July 17, 2014 — Steven M. Wise

EPISODE NUMBER: 10129 (July 17, 2014)
GUESTS: Steven M. Wise
SEGMENTS: Malaysian Airlines Crash & Hamas-Israel Violence | Questionable Compassion for Child Immigrants | Coal Rolling | Steven Wise | Sign Off – Soot Blast
SUIT REPORT: Dark Pin Stripped Suit | White Shirt | Navy Patterned Tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, July 17, 2014

Malaysia Airlines Crash & Hamas-Israel Violence

  • Before we get started I just want to address a horrible tragedy in The Ukraine. Earlier today a Malaysian Airlines flight carrying 295 passengers and crew crashed, apparently brought down by a missile. It’s an unthinkable loss and our thoughts and prayers are with everyone affected by this senseless act.
  • And there’s more trouble in the Middle East where after ten days of trading missile launches, earlier today there was brief talk of a cease fire between Israel and Hamas. But that broke down as both sides could agree on the fire part, not so much the cease.
  • And now Israel has sent ground troops into Gaza. This may sound familiar, but this is different than the last Gaza war, in that it is happening now.
  • And for those who don’t know, I tape this show earlier in the evening, so we don’t have a lot of information on these stories. But we will have complete coverage of both of these stories on tomorrow night’s show.
  • I’m being told we do not have a show on Friday nights.

Oh, thank God. Those are really depressing. Those are really depressing stories.

Questionable Compassion for Child Immigrants

  • So, let’s turn to a lighter story: child refugees.

Sadly, folks, these kids continue to stream over the border despite our clearly marked “You must be this tall to enter the country” sign.

  • This is a clear humanitarian crisis. I want to be clear about something here. I am a human. I’m not a monster. I care for these kids so very publicly.
  • I am not the only one wearing my heart on my TV sleeve.

Bill O’Reily: “I feel bad and, as I said, if I were in South and Central America and Mexico, I’d try to get here. It’s not the immigrants fault.” Louie Gohmert: “I’m broken hearted.” Dr. David Samadi: “We all really feel bad for these kids.”

Laura Ingraham: “I’ve been in Central America many times. I have a Guatemalan daughter; now an American citizen. I speak Spanish. I love the Latin American people.”

I too have a deep love for the Latin American people. I mean, these kids aren’t just invading our country. They’re invading … in here.

  • And with our hearts full of love for the Latin American people, it’s clear what we must do.

Prepare yourself for a sad hypocritical statement, from a woman who just said she has an adopted daughter from Guatemala.

Laura Ingraham: “First thing you do is start deporting people. Not by the hundreds. Not by the dozens. By the thousands.”

  • It’s … uh … It’s a tough love. Or a very soft hate.
  • But, folks, the worst part of this crisis is where the Obama Administration has decided to send some of these illegal children.

Fox talking heads: “A very disturbing report about how the federal government is actually spending millions of your hard earned tax dollars to house illegal immigrants in a Texas hotel.” “Plans to put illegals up inside a multi-million dollar resort hotel and we’re paying for it.” “It’s got three pools, a tennis court, jacuzzi, wifi. Was that an appropriate proposal, do you think to try and house some of these kids?” “Absolutely not.”

  • I agree! Oh, let’s all pay for Pablo’s continental breakfast!

I bet every night they leave a mint, a green card and immigration papers folded into a swan.

  • This is gonna shock you. Just listen to these actual reviews of the Palm Aire Resort from TripAdvisor.

“One star. Terrible hotel. … mold and musty, sunken couch … broken handle on shower … stained sheets …” “The pool was green …” “This is the worst hotel I ever stayed in.” “I discovered large cockroaches right as I entered the room .”

  • That’s right, they’re even giving the kids pets. [Shows graphic of cockroach. Then Stephen does a very quick rendition of ‘La Cucaracha.’]
  • Thank God that patriots all over the country have taken to the streets to protest these rabid plagued children, being spread by Obama like festering stool samples across the petri dish of America.
  • One such patriot is Arizona republican congressional candidate and human stubble farm, Adam Kwasman, who showed up with cameras to blockage buses of illegal immigrants out of pure video taped concern for their well-being.

“Republican Adam Kwasman was in Oracle this morning to protest the busing of minors to the to the shelter.”

Adam Kwasman: “I was able to actually see some of the children in the buses and the fear on their faces. This

“Just one problem. Those weren’t migrant children on the yellow school bus. They were YMCA campers from the Marana School District.”

Reporter: “Did you know it was a bus with YMCA kids?” Adam Kwasman: “They were sad, too. Ok, I apologize.”

  • Do not apologize! Stand strong! I for one never trust campers. Think about it. They’re sent to remote locations, where they are trained to use deadly weapons [Shows graphic of campers practicing archery], so they can capture our flags [Shows graphic of campers playing Capture the Flag]. Vigilance!!

Coal Rolling

“If you see a truck in front of you belching out clouds of thick black smoke, it could be trouble or it could be a new trend called “Rollin’ Coal”. […] Drivers are paying thousands of dollars so they can shoot black smoke at other people on the road.”

  • For too long those earth-huggers have shoved their agenda down our throats. Finally there’s a way to shove our agenda down their lungs.

“Some say they roll coal because it’s fun, but many of those who are doing it are making a political statement – either thumbing their noses at the Obama administration’s effort to lower carbon emissions or just plain flipping off environmentalists.”

  • “Coal Rollin’” is the best new way to stick it to Mother Earth since “Paint Cannin’” – where you dump old paint into the river. Or “Porpoise Corkin’” – where you hammer corks into the blowholes of dolphins.

Interview – Steven M. Wise