Hubster Kris, who was lucky enough to attend the V.I.P cocktail reception, has sent in this amazingly detailed report of ‘A Conversation with Stephen Colbert’ at the Wellmont Theatre, New Jersey.
Hello Hubsters! I’m sure you’re all aware that Stephen had an out of character chat with Jon Alter to support the Montclair International Film Festival (MIFF) last Friday night from 8:00 – 9:30pm. The event also boasted that, for a price, a person could have cocktails with the man of the evening from 6 – 7pm. Apparently, that was too much for my brain to handle and I decided to go (hey, I have the rest of my life to pay it off, right?). The V.I.P. tickets included free parking a few blocks from the theater and guests were asked to arrive at 5:45pm. I, of course, was unable to find the lot. At 6:05 pm I was cursing the inventor of GPS and changing my shoes in the car, while driving. A note to the kids out there: don’t try this at home.
I arrived at the Wellmont Theatre ten minutes late, limping, having just narrowly escaped getting towed, and parking in a place where I had no guarantee of not being towed. As I determinedly strode toward the building, wearing shoes designed to make a person as uncomfortable as humanly possible, I glanced down and noticed that I was still wearing one knee-high sock from the boots I had been walking around in New York City all day in, which were the cause of my current limping status. A unique look with the strappy, open toe heels I was currently sporting. I quickly rectified the situation, stuffing the solitary sock into the Stephen Colbert- Barnes & Noble canvas book bag I carried. I continued gimping my way into the theater, despairing at the thought of having wasted ten minutes of the cocktail hour.
However, upon entering in the room I glanced around and quickly discovered that Stephen wasn’t there. For a second I had the crazy thought, “Is this some horrible trick?” Then, the happy realization dawned that I hadn’t missed anything. Thank God for the man being fashionably late! Free booze was all around but instead of ordering anything I opted for just grabbing a glass of red wine, of which there were many, from the bar. Servers walked around with mini burgers, single scallops, and other assorted appetizers. I was a bit nervous and passed on them the several times they were offered. I believe I was likely the youngest person there and certainly the only person there alone. Everyone was very well dressed and I was glad I’d opted for a simple black dress and jacket.
Suddenly, I was very grateful for not having arrived early to stand around awkwardly. Plus, after the glass of wine my feet didn’t feel so damaged after all. I stood with my back to the theatre and watched all the doors. The event was held in the back of the theatre where you would enter it, just beneath the balcony. Within a few moments of finishing my drink the side doors on the right opened and in walked Stephen, Evie, their son Peter, and daughter Madeline. They all wore giant smiles and while their clothes were not dressed down they were not overdressed. The ladies both wore simple dresses and the gents wore dress slacks, button up shirts, and jackets. I have to say I felt less intimidated by them the most of the guests! Except, it was Stephen Colbert and kin!
No one appeared to notice his arrival. No one seemed to be reacting at all. The photographers were the only people behaving as though anyone out of the ordinary had arrived and guests continued to talk among themselves as the couple poised for pictures. Stephen and Evie both hugged a few people they knew and it didn’t take the kids long to make themselves scarce, most likely bored by all the grown ups. For Stephen’s part, after the pictures were done he immediately began conversing with the group of people closest to him. Evie didn’t stay glued to Stephen’s side but was an excellent hostess and mingled among the guests separately. I think a lot of the people there were regulars of the theatre and the one’s I talked too were all from Montclair so I suspect that she knew several of them. I did not approach her or the kids and say anything as it didn’t seem appropriate.
I will admit to hovering a bit around Stephen though. Waiting for my turn to talk to the man. There was about twenty to thirty people there, all talking and drinking so I didn’t catch anything he said to anyone else. After he’d spoken to many of the guests nearest the bar (grabbing snacks and drinks all the while) a lady who must have been working for the event actually got his attention and said, “I think there’s someone who’d like to meet you”. Referring to me. I must have been standing in that exact spot longer than I thought, for someone to take notice like that and I had a bit of a “how embarrassing” moment but then Stephen was shaking my hand and smiling.
I introduced myself and told him that I’d come from Minnesota to see him. He asked me if I grew up there and I told him that I’d lived in Aurora, Colorado as a child. He said that he’d learned to ski while living in Aurora with his brother. I told him that I’d tried to learn to ski but had a “Wrist Strong” moment where I broke my arm running into, of all places, the first aid building (I was twelve and caught in a snowmobile track). He laughed and asked me what I did for a living and I joked about having two degrees and being a customer service representative. He said, “I’ve been there!” I smiled and assured him “I’d be a real criminologist one day.” Then, I let him know that the aforementioned Barnes & Noble bag had been in the solitary confinement unit of a maximum security prison. He laughed at that and the fact that the prisoners assumed he was a politician. “Of course, I look…” I smiled and quickly stated that, in their defense, they don’t have cable. I’d wanted to ask him to sign it but chickened out.
I told him that a friend of mine asked me to tell him that he should have an epic geek off with Olivia Munn. He responded that Olivia might even be a bigger geek than he was. I encouraged him, that he’d never know until he tried. He stated that he’d beat her at Lord of the Rings. Of course, my response was to ask who he couldn’t beat at Lord of the Rings trivia besides Tolkien himself. He asked if I’d like a picture taken with him. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and then had a moment of panic, realizing that I had no one to ask to take the picture. However, the photographers at the event took one of us and later a lady took down my name. I assume they’re going to send them or email them or something. Throughout the whole thing my legs were shaking and I did the “Black friend” pose. Pointing at Stephen and wearing a huge grin. I figured I may as well since there was no way to get the stupid grin off my face anyway. Then, he offered to take one on my phone too, to have while I was waiting on the other picture and he took my phone and held it out and snapped a shot of us.
I have to say that if I had to describe Stephen with one word it would be ‘kind’. I wouldn’t doubt if my nervousness was apparent but he smiled warmly, maintained eye contact, and was not at all an intimidating person out of character. I have read that when fans meet him in character he can be imposing. I think his casual attire helped. I’d been picturing him showing up in a tux like James Bond or something all set with his arched eyebrows and stern stare. It was great to see him so relaxed and friendly.
After having chatted for what I thought was a generous amount of time considering all the rest of the people he had to meet, he departed. I made my way back to a less crowded area near a couple I’d talked to earlier in the evening, after grabbing another glass of wine. It was the third glass that went straight to my head but my legs were better behaved after that. While we were talking I’d confessed about chickening out about asking for the autograph. They still hadn’t spoken with Stephen but they weren’t distressed about it. I talked with a couple of other people in the area, including one of the photographers but didn’t go far. The gentlemen did make small talk with Colbert’s son for a few minutes. He’s growing into a very handsome young lad and I noticed that he and his sister, who is also a very lovely looking young lady, mostly kept to themselves.
