there were any other questions, but if I do remember I will put them in. I really wanted to have my phone on secretly taping it because I can never remember everything, but after the dream I had, no way! My two phones were off and stowed under my seat.
I so wanted to take pictures and thought about asking the guard if it was okay considering it was the end but they kept saying no pictures so I didn’t. It’s almost become habit. I mean I really kept almost reaching for my camera, inside the studio, about ten times before the taping started and had to stop myself.
Then the usual stuff, hair and makeup, flinging WristStrongs and the knife. Mark was counting down to the open and Stephen stopped him and asked something about a chair. They talked at the desk and then he apologized and joked that he just learned about how the show works. He made a few jokes about how he’s finally ready to start the show (as in for the first time ever).
Then he talked a little bit more to the audience about how we are a part of the show and he said to have a great show, as usual, but he said more. I can’t remember it because I was really just taking it all in and enjoying being there but I loved what he said.
They filmed a table of contents that got cut. When I heard the opening of the show on December 17, the joke that he told about Methane on Mars sounded so familiar and when I saw the hand shoot up for the high five, I then remembered that they had done that joke in the 16th’s TOC that got cut. We got to see the guy who was under the desk, come out from hiding and I believe it was the prop master for the show.
He made it through the first segment without a hitch. Then after the Colbert Platinum segment they had him re-tape two parts. I defy you to figure out where the edits are. I’ve re-watched it several times to see the edits. If I hadn’t known where the edits were I would never have believed there were any edits at all. He only re-taped the one or two words that he flubbed, not the whole sentences.
After the writers came to the desk during the break, and they discussed the re-taping, he said he was going to re-tape one word and then one of his staff, I think it was Tom Purcell, said it was two. He was making jokes like, “I’ve had enough of you, you’re out of here, you’re fired” and then joked, “what are they going to do cancel me?”
He was in good spirits, and engaging the audience more than in my previous tapings, which is always awesome!
At one point, he waved at a woman in the audience, sitting in the row in front of mine, and she waved back and then later during the song setup, he went over to her and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I have no idea who it was but I was sure wondering.
Then the interview with Lamar was good and they went into setting up for the musical number. They had the fog machine going and it was setting an interesting mood. A bunch of people came out to see it, they were standing on the side where the bookshelves are, to watch the song. There were mostly staff, but Stephen’s wife and kids were there too. They were gettin’ into it.
The taping was longer than usual because of the two flubs, setting up for the song and just because the interviews ran long. I know they cut parts out. The opening table of contents was cut and I’m pretty sure they cut parts out of the interview with Jason Bordoff, because as I was watching it, it seemed as if it was going really long and those desk interviews are really short.
So after the taping was done, Stephen took one last question and it was from a guy who was going to take an improv class, looking for advice. He said, listen to everyone else because you are not the most important person in the room. Then he said goodnight and left.
Then the audience guy came out and instructed four people sitting right in front of us to get up and leave first and it was four kids. Strange because they don’t allow anyone under 18. I think Kendrick had some guests with him and there were people outside waiting for autographs after the show.
Then as soon as Stephen was cleared, they told us we could leave. NOOOO!!! That was it. I feel so incredibly lucky to have been able to go even once, nevermind six times. It’s the end, but only of one chapter and now onto the next.