EPISODE NUMBER: 10067 (February 24, 2014)
GUESTS: Darlene Love | Gideon Rose
SEGMENTS: Intro – 2/24/14 | Blade in the USA – Dutch Coach’s Anti-America Rant | Crisis in the Ukraine | Crisis in the Ukraine – Gideon Rose | Darlene Love | Darlene Love – “He’s a Rebel” | Sign Off – Remembering Harold Ramis
EXCLUSIVE: Darlene Love – “Da Doo Ron Ron”
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Blue Stripped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, February 24, 2014
Tonight’s episode was all kinds of fantastic. Stephen gave a hilarious rebuttal to the Dutch speedskating coach’s anti-American tirade. As the crisis in Ukraine unfolds, Stephen discusses the uprising with the editor of ‘Foreign Affairs’ magazine, Gideon Rose. Stephen gave a beautiful tribute to the late Harold Ramis. It is very touching to see what an impact Mr. Ramis had on Stephen and on so many people who will always cherish his comedic brilliance.
Darlene Love’s appearance is a true gift to the Colbert Nation. Ms. Love is a musical legend with a powerful voice and vivacious personality. She has worked with many icons of the music industry. Her conversation with Stephen was fascinating; especially what she had to say about Sam Cooke. I only wish the interview was longer, because one can imagine the stories that she has. Her performances on tonight’s show were a lot of fun and pure joy to the ears and eyes. (Make sure to check out the web exclusive!)
Intro – 2/24/14
“The Winter Olympics in Sochi have ended, although with NBC’s tape delay, they’re just beginning. Then, is it Ukraine or The Ukraine? I’ll get to The “The Bottom” of it. And my guest, legendary singer, Darlene Love, stars in a documentary called ’20 Feet From Stardom.’ Tonight, she’ll be 16 feet closer. Major League Baseball is eliminating home plate collisions. Apparently, they violate baseball’s long-standing ban on action.”
Blade in the USA – Dutch Coach’s Anti-America Rant
- Unfortunately, for my friends on the US Speedskating Team, 2014 has been a rocky road. Or as they call it, an un-zamboni-ed rink.
- They medaled in only one event and the team is covering their asses by blaming the thing that covered their asses.
- Evidentially, the team’s new suit featured vents on the back of the suit which allowed heat to escape, but allowed air to enter and create drag.
“Everybody knows clothing always creates drag, which is why, to get better mileage, I always drive in the nude.”
- Folks, it’s not enough that we lost. Now, The Netherlands coach, Jillert – I’m gonna go with “Enema” – has attacked our Speedskating Team, adding insult to injury and then adding a**hole to both of those.
Jillert Anama: “Yeah, the suit was one of the reasons, but not because it was bad, but because they believed it was bad … You have to believe in yourself, like Americans always do. Americans always believe that they’re right. Always believe that they are the best. Yeah? But that’s not true … Yeah, you can stay inside, in your own country … Every four years, you come to Olympic stadium and you want to fight the rest of the world. Then you know your place and you got zero medals. Zero, man! Stay in your country. Do your own sport. Don’t compete with the rest of the world, but don’t ask the question why you didn’t win medals. Because you didn’t.”
“Actually, in fact, we did have one medal. I’ve got it right here.”
- I don’t speak a lot of Dutch, but I learned a little for the occasion. “F*** you.” I certainly hope I’m pronouncing that correctly.
- I will be Amsterdam’d if I ever let anything remotely Dutch into my life again.
No! No more!
- I’ve always said that revenge is best served cold on razor sharp blades.
- You can help our speedskaters fight back against Dutch arrogance by making a donation at Colbert Nation. In return you will get this “Blade In The USA” t-shirt.
Crisis in the Ukraine
- Nation, unless you are living under a rock, you’ve probably heard about the massive uprising in Ukraine. And if you are living under a rock, you’re probably ousted Ukrainian President, Viktor Yanukovych.
- The fru-fra all started after Yanukovych rejected a deal with the EU, in favor of closer ties to Russia.
- Now, folks, no one knows where Yanukovych is. But protesters raided his presidential compound to find a private golf course, a fleet of classic cars and a private restaurant shaped like a pirate ship.
- This kind of presidential opulence infuriates me. I mean it makes the White House look like a dump.
“I wish our State Dinners took place in a pirate ship. Then I wouldn’t have been the only one who showed up with a parrot.”
Greg Gutfeld: “Obama is more like a publicist for ‘US Weekly’ than a president. When you put a community organizer up against ex-KGB, this is what happens.”
- Yes, I think I speak for all freedom-loving people when I say, why can’t we be ruled by an ex-KGB officer?
“Obama is like a publicist for ‘US Weekly.’ Even worse, 73% of readers say “Putin Wore It Better.”
Crisis in the Ukraine – Gideon Rose
Stephen: So, the rebels in the streets; what are they fighting for?
Gideon: They’re fighting for a better future.
Stephen: That sounds like a political speech.
Gideon: But it’s actually true. Countries have to develop over time and Ukraine, basically – after the end of the Soviet Union – faced two tracks. It could stay as a stagnant, corrupt, authoritarian country tied to Russia or it could essentially join the West. It could modernize, it could liberalize; become a democracy.
Gideon: When it (Ukraine) looked like it was going to trade up to a better environment; at the last minute, Putin offered a bribe.
Stephen: How much?
Gideon: $15 billion.
Stephen: That’s a lot of cash, man.
Gideon: And the president who, himself, was tied to the old elites and the eastern part of the country, with ties to Russia, decided to back off the change and go join Russia.
Stephen: Do you know how many pirate-themed restaurants you can buy with $15 billion dollars?