I was chatting with the lady with my back to the crowd when Stephen appeared again at my side. It turned out that the couple I was talking to were also from the Carolinas and they asked how he’d met Evie. Colbert told the story of how they’d grown up a block away from each other and he’d heard of her but never actually met until by accident later in life. I was hoping to give a link to an article that was a more in-depth story of how they met but it must not be available online any longer. I can summarize here what it said but unfortunately have no reference to back this up.
He was at a party with his mother and spotted her across the room. These were in his bearded days. His mother stated that she didn’t see him the rest of the night. During that time he’d been in a relationship with another woman who was pushing for a commitment and he wasn’t sure about it. If I recall properly, he and Evie corresponded through mail for some time due to his traveling performances with Second City before finally getting married.
The couple proceeded to talk with him about areas that they commonly knew and asked Stephen if he knew some particular families from the region. Stephen replied that he thought Evie might and looked for her but she was talking with another group of people. While they chatted about the Carolinas (they were from North, he from South) I stood by quietly. I’d already talked with him and didn’t want to interrupt their conversation. Still, I didn’t walk away and enjoyed listening to their small talk about their home states. Then, the gentlemen asked Stephen to sign my bag for me. I was totally shocked! Suddenly the center of attention, I groped through my bag for the sharpie I’d brought and came up with mascara and concealer before triumphantly retrieving the fat red pen. He signed it “Stay Strong” with his name. I was blown away as my favorite author, Andrew Vachss, had signed a book for me the same way. I received the book during an extremely difficult time in my life and had nearly been moved to tears by the simple but touching message.
I told Stephen that Mr. Vachss had the same signature and he asked about his writing which is not an easy thing to describe. Stephen said that he signed it that way because an artist (whose name I forget, forgive me, the curse of that third glass of wine!) had approached him and Steve Carell in a bar and said, “Stay strong, be brave.” Then proceeded to turn and walk out of the bar. Stephen described the artist as tall and handsome (darn my alcohol befuddled brain!). He stated that he always signs things with one of those two statements because of that.
Within moments of him signing my bag and taking his leave of us, they were telling everyone that they should move to their seats or step out side for a few minutes. Our time had come to an end. I did step outside and ended up having a cigarette with one of the gentlemen responsible for the MIFF website creation. Upon returning and finding my seat I talked with a lovely couple that had not been at the earlier party. They had just gotten done speaking with Jonathan Alter and the man was, apparently, too conservative for their taste. While we waited they played songs that Stephen had sung with guests on his show including some that never aired like “The Sound of Silence” with Simon and Garfunkel and “Carolina On My Mind” with James Taylor. The next hour flew by and then the show began. Steve Adubato made a brief introduction and clips from The Colbert Report played. The primary focus surrounded Operation Iraqi Stephen Going Commando, the Olympics, and some of his earlier work with Better Know a District and such. Then, Stephen and Jonathon took the stage.
“Many time zones, many continents are here.” Was the bold claim that Stephen started the evening with and, of course, he got a laugh. He thanked his wife Evie. Jonathan Alter mentioned that his wife, Emily Lazer, works for Colbert as a producer. Colbert said, “Yes, we’re very incestuous.” Alter brought up the fact that Stephen had claimed at the end of last night’s show that it was the last and mentioned the fire extinguisher incident with Richard Branson. Stephen said that Branson had shown up with the fire extinguisher and he’d already planned to have two seltzer bottles by the table. He said that his staff had taken Branson’s extinguisher away and replaced it with C02 extinguisher. Stephen had been fine with that as long as he had the seltzer to fire back with. However, Branson switched it out for a chemical extinguisher and now, “Every time I cough it feels like I’ve swam fifty laps.”
They moved on to talking about Colbert living in New Jersey. He stated that it was an accident that he ended up there as a family member was selling a property and the price was right. He said he wouldn’t dare to attempt the Jersey accent and joked that after moving here he discovered the rumors weren’t true. It wasn’t a “slag heap with a highway running down the middle of it.” Jonathan asked about his southern accent and Stephen went into the story of when he was a kid and Southerners were represented as stupid. He mentioned wanting to seem smart and how that was different from being smart. He noted that John Chancellor was a role model for this, as no one could tell where he was from.
He then mentioned that he was working on something with South Carolina concerning his Super PAC and stated that he wouldn’t be on the phone but for a few minutes before slipping into the accent. He then demonstrated with a few quick sentences using his accent, which was very cute. He said his dad actually grew up in New York City and that his mom and dad meet when they were twelve and she invited him to a cotillion. They lived in Chatsworth. He said his mom literally lived on the wrong side of the tracks. He said of her, “Classy dame, she’s 91.” Alter asked about his brothers and sisters. Much of the audience reacted in surprise to his being one of eleven. Of course, he listed their names. He returned to speaking about his dad and how he was a doctor of Immunology by design but ran the hospital out of necessity.
He said his mother wanted to be an actress and was to study at Carnegie Institute of Theatre. She warned him that it was, “Such hard work.” Unfortunately, she became very ill, “deathly sick” before she could go and during this time his father proposed so she never did. He felt that she’d lived vicariously through him when he studied acting. He stated that when he was telling her why he wanted to be an actor he quoted lines from the Sondheim play, Sunday In The Park With George:
While he “creates,” We scrape their plates And dust their knickknacks, Hundreds to the shelf. Work is what you do for others, Liebchen,
Art is what you do for yourself.
He said that when he was a kid, he didn’t have a typical childhood. They had a large family so he didn’t go to camp. Home was camp. Playing on dirt roads and throwing sticks at alligators. After his father and next eldest brothers died, it was pretty unique as well. The house went from having eleven people in it to two in about a month. Every thing was dark, black, and nobody talked about it. He said both seemed normal (before and after their deaths) to him because he was a kid and didn’t know anything different.
Alter asked if his comedy instinct came from trying to make his mom laugh. He said his family was a humorocracy and that he thinks his brothers and sisters are much funnier than him and they think so too. When he’s with them he’s very quiet because he wants to listen to them. When his dad and brothers were buried in Annapolis his sister Mary got his other sister Margo to laugh so hard on the way back from the funeral that she fell over and snorted laughing and he thought “I want that”.
He said part of being a comedian was being able to tell a story. A poetry teacher he’d had told him he could be a poet when he’d read ten thousand poems. Stories are like that too. He said that in his family they would tell the same stories over and over again and everyone would act as though they’d never heard them before. He also said, “It drives my wife nuts!”
When asked about his character’s mental age he responded that his wife claims he’s nine. Stephen thinks of him as very innocent. He mentioned that soon he’ll hit 1,000 shows (huge applause). He continued that his character lives a completely unexamined life and that the way he thinks and lives is very seductive. He’s childlike, in that, he could eat an all chocolate diet and not understand why he’s sick.
Alter asked him what he would do if he could do/be anything. Stephen said, “I would start a cult.” because “You don’t have to follow through with any of your promises.” Alter implied that the Colbert Nation was a bit cultish before asking him about the pronunciation of his last name. Stephen said he went with the silent “t” because he’s more pretentious (then other family members). Then he went on to say that some of the family follows one pronunciation while some follow the other. Again a familiar story to most fans about how his father’s father would have taken it as an insult if he’d changed his name but his father had told them that they could do as they pleased. He joked that their family law firm would be ColberT, ColberT, ColberT, and Colbert. He also stated that people sometimes thought that his mother had two husbands when they were introduced with each other due to the different pronunciations.
The family believes that they are related to Jean-Baptiste Colbert and he does too because they “were all a bunch of horse thieves” who would have had no other way of knowing about the man unless they were related. He talked about the Faces Of America segment that PBS did where they traced his genealogy (very worth checking out if you haven’t seen it). For awhile they’d thought he might be part Jewish, which excited Jon Stewart but he was in the one-fourth of kids who are not. He also said it debunked the family myth that they were part Native American (it was either Chickasaw or Cherokee that he specifically mentioned).
He also told the story (at Alter’s instigation) of changing the pronunciation of his name while flying to college. He was bumped to first class and he thought, “This is how I’m riding from now on.” He was seated next to an astronaut who he talked to about all of the changes he was making and asked his opinion about his last name. The astronaut responded that he thought Stephen had already made up his mind if he was talking to him about it. Still, he seemed to take pride that an astronaut helped him decide his name.
His favorite movies: A Man for All Seasons and Network.
His hated movies: Love Story, The Way We Were, The Great Gatsby, and all of the mushy seventies love stories his sisters made him watch.
Favorite TV shows: All in the Family, Sgt. Bilko, The Three Stooges, Dick Cavett Show and Cinematic Eye with South Carolina.
Stephen said that he’s a big fan of Dick Cavett and that they have been corresponding by email for four years but have never met. Mr. Cavett will email him things that he’s doing on The Colbert Report that are similar to things that he did on his show from the seventies.
When Jonathan asked about the Lord of the Rings. He joked that he’d liked to do anything other than study. He said “I don’t know what’s with me and Lord of the Rings.” Continuing on about the difference between fantasy and sci-fi, which was what he’d primarily read after the death of his father and brothers. When he was thirteen someone put the book into his hand and he “gobbled it up”. He described it as Wagnerian, an immersive world and he wanted to be immersed in something other than reality. He went on to say that he finds Apollonian ideas in Aragorn. He is the ideal healer and ruler, before being a warrior. He finds this similar to Ulysses (the novel by James Joyce, not the former President and Union General). He said that Ulysses was written because Joyce thought that Ireland had no soul and that Tolkien had done the same for the Anglo-Saxons, to give them a center.
They then moved onto Catholicism. Alter’s wife had been told by Evie that his faith grounds him and is very important to him. Stephen said that he was very, very interested in his faith but sometimes he only remembers that he was interested/inspired. That most days were an “I remember” or a “I wish I could remember what that felt like” day. On the topic of his character being irreverent he said, “They can’t excommunicate me, only my character.” Alter asked him what he thought of Newt Gingrich converting. Stephen said, “It registers with me, I’m not thrilled.” Alter implied that Catholicism was convenient for him due to confession and absolution. Stephen mentioned the fact of his cheating on his wife. He added, “The ability to question keeps me involved because they have f-ed up royally (the church)”.
When asked about Company he said he would be interested in doing something like that again, if he could take the year off and learn how to do it. He told the story of Sondheim coming on his show and he sang his version of “Where are the Clowns?” for the audience. Then, he said how Sondheim had written to him, and Evie had encouraged him to take the role. He said he wasn’t that interested in doing other projects because, “Anything I want to do I can ask of myself”. Johnny Carson had said to Jay Leno, who told Conan O’Brien, who told him: The beast is just too hungry (in regards to doing everything you’re capable of to entertain).
One of the jokes he told on the show recently was actually one of the first jokes he’d ever written. The one about the guy who commits suicide, goes to heaven, and questions the fact that he thought it (suicide) would damn him to hell. God replies that it’s a very complicated issue and that even he’d thought about it but “What if this is all there is?” (from the 11/09/11 interview with Father James Martin).
They went on to discuss physical comedy. He again mentioned The Three Stooges. Alter said he was also a fan to which Colbert replied, “Yeah, but did you try to reproduce everything they did?” He also talked about Jerry Lewis and a scene from “Sailor Beware” where Jerry’s in a fight but ends up repeatedly hitting himself. Stephen got up and demonstrated this for the audience. Swinging his fist forward and back into his chin. Then prat-falling onto the floor. He would repeat this over and over trying to figure out how to do it without hurting himself. He apparently wasn’t successful at not hurting himself while giving us the demonstration though, oops!
Alter asked about the difference between him and Jon Stewart and he felt it was the difference between a background with improv (which involves other people) and stand up (which he considers lonely). He said that he sees the show as one long scene that began with the Truthiness bit and has continued for over 970 shows. While sometimes his guest is the “other” in the scene, it’s usually the audience. Each partner wants something from the other. He wants the audience to love him.
When he was younger he tried out for Saturday Night Live a few times and met with Lauren who told him that many actors are confused about whether or not they’re comedians and he said, “I’m an actor but I’m not confused about it.” He knew he was primarily interested in comedy. Alter mentioned his younger, more serious years, “I wanted to be Hamlet, not play Hamlet.” He went on to tell the infamous “Whales” song story complete with whale sound effects. For those who’ve never heard it, he was working at Second City and a lady who did the same short bit and always killed with it went out on stage and started doing a song where she made whale noises but on this night the audience wasn’t responding. Then half way through she stopped and said, “Oh, I forgot. It’s for the whales!” Backstage everyone started laughing and she heard them mocking her (not in a mean-spirited way but joyful at her failure) and she started laughing. He felt that was much healthier than in straight theatre where when you’re bombing and go backstage it’s more like (mimes powdering face) “Oh, how’s it going out there?” He prefers open mockery to quiet disdain.
He talked about how, in improv you don’t make it about yourself, “You only name the other, you gift the other.” He gave an example of a partner calling the other Doctor so they know their status. Then the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news.” The other says, “Did they get a hold of the books?” Now the doctor knows the other is not a patient but a partner. The doctor says, “No it’s worse than that.” etc. He said he taught improv for years and that it was mostly about showing others that they could do it and striping away their inadequacies. “Your failure is still interesting. If their expectations (the audience) mean nothing to you, no offense (this was directed at us, the audience). Then you can be normal.”
When asked about his period of unemployed/underemployed actor before The Daily Show he brought up hiding from his wife to be able to express his emotions about this. He said he, “Seem(s) to have no other skill, so my only choice is this dangerous path.” Alter asked him if it was better off that he didn’t achieve fame until he was older and he said he thought it was better for him because if he was younger it may be more difficult to differentiate between himself and the character. If people loved the character he would’ve been more likely to ‘be him’ all the time. Alter asked if he’d ever done ‘him’ at home. Stephen said, “I’ve been asked to leave the house and come back in as her husband.”