Interview – Darlene Love
Stephen: Who was your favorite person to sing back-up for?
Darlene: Sam Cooke.
Stephen: The great Sam Cooke.
Darlene: He was so sweet. He was so nice. He just oozed sex.
Stephen: He was a physically attractive man.
Darlene: Yes. He was fabulous. But he was such a great singer. He knew what he wanted to do. He knew how to come over and – excuse my pun – but pull stuff out of you.
Stephen: Alright. I don’t understand the pun, but it sounds sexy.
Stephen: Phil Spector produced a song of yours, He’s A Rebel. It was like, your first hit. And this is the prototypical “girl falling for a bad boy because he’s kind of bad.” What did you do to American culture, Darlene Love? What did you do to a generation of girls who were looking for bad boys?
Darlene: Well, you know what? It does help if they’re kind of bad. It makes it interesting. You never get bored.
Stephen: Did you have any bad boys?
Darlene: (Laughs) One or two.
Sign Off – Remembering Harold Ramis
- America lost a funny man today with the passing of Harold Ramis.
“Now, I’m not a comedian, but if I was, as a young bookish man with glasses looking for a role model, I might have picked Harold Ramis. Thank you, Harold.”
February 24, 2014 – Darlene Love
EPISODE NUMBER: 10067 (February 24, 2014)
GUESTS: Darlene Love | Gideon Rose
SEGMENTS: Intro – 2/24/14 | Blade in the USA – Dutch Coach’s Anti-America Rant | Crisis in the Ukraine | Crisis in the Ukraine – Gideon Rose | Darlene Love | Darlene Love – “He’s a Rebel” | Sign Off – Remembering Harold Ramis
EXCLUSIVE: Darlene Love – “Da Doo Ron Ron”
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Blue Stripped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, February 24, 2014
Tonight’s episode was all kinds of fantastic. Stephen gave a hilarious rebuttal to the Dutch speedskating coach’s anti-American tirade. As the crisis in Ukraine unfolds, Stephen discusses the uprising with the editor of ‘Foreign Affairs’ magazine, Gideon Rose. Stephen gave a beautiful tribute to the late Harold Ramis. It is very touching to see what an impact Mr. Ramis had on Stephen and on so many people who will always cherish his comedic brilliance.
Darlene Love’s appearance is a true gift to the Colbert Nation. Ms. Love is a musical legend with a powerful voice and vivacious personality. She has worked with many icons of the music industry. Her conversation with Stephen was fascinating; especially what she had to say about Sam Cooke. I only wish the interview was longer, because one can imagine the stories that she has. Her performances on tonight’s show were a lot of fun and pure joy to the ears and eyes. (Make sure to check out the web exclusive!)
Intro – 2/24/14
“The Winter Olympics in Sochi have ended, although with NBC’s tape delay, they’re just beginning. Then, is it Ukraine or The Ukraine? I’ll get to The “The Bottom” of it. And my guest, legendary singer, Darlene Love, stars in a documentary called ’20 Feet From Stardom.’ Tonight, she’ll be 16 feet closer. Major League Baseball is eliminating home plate collisions. Apparently, they violate baseball’s long-standing ban on action.”
Blade in the USA – Dutch Coach’s Anti-America Rant
“Everybody knows clothing always creates drag, which is why, to get better mileage, I always drive in the nude.”
“Actually, in fact, we did have one medal. I’ve got it right here.”
No! No more!
Crisis in the Ukraine
“I wish our State Dinners took place in a pirate ship. Then I wouldn’t have been the only one who showed up with a parrot.”
“Obama is like a publicist for ‘US Weekly.’ Even worse, 73% of readers say “Putin Wore It Better.”
Crisis in the Ukraine – Gideon Rose
Stephen: So, the rebels in the streets; what are they fighting for?
Gideon: They’re fighting for a better future.
Stephen: That sounds like a political speech.
Gideon: But it’s actually true. Countries have to develop over time and Ukraine, basically – after the end of the Soviet Union – faced two tracks. It could stay as a stagnant, corrupt, authoritarian country tied to Russia or it could essentially join the West. It could modernize, it could liberalize; become a democracy.
Gideon: When it (Ukraine) looked like it was going to trade up to a better environment; at the last minute, Putin offered a bribe.
Stephen: How much?
Gideon: $15 billion.
Stephen: That’s a lot of cash, man.
Gideon: And the president who, himself, was tied to the old elites and the eastern part of the country, with ties to Russia, decided to back off the change and go join Russia.
Stephen: Do you know how many pirate-themed restaurants you can buy with $15 billion dollars?
Interview – Darlene Love
Stephen: Who was your favorite person to sing back-up for?
Darlene: Sam Cooke.
Stephen: The great Sam Cooke.
Darlene: He was so sweet. He was so nice. He just oozed sex.
Stephen: He was a physically attractive man.
Darlene: Yes. He was fabulous. But he was such a great singer. He knew what he wanted to do. He knew how to come over and – excuse my pun – but pull stuff out of you.
Stephen: Alright. I don’t understand the pun, but it sounds sexy.
Stephen: Phil Spector produced a song of yours, He’s A Rebel. It was like, your first hit. And this is the prototypical “girl falling for a bad boy because he’s kind of bad.” What did you do to American culture, Darlene Love? What did you do to a generation of girls who were looking for bad boys?
Darlene: Well, you know what? It does help if they’re kind of bad. It makes it interesting. You never get bored.
Stephen: Did you have any bad boys?
Darlene: (Laughs) One or two.
Sign Off – Remembering Harold Ramis
“Now, I’m not a comedian, but if I was, as a young bookish man with glasses looking for a role model, I might have picked Harold Ramis. Thank you, Harold.”