In regards to his show/character, he gave credit to Jon, for The Daily Show, which is more a model of the evening news and that his show/character was the natural counterpart to it as the cult of personality. When they did The Colbert Report previews on The Daily Show as a joke, people called in asking when it was going to be on. Jon started saying that it’d already been cancelled to make people understand it was a joke but they kept calling. “It was natural that my show should exist in relation to Jon’s show.” As far as success, “It took me a long time to realize that we were successful because we had another show to do.” He would take a minute to reflect on that night’s show, to think that something went well or should have been done differently and then he’d be looking over material for the next day.
Typical day: He gets driven to work, reads scripts, and at 9:45am he calls the executive producer to say what they’re going to do and what they’re going to kill. Then he sits in the middle of the writers room and everybody pitches. They come up with about eight ideas and he assigns four new stories. He said that this was the hardest part. To say, “This is what I like about what you said” and do it with passion and vision. It’s “Hard to crank that engine that early in the morning”. The script is supposed to be done by 3:00pm but it’s usually 3:30pm. He showers, shaves, goes over the guest information, and rehearses. On a good night he’s done around 8:00pm, on a bad night he’s done by 9:30pm.
As far as the guests go: He always tells them that it will be the character interviewing them, not him. That can be hard for them because they “Don’t know how he’ll behave.” The Better Know a District segment was created because congress people were the only politicians that would talk to him. He was told “But they’ll pretty much talk to anybody”. He was like “Great, that’ll be our thing we’ll do this 435 part series.” For authors, Emily (Alter’s wife) comes in with somebody who has actually read the book. They’ll come up with about three questions and the rest is all improve. Politicians always think it’s going to be a Robert Wexler thing all over again, “God, if could make all of them that way…”
He doesn’t see why people would be intimidated by ‘his’ political views. “I can’t imagine anyone thinking that I have stronger political views than Jon. I argue emotion not ideas. I will agree them into their grave.” He continued that what he thinks is off-putting for people, is that most people come to a discussion with assumptions, one of them being that the other person has a desire to not look like an idiot. “I have every desire.” If an idea makes sense to his character than it must be idiotic. Especially if his character can argue it as well as the guest can. He said that Jon often talks about throwing spit balls but he is the spitball.
He has the most fun singing with guests. Recently when he sang “Lean On Me” with Brian Eno and Michael Stipe, Eno had told him he thought they should sing it for, “his heart’s sake”. When he and Stipe began to sing it Eno came out and said, “I carry the lyrics!” As far as difficulties with the show, Stephen stated that during Operation Iraqi Stephen they had run the show off of two Apple laptops.
Alter asked him how long he could keep this up. Stephen said that this week’s shows had been particularly difficult to execute. When things are smooth he could do it for ten more years though. He enjoys doing the character and people enjoy seeing it.
They opened the floor for audience questions. I quickly got in line and when my turn came up I asked, “Your character wants to be loved by everyone (Colbert agreed wholeheartedly with this, of course) but you’ve given him some characteristics that are pretty unlikable. (I was surprised to see him looking totally confused, so I clarified). He hates books and blindly follows authority without question. I was wondering how you manage to pull that off, especially when it’s so different from how you actually are?” Stephen responded that there was something very seductive to him about those aspects of the character. He started by saying something about knowledge but quickly dropped that in favor of addressing the authority piece of it. He said that it was hard to think for yourself and that the idea of having someone else just tell him what to do and obey was appealing. He said, “If I could be infantilized in that way, I would be.”
Two different women told him it was their birthday. The first asked him for a kiss, which he respectfully declined, stating that his wife was present. He did finger shoot her a wrist strong bracelet though. The second asked him for a picture. He said, “I’m not going to do this again.” Then he lay down on the stage with his back to her and lifted his head. She ran up behind him and he snapped a pic but the strange thing is he was using his phone. Not sure how she got it but I thought it was pretty generous of him and surprising, the way he did it. He also sang “Happy Birthday” in Latin.
He was asked how he got guests to say ridiculous things, “I’m willing to ask.” Then he talked about nailing Lynn Westmoreland on the Ten Commandments question (06/14/06). He said he bet that the congressman didn’t know them and was willing to ask. Of course, he was right.
On how he met Amy Sedaris, “I had seen her on set and wondered, who was this person who was so much better than everyone else?” He talked about Lorrie Fischer being the model for Jerry Blank and riffed a few sentences using Blank’s voice.
He was asked if he could have any Christmas special guest, living or dead, who he’d choose. The obvious answer was Jesus, which got quite a laugh. They asked what he’d have Jesus do and he replied that he’d have him sing “Frosty the Snowman.”
Someone asked him who the biggest jerk he’d ever interviewed was and who was the biggest joy. They stated that Jack White (or “the guy from the White Stripes”) seemed particularly annoyed or hostile (paraphrasing exact description). Stephen countered that Jack had been very joyous to work with and told them that he wouldn’t say who the biggest jerk was. He suggested that they watch all 979 shows.
Some young ladies wanted to ask him advice for an improv group. He said, “The other person on stage is more interesting than you.” and that they should listen more than speak. Doing something is interesting because it’s action, if you feel something people will connect with you, then say something.
Is he Stephen or “Stephen” when he interviews publicly? He’s never usually himself in an interview but not totally the character either because he “doesn’t really work out of context”.
Another person had stumbled across an old Second City performance he’d given called, “Describing a Circle” and asked him what it was about. He said no one had ever asked him about that before and that it was a series of short, one page stories where he acted out all of the parts. One was about Pi.
What was the ‘thing’ that Stephen thanked Bill O’Reilly for not mentioning? “I would be betraying a confidence.”
What makes him nervous (as a performer)? “I’m giving… I can’t tell you. Some live performances still make me nervous.” Like if he had to do a five-minute monologue without any help. He still gets a little nervous before each show, which he considers healthy nerves that drive performers to do well.
I will preface the last question by first stating that it was entirely out of line. A young man asked if he, Jon, and Steve Carell were in a “love circle”. Ten seconds of awkward silence later he continued, “And be honest.” Another bit of silence and Stephen responded, “If it was me, Jon, and Steve it would be a love triangle”. Stephen looked none too comfortable with this. It was a strange moment for everyone involved and I would highly suggest that others not attempt this. If anything, my inclusion of this question is more of a cautionary tale than an enticement to gossip or to encourage such behavior. I certainly hope his children were not present at that moment. We should all remember that Stephen is a family man and respect his privacy.
They wrapped up the show by Stephen stating that if he had one last musical guest (which he hoped never happened) he would want to sing Ben Folds Five, “Best Imitation of Myself”. He proceeded to sing it for us. Lastly, he encouraged everyone to support the MIFF, sighting the film festival in his home city as having a great influence in his path in life and encouraging any community, regardless of size, to make the arts an important feature.
I hope you all enjoyed this fairly long account of the evening. I know there are a lot of stories that many of us may be familiar with already but there were plenty of new surprises along the way too. The trip was unbelievable and a comedy of errors in the best possible way. Thanks for reading!
Event Report: Stephen Colbert at the Wellmont Theatre.
Hubster Kris, who was lucky enough to attend the V.I.P cocktail reception, has sent in this amazingly detailed report of ‘A Conversation with Stephen Colbert’ at the Wellmont Theatre, New Jersey.
Hello Hubsters! I’m sure you’re all aware that Stephen had an out of character chat with Jon Alter to support the Montclair International Film Festival (MIFF) last Friday night from 8:00 – 9:30pm. The event also boasted that, for a price, a person could have cocktails with the man of the evening from 6 – 7pm. Apparently, that was too much for my brain to handle and I decided to go (hey, I have the rest of my life to pay it off, right?). The V.I.P. tickets included free parking a few blocks from the theater and guests were asked to arrive at 5:45pm. I, of course, was unable to find the lot. At 6:05 pm I was cursing the inventor of GPS and changing my shoes in the car, while driving. A note to the kids out there: don’t try this at home.
I arrived at the Wellmont Theatre ten minutes late, limping, having just narrowly escaped getting towed, and parking in a place where I had no guarantee of not being towed. As I determinedly strode toward the building, wearing shoes designed to make a person as uncomfortable as humanly possible, I glanced down and noticed that I was still wearing one knee-high sock from the boots I had been walking around in New York City all day in, which were the cause of my current limping status. A unique look with the strappy, open toe heels I was currently sporting. I quickly rectified the situation, stuffing the solitary sock into the Stephen Colbert- Barnes & Noble canvas book bag I carried. I continued gimping my way into the theater, despairing at the thought of having wasted ten minutes of the cocktail hour.
However, upon entering in the room I glanced around and quickly discovered that Stephen wasn’t there. For a second I had the crazy thought, “Is this some horrible trick?” Then, the happy realization dawned that I hadn’t missed anything. Thank God for the man being fashionably late! Free booze was all around but instead of ordering anything I opted for just grabbing a glass of red wine, of which there were many, from the bar. Servers walked around with mini burgers, single scallops, and other assorted appetizers. I was a bit nervous and passed on them the several times they were offered. I believe I was likely the youngest person there and certainly the only person there alone. Everyone was very well dressed and I was glad I’d opted for a simple black dress and jacket.
Suddenly, I was very grateful for not having arrived early to stand around awkwardly. Plus, after the glass of wine my feet didn’t feel so damaged after all. I stood with my back to the theatre and watched all the doors. The event was held in the back of the theatre where you would enter it, just beneath the balcony. Within a few moments of finishing my drink the side doors on the right opened and in walked Stephen, Evie, their son Peter, and daughter Madeline. They all wore giant smiles and while their clothes were not dressed down they were not overdressed. The ladies both wore simple dresses and the gents wore dress slacks, button up shirts, and jackets. I have to say I felt less intimidated by them the most of the guests! Except, it was Stephen Colbert and kin!
No one appeared to notice his arrival. No one seemed to be reacting at all. The photographers were the only people behaving as though anyone out of the ordinary had arrived and guests continued to talk among themselves as the couple poised for pictures. Stephen and Evie both hugged a few people they knew and it didn’t take the kids long to make themselves scarce, most likely bored by all the grown ups. For Stephen’s part, after the pictures were done he immediately began conversing with the group of people closest to him. Evie didn’t stay glued to Stephen’s side but was an excellent hostess and mingled among the guests separately. I think a lot of the people there were regulars of the theatre and the one’s I talked too were all from Montclair so I suspect that she knew several of them. I did not approach her or the kids and say anything as it didn’t seem appropriate.
I will admit to hovering a bit around Stephen though. Waiting for my turn to talk to the man. There was about twenty to thirty people there, all talking and drinking so I didn’t catch anything he said to anyone else. After he’d spoken to many of the guests nearest the bar (grabbing snacks and drinks all the while) a lady who must have been working for the event actually got his attention and said, “I think there’s someone who’d like to meet you”. Referring to me. I must have been standing in that exact spot longer than I thought, for someone to take notice like that and I had a bit of a “how embarrassing” moment but then Stephen was shaking my hand and smiling.
I introduced myself and told him that I’d come from Minnesota to see him. He asked me if I grew up there and I told him that I’d lived in Aurora, Colorado as a child. He said that he’d learned to ski while living in Aurora with his brother. I told him that I’d tried to learn to ski but had a “Wrist Strong” moment where I broke my arm running into, of all places, the first aid building (I was twelve and caught in a snowmobile track). He laughed and asked me what I did for a living and I joked about having two degrees and being a customer service representative. He said, “I’ve been there!” I smiled and assured him “I’d be a real criminologist one day.” Then, I let him know that the aforementioned Barnes & Noble bag had been in the solitary confinement unit of a maximum security prison. He laughed at that and the fact that the prisoners assumed he was a politician. “Of course, I look…” I smiled and quickly stated that, in their defense, they don’t have cable. I’d wanted to ask him to sign it but chickened out.
I told him that a friend of mine asked me to tell him that he should have an epic geek off with Olivia Munn. He responded that Olivia might even be a bigger geek than he was. I encouraged him, that he’d never know until he tried. He stated that he’d beat her at Lord of the Rings. Of course, my response was to ask who he couldn’t beat at Lord of the Rings trivia besides Tolkien himself. He asked if I’d like a picture taken with him. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and then had a moment of panic, realizing that I had no one to ask to take the picture. However, the photographers at the event took one of us and later a lady took down my name. I assume they’re going to send them or email them or something. Throughout the whole thing my legs were shaking and I did the “Black friend” pose. Pointing at Stephen and wearing a huge grin. I figured I may as well since there was no way to get the stupid grin off my face anyway. Then, he offered to take one on my phone too, to have while I was waiting on the other picture and he took my phone and held it out and snapped a shot of us.
I have to say that if I had to describe Stephen with one word it would be ‘kind’. I wouldn’t doubt if my nervousness was apparent but he smiled warmly, maintained eye contact, and was not at all an intimidating person out of character. I have read that when fans meet him in character he can be imposing. I think his casual attire helped. I’d been picturing him showing up in a tux like James Bond or something all set with his arched eyebrows and stern stare. It was great to see him so relaxed and friendly.
After having chatted for what I thought was a generous amount of time considering all the rest of the people he had to meet, he departed. I made my way back to a less crowded area near a couple I’d talked to earlier in the evening, after grabbing another glass of wine. It was the third glass that went straight to my head but my legs were better behaved after that. While we were talking I’d confessed about chickening out about asking for the autograph. They still hadn’t spoken with Stephen but they weren’t distressed about it. I talked with a couple of other people in the area, including one of the photographers but didn’t go far. The gentlemen did make small talk with Colbert’s son for a few minutes. He’s growing into a very handsome young lad and I noticed that he and his sister, who is also a very lovely looking young lady, mostly kept to themselves.
I was chatting with the lady with my back to the crowd when Stephen appeared again at my side. It turned out that the couple I was talking to were also from the Carolinas and they asked how he’d met Evie. Colbert told the story of how they’d grown up a block away from each other and he’d heard of her but never actually met until by accident later in life. I was hoping to give a link to an article that was a more in-depth story of how they met but it must not be available online any longer. I can summarize here what it said but unfortunately have no reference to back this up.
He was at a party with his mother and spotted her across the room. These were in his bearded days. His mother stated that she didn’t see him the rest of the night. During that time he’d been in a relationship with another woman who was pushing for a commitment and he wasn’t sure about it. If I recall properly, he and Evie corresponded through mail for some time due to his traveling performances with Second City before finally getting married.
The couple proceeded to talk with him about areas that they commonly knew and asked Stephen if he knew some particular families from the region. Stephen replied that he thought Evie might and looked for her but she was talking with another group of people. While they chatted about the Carolinas (they were from North, he from South) I stood by quietly. I’d already talked with him and didn’t want to interrupt their conversation. Still, I didn’t walk away and enjoyed listening to their small talk about their home states. Then, the gentlemen asked Stephen to sign my bag for me. I was totally shocked! Suddenly the center of attention, I groped through my bag for the sharpie I’d brought and came up with mascara and concealer before triumphantly retrieving the fat red pen. He signed it “Stay Strong” with his name. I was blown away as my favorite author, Andrew Vachss, had signed a book for me the same way. I received the book during an extremely difficult time in my life and had nearly been moved to tears by the simple but touching message.
I told Stephen that Mr. Vachss had the same signature and he asked about his writing which is not an easy thing to describe. Stephen said that he signed it that way because an artist (whose name I forget, forgive me, the curse of that third glass of wine!) had approached him and Steve Carell in a bar and said, “Stay strong, be brave.” Then proceeded to turn and walk out of the bar. Stephen described the artist as tall and handsome (darn my alcohol befuddled brain!). He stated that he always signs things with one of those two statements because of that.
Within moments of him signing my bag and taking his leave of us, they were telling everyone that they should move to their seats or step out side for a few minutes. Our time had come to an end. I did step outside and ended up having a cigarette with one of the gentlemen responsible for the MIFF website creation. Upon returning and finding my seat I talked with a lovely couple that had not been at the earlier party. They had just gotten done speaking with Jonathan Alter and the man was, apparently, too conservative for their taste. While we waited they played songs that Stephen had sung with guests on his show including some that never aired like “The Sound of Silence” with Simon and Garfunkel and “Carolina On My Mind” with James Taylor. The next hour flew by and then the show began. Steve Adubato made a brief introduction and clips from The Colbert Report played. The primary focus surrounded Operation Iraqi Stephen Going Commando, the Olympics, and some of his earlier work with Better Know a District and such. Then, Stephen and Jonathon took the stage.
“Many time zones, many continents are here.” Was the bold claim that Stephen started the evening with and, of course, he got a laugh. He thanked his wife Evie. Jonathan Alter mentioned that his wife, Emily Lazer, works for Colbert as a producer. Colbert said, “Yes, we’re very incestuous.” Alter brought up the fact that Stephen had claimed at the end of last night’s show that it was the last and mentioned the fire extinguisher incident with Richard Branson. Stephen said that Branson had shown up with the fire extinguisher and he’d already planned to have two seltzer bottles by the table. He said that his staff had taken Branson’s extinguisher away and replaced it with C02 extinguisher. Stephen had been fine with that as long as he had the seltzer to fire back with. However, Branson switched it out for a chemical extinguisher and now, “Every time I cough it feels like I’ve swam fifty laps.”
They moved on to talking about Colbert living in New Jersey. He stated that it was an accident that he ended up there as a family member was selling a property and the price was right. He said he wouldn’t dare to attempt the Jersey accent and joked that after moving here he discovered the rumors weren’t true. It wasn’t a “slag heap with a highway running down the middle of it.” Jonathan asked about his southern accent and Stephen went into the story of when he was a kid and Southerners were represented as stupid. He mentioned wanting to seem smart and how that was different from being smart. He noted that John Chancellor was a role model for this, as no one could tell where he was from.
He then mentioned that he was working on something with South Carolina concerning his Super PAC and stated that he wouldn’t be on the phone but for a few minutes before slipping into the accent. He then demonstrated with a few quick sentences using his accent, which was very cute. He said his dad actually grew up in New York City and that his mom and dad meet when they were twelve and she invited him to a cotillion. They lived in Chatsworth. He said his mom literally lived on the wrong side of the tracks. He said of her, “Classy dame, she’s 91.” Alter asked about his brothers and sisters. Much of the audience reacted in surprise to his being one of eleven. Of course, he listed their names. He returned to speaking about his dad and how he was a doctor of Immunology by design but ran the hospital out of necessity.
He said his mother wanted to be an actress and was to study at Carnegie Institute of Theatre. She warned him that it was, “Such hard work.” Unfortunately, she became very ill, “deathly sick” before she could go and during this time his father proposed so she never did. He felt that she’d lived vicariously through him when he studied acting. He stated that when he was telling her why he wanted to be an actor he quoted lines from the Sondheim play, Sunday In The Park With George:
While he “creates,” We scrape their plates And dust their knickknacks, Hundreds to the shelf. Work is what you do for others, Liebchen,
Art is what you do for yourself.
He said that when he was a kid, he didn’t have a typical childhood. They had a large family so he didn’t go to camp. Home was camp. Playing on dirt roads and throwing sticks at alligators. After his father and next eldest brothers died, it was pretty unique as well. The house went from having eleven people in it to two in about a month. Every thing was dark, black, and nobody talked about it. He said both seemed normal (before and after their deaths) to him because he was a kid and didn’t know anything different.
Alter asked if his comedy instinct came from trying to make his mom laugh. He said his family was a humorocracy and that he thinks his brothers and sisters are much funnier than him and they think so too. When he’s with them he’s very quiet because he wants to listen to them. When his dad and brothers were buried in Annapolis his sister Mary got his other sister Margo to laugh so hard on the way back from the funeral that she fell over and snorted laughing and he thought “I want that”.
He said part of being a comedian was being able to tell a story. A poetry teacher he’d had told him he could be a poet when he’d read ten thousand poems. Stories are like that too. He said that in his family they would tell the same stories over and over again and everyone would act as though they’d never heard them before. He also said, “It drives my wife nuts!”
When asked about his character’s mental age he responded that his wife claims he’s nine. Stephen thinks of him as very innocent. He mentioned that soon he’ll hit 1,000 shows (huge applause). He continued that his character lives a completely unexamined life and that the way he thinks and lives is very seductive. He’s childlike, in that, he could eat an all chocolate diet and not understand why he’s sick.
Alter asked him what he would do if he could do/be anything. Stephen said, “I would start a cult.” because “You don’t have to follow through with any of your promises.” Alter implied that the Colbert Nation was a bit cultish before asking him about the pronunciation of his last name. Stephen said he went with the silent “t” because he’s more pretentious (then other family members). Then he went on to say that some of the family follows one pronunciation while some follow the other. Again a familiar story to most fans about how his father’s father would have taken it as an insult if he’d changed his name but his father had told them that they could do as they pleased. He joked that their family law firm would be ColberT, ColberT, ColberT, and Colbert. He also stated that people sometimes thought that his mother had two husbands when they were introduced with each other due to the different pronunciations.
The family believes that they are related to Jean-Baptiste Colbert and he does too because they “were all a bunch of horse thieves” who would have had no other way of knowing about the man unless they were related. He talked about the Faces Of America segment that PBS did where they traced his genealogy (very worth checking out if you haven’t seen it). For awhile they’d thought he might be part Jewish, which excited Jon Stewart but he was in the one-fourth of kids who are not. He also said it debunked the family myth that they were part Native American (it was either Chickasaw or Cherokee that he specifically mentioned).
He also told the story (at Alter’s instigation) of changing the pronunciation of his name while flying to college. He was bumped to first class and he thought, “This is how I’m riding from now on.” He was seated next to an astronaut who he talked to about all of the changes he was making and asked his opinion about his last name. The astronaut responded that he thought Stephen had already made up his mind if he was talking to him about it. Still, he seemed to take pride that an astronaut helped him decide his name.
His favorite movies: A Man for All Seasons and Network.
His hated movies: Love Story, The Way We Were, The Great Gatsby, and all of the mushy seventies love stories his sisters made him watch.
Favorite TV shows: All in the Family, Sgt. Bilko, The Three Stooges, Dick Cavett Show and Cinematic Eye with South Carolina.
Stephen said that he’s a big fan of Dick Cavett and that they have been corresponding by email for four years but have never met. Mr. Cavett will email him things that he’s doing on The Colbert Report that are similar to things that he did on his show from the seventies.
When Jonathan asked about the Lord of the Rings. He joked that he’d liked to do anything other than study. He said “I don’t know what’s with me and Lord of the Rings.” Continuing on about the difference between fantasy and sci-fi, which was what he’d primarily read after the death of his father and brothers. When he was thirteen someone put the book into his hand and he “gobbled it up”. He described it as Wagnerian, an immersive world and he wanted to be immersed in something other than reality. He went on to say that he finds Apollonian ideas in Aragorn. He is the ideal healer and ruler, before being a warrior. He finds this similar to Ulysses (the novel by James Joyce, not the former President and Union General). He said that Ulysses was written because Joyce thought that Ireland had no soul and that Tolkien had done the same for the Anglo-Saxons, to give them a center.
They then moved onto Catholicism. Alter’s wife had been told by Evie that his faith grounds him and is very important to him. Stephen said that he was very, very interested in his faith but sometimes he only remembers that he was interested/inspired. That most days were an “I remember” or a “I wish I could remember what that felt like” day. On the topic of his character being irreverent he said, “They can’t excommunicate me, only my character.” Alter asked him what he thought of Newt Gingrich converting. Stephen said, “It registers with me, I’m not thrilled.” Alter implied that Catholicism was convenient for him due to confession and absolution. Stephen mentioned the fact of his cheating on his wife. He added, “The ability to question keeps me involved because they have f-ed up royally (the church)”.
When asked about Company he said he would be interested in doing something like that again, if he could take the year off and learn how to do it. He told the story of Sondheim coming on his show and he sang his version of “Where are the Clowns?” for the audience. Then, he said how Sondheim had written to him, and Evie had encouraged him to take the role. He said he wasn’t that interested in doing other projects because, “Anything I want to do I can ask of myself”. Johnny Carson had said to Jay Leno, who told Conan O’Brien, who told him: The beast is just too hungry (in regards to doing everything you’re capable of to entertain).
One of the jokes he told on the show recently was actually one of the first jokes he’d ever written. The one about the guy who commits suicide, goes to heaven, and questions the fact that he thought it (suicide) would damn him to hell. God replies that it’s a very complicated issue and that even he’d thought about it but “What if this is all there is?” (from the 11/09/11 interview with Father James Martin).
They went on to discuss physical comedy. He again mentioned The Three Stooges. Alter said he was also a fan to which Colbert replied, “Yeah, but did you try to reproduce everything they did?” He also talked about Jerry Lewis and a scene from “Sailor Beware” where Jerry’s in a fight but ends up repeatedly hitting himself. Stephen got up and demonstrated this for the audience. Swinging his fist forward and back into his chin. Then prat-falling onto the floor. He would repeat this over and over trying to figure out how to do it without hurting himself. He apparently wasn’t successful at not hurting himself while giving us the demonstration though, oops!
Alter asked about the difference between him and Jon Stewart and he felt it was the difference between a background with improv (which involves other people) and stand up (which he considers lonely). He said that he sees the show as one long scene that began with the Truthiness bit and has continued for over 970 shows. While sometimes his guest is the “other” in the scene, it’s usually the audience. Each partner wants something from the other. He wants the audience to love him.
When he was younger he tried out for Saturday Night Live a few times and met with Lauren who told him that many actors are confused about whether or not they’re comedians and he said, “I’m an actor but I’m not confused about it.” He knew he was primarily interested in comedy. Alter mentioned his younger, more serious years, “I wanted to be Hamlet, not play Hamlet.” He went on to tell the infamous “Whales” song story complete with whale sound effects. For those who’ve never heard it, he was working at Second City and a lady who did the same short bit and always killed with it went out on stage and started doing a song where she made whale noises but on this night the audience wasn’t responding. Then half way through she stopped and said, “Oh, I forgot. It’s for the whales!” Backstage everyone started laughing and she heard them mocking her (not in a mean-spirited way but joyful at her failure) and she started laughing. He felt that was much healthier than in straight theatre where when you’re bombing and go backstage it’s more like (mimes powdering face) “Oh, how’s it going out there?” He prefers open mockery to quiet disdain.
He talked about how, in improv you don’t make it about yourself, “You only name the other, you gift the other.” He gave an example of a partner calling the other Doctor so they know their status. Then the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news.” The other says, “Did they get a hold of the books?” Now the doctor knows the other is not a patient but a partner. The doctor says, “No it’s worse than that.” etc. He said he taught improv for years and that it was mostly about showing others that they could do it and striping away their inadequacies. “Your failure is still interesting. If their expectations (the audience) mean nothing to you, no offense (this was directed at us, the audience). Then you can be normal.”
When asked about his period of unemployed/underemployed actor before The Daily Show he brought up hiding from his wife to be able to express his emotions about this. He said he, “Seem(s) to have no other skill, so my only choice is this dangerous path.” Alter asked him if it was better off that he didn’t achieve fame until he was older and he said he thought it was better for him because if he was younger it may be more difficult to differentiate between himself and the character. If people loved the character he would’ve been more likely to ‘be him’ all the time. Alter asked if he’d ever done ‘him’ at home. Stephen said, “I’ve been asked to leave the house and come back in as her husband.”
In regards to his show/character, he gave credit to Jon, for The Daily Show, which is more a model of the evening news and that his show/character was the natural counterpart to it as the cult of personality. When they did The Colbert Report previews on The Daily Show as a joke, people called in asking when it was going to be on. Jon started saying that it’d already been cancelled to make people understand it was a joke but they kept calling. “It was natural that my show should exist in relation to Jon’s show.” As far as success, “It took me a long time to realize that we were successful because we had another show to do.” He would take a minute to reflect on that night’s show, to think that something went well or should have been done differently and then he’d be looking over material for the next day.
Typical day: He gets driven to work, reads scripts, and at 9:45am he calls the executive producer to say what they’re going to do and what they’re going to kill. Then he sits in the middle of the writers room and everybody pitches. They come up with about eight ideas and he assigns four new stories. He said that this was the hardest part. To say, “This is what I like about what you said” and do it with passion and vision. It’s “Hard to crank that engine that early in the morning”. The script is supposed to be done by 3:00pm but it’s usually 3:30pm. He showers, shaves, goes over the guest information, and rehearses. On a good night he’s done around 8:00pm, on a bad night he’s done by 9:30pm.
As far as the guests go: He always tells them that it will be the character interviewing them, not him. That can be hard for them because they “Don’t know how he’ll behave.” The Better Know a District segment was created because congress people were the only politicians that would talk to him. He was told “But they’ll pretty much talk to anybody”. He was like “Great, that’ll be our thing we’ll do this 435 part series.” For authors, Emily (Alter’s wife) comes in with somebody who has actually read the book. They’ll come up with about three questions and the rest is all improve. Politicians always think it’s going to be a Robert Wexler thing all over again, “God, if could make all of them that way…”
He doesn’t see why people would be intimidated by ‘his’ political views. “I can’t imagine anyone thinking that I have stronger political views than Jon. I argue emotion not ideas. I will agree them into their grave.” He continued that what he thinks is off-putting for people, is that most people come to a discussion with assumptions, one of them being that the other person has a desire to not look like an idiot. “I have every desire.” If an idea makes sense to his character than it must be idiotic. Especially if his character can argue it as well as the guest can. He said that Jon often talks about throwing spit balls but he is the spitball.
He has the most fun singing with guests. Recently when he sang “Lean On Me” with Brian Eno and Michael Stipe, Eno had told him he thought they should sing it for, “his heart’s sake”. When he and Stipe began to sing it Eno came out and said, “I carry the lyrics!” As far as difficulties with the show, Stephen stated that during Operation Iraqi Stephen they had run the show off of two Apple laptops.
Alter asked him how long he could keep this up. Stephen said that this week’s shows had been particularly difficult to execute. When things are smooth he could do it for ten more years though. He enjoys doing the character and people enjoy seeing it.
They opened the floor for audience questions. I quickly got in line and when my turn came up I asked, “Your character wants to be loved by everyone (Colbert agreed wholeheartedly with this, of course) but you’ve given him some characteristics that are pretty unlikable. (I was surprised to see him looking totally confused, so I clarified). He hates books and blindly follows authority without question. I was wondering how you manage to pull that off, especially when it’s so different from how you actually are?” Stephen responded that there was something very seductive to him about those aspects of the character. He started by saying something about knowledge but quickly dropped that in favor of addressing the authority piece of it. He said that it was hard to think for yourself and that the idea of having someone else just tell him what to do and obey was appealing. He said, “If I could be infantilized in that way, I would be.”
Two different women told him it was their birthday. The first asked him for a kiss, which he respectfully declined, stating that his wife was present. He did finger shoot her a wrist strong bracelet though. The second asked him for a picture. He said, “I’m not going to do this again.” Then he lay down on the stage with his back to her and lifted his head. She ran up behind him and he snapped a pic but the strange thing is he was using his phone. Not sure how she got it but I thought it was pretty generous of him and surprising, the way he did it. He also sang “Happy Birthday” in Latin.
He was asked how he got guests to say ridiculous things, “I’m willing to ask.” Then he talked about nailing Lynn Westmoreland on the Ten Commandments question (06/14/06). He said he bet that the congressman didn’t know them and was willing to ask. Of course, he was right.
On how he met Amy Sedaris, “I had seen her on set and wondered, who was this person who was so much better than everyone else?” He talked about Lorrie Fischer being the model for Jerry Blank and riffed a few sentences using Blank’s voice.
He was asked if he could have any Christmas special guest, living or dead, who he’d choose. The obvious answer was Jesus, which got quite a laugh. They asked what he’d have Jesus do and he replied that he’d have him sing “Frosty the Snowman.”
Someone asked him who the biggest jerk he’d ever interviewed was and who was the biggest joy. They stated that Jack White (or “the guy from the White Stripes”) seemed particularly annoyed or hostile (paraphrasing exact description). Stephen countered that Jack had been very joyous to work with and told them that he wouldn’t say who the biggest jerk was. He suggested that they watch all 979 shows.
Some young ladies wanted to ask him advice for an improv group. He said, “The other person on stage is more interesting than you.” and that they should listen more than speak. Doing something is interesting because it’s action, if you feel something people will connect with you, then say something.
Is he Stephen or “Stephen” when he interviews publicly? He’s never usually himself in an interview but not totally the character either because he “doesn’t really work out of context”.
Another person had stumbled across an old Second City performance he’d given called, “Describing a Circle” and asked him what it was about. He said no one had ever asked him about that before and that it was a series of short, one page stories where he acted out all of the parts. One was about Pi.
What was the ‘thing’ that Stephen thanked Bill O’Reilly for not mentioning? “I would be betraying a confidence.”
What makes him nervous (as a performer)? “I’m giving… I can’t tell you. Some live performances still make me nervous.” Like if he had to do a five-minute monologue without any help. He still gets a little nervous before each show, which he considers healthy nerves that drive performers to do well.
I will preface the last question by first stating that it was entirely out of line. A young man asked if he, Jon, and Steve Carell were in a “love circle”. Ten seconds of awkward silence later he continued, “And be honest.” Another bit of silence and Stephen responded, “If it was me, Jon, and Steve it would be a love triangle”. Stephen looked none too comfortable with this. It was a strange moment for everyone involved and I would highly suggest that others not attempt this. If anything, my inclusion of this question is more of a cautionary tale than an enticement to gossip or to encourage such behavior. I certainly hope his children were not present at that moment. We should all remember that Stephen is a family man and respect his privacy.
They wrapped up the show by Stephen stating that if he had one last musical guest (which he hoped never happened) he would want to sing Ben Folds Five, “Best Imitation of Myself”. He proceeded to sing it for us. Lastly, he encouraged everyone to support the MIFF, sighting the film festival in his home city as having a great influence in his path in life and encouraging any community, regardless of size, to make the arts an important feature.
I hope you all enjoyed this fairly long account of the evening. I know there are a lot of stories that many of us may be familiar with already but there were plenty of new surprises along the way too. The trip was unbelievable and a comedy of errors in the best possible way. Thanks for reading!