EPISODE NUMBER: 10134 (July 28, 2014)
GUESTS: Beck
SEGMENTS: Magical Afternoon at Comic-Con | The Word – See No Equal | Kim Kardashian’s “Hollywood” App | Beck | Beck – “Heart is a Drum”
WEB EXCLUSIVE: Beck – “Heaven’s Ladder”
SUIT REPORT: Black Striped Suit | Light Blue-Gray Shirt | Blue-Gray Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, July 28, 2014
Stephen is blasted by a thunderous roar from the lusty audience upon announcing his new Kardashian-inspired iPhone game.
Hi Fellow E-Listers! How is E-listing going for you guys today? Tonight’s episode was a fun romp through Stephen’s adventure at Comic-Con, Daniel Radcliffe’s intimate relationship with Americone Dream, and a ridiculous new iPhone game by Kim Kardashian, which purports to lift you from your drab, ordinary life and elevate you to the virtual A-list. For a small fee.
We also had a fabulous Word going back to what I like to think of as one of the “real” Stephen’s core messages on TCR, addressing inequality. I loved when he “quoted” the Bible verse using the camel and the eye of needle analogy. When the show is over I will miss when him twisting the Bible to suit the character’s ideology. I guess I’ll have to tune into Fox News for that. Or Pat Robertson. Zing!
Gotta love Beck. I’ll always remember that his music was featured on the last episode of Strangers With Candy. I am also impressed with how good Stephen is getting at interviewing musicians. It is unusual that he interviews them to begin with, and I always find the responses Stephen elicits from his musician subjects intriguing. (The only person who really seemed to hate being interviewed was Jack White, but he’s Jack White.) Beck’s new album sounds fancy.
What did you think of the ep? Let us know in the comments.
Stephen touts his “media empire,” and his great time moderating a Hobbit panel at Comic Con.
- While I am primarily a pundit and newsman, my media empire extends all throughout the entertainment industry. But even media moguls like me got to stay connected to the fans. And there’s no better place to do that than at this weekend’s San Diego Comic Con where every conceivable sci-fi, tv show, movie or book is shaking its little moneymaker for at least 130,000 rabid attendees.
Stephen: How are you doing, Comic Con!!!
Crowd: Stephen, Stephen, Stephen!
Stephen: If I could only go backin time and show this to my 13-year-old self.
- Yes, I hosted The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies, the panel. And everybody in the cast was there, it was a magical afternoon.
- [Comic Con] is an orgy of people who will probably not be invited to the orgy.
Reporter: What is your ideal post-sex food?
Daniel Radcliffe: Probably just based on – I guess like ice cream.
Reporter: Ice cream, really?
Radcliffe: Americone Dream. Yeah.
Reporter: That’s a good flavor. Stephen Colbert’s flavor, right.
- You heard him! Harry Potter reaches for me after dumble-doing it.
- And I’m not surprised, ice cream is the official snack of just having had sex – or giving up on it entirely.
- Here’s my beef with D-Rads. Daniel, you’re not supposed to eat my ice cream after sex. You’re supposed to eat it during sex. That’s what the waffle pieces are for. They are ribbed for your pleasure.
“But just a warning: do not try this with Jimmy Fallon’s flavor, ‘Late Night Clap.’”
Set up for The Word
- Being rich is fantastic, it is wonderful. It is garglegadong, which is a word describing the pleasure of wealth which cannot be translated into poor talk.
- The problem is sometimes when I’m richin’ around town I will accidentally catch a glimpse of a non-rich person. Then I get a funny feeling in my heart.
- Fortunately, the free market has found the way to make the 1% feel 99% better, and it brings me to tonight’s Word.
“Apparently, I have an allergy to non-wealthy people called empathy. My doctor said there may never be a cure because it’s not a disease. Please, give generously.”
- All too often, we superwealthy find ourselves coming in contact with the money disabled. But soon, soon we could all be saved that unpleasantness thanks to the example set by a new apartment complex here in New York City.
“The building will have 219 units overlooking the waterfront and 55 affordable units that face the street. The idea, sparking backlash because it requires affordable living tenants to enter the building using a separate door through a back alley.”
- Yes, a poor door. Because if I don’t see something I don’t want to know about, it doesn’t exist, and that makes me happy. [Why Stevie Wonder is Always Smiling]
- It’s just like the old saying, “Out of sight, out of sight.” [And out of spite!]
- Yes, they get to live in a new building in a new neighborhood. What else do they want, dignity? Now who’s greedy? [For Answer: Send $5!]
- I believe just one poor door is not enough. Because if i’m paying over $25 million for a penthouse apartment, Why should I have to be stuck in an elevator with whatever vagrant is dwelling in the 15 million dollar hovel one floor beneath me? Under 20 million dollars? What is this, Bangladesh? [Or worse, Queens?]
- Poor doors are just the latest in a trend that helps us have’s not have to see the have nots. We haves get skyboxes instead of bleachers, personal shoppers instead of going to a store, and an airport’s first class has its own TSA lane. [Pat down with full release.] I mean, even the happiest place on earth is happier for us because we can pay up to an extra $500 an hour to skip to the front of lines at Disney World. Even better, we get to meet Snow White’s Top Secret 8th Dwarf. [“Upper Crusty.”]
- Occasionally I still run into average people like my chauffeur, or my chef. [Or toothpaste sommelier.] I just say what is the point of being rich if you can’t be left alone with your money. [Me, myself, and I.R.A.] That’s all we ask.
- There must be a simple way to get away from average people. I don’t need a penthouse. I would settle for something small and luxurious. Maybe a tiny silk-lined apartment with a pillow to lay my head on. Just room for one, carved on a single piece of mahogany with brass handles for six of my servants to carry me to my country place. It’s not a big piece of land, but at least it’s in a gated community. And that’s The Word.
- Folks, there was once was a time where to become famous you had to rise above your peers in a given field. Whether it was acting or jumping or owning a large pair of pants. But these days fame is finally democratized. Just look at Kim Kardashian. I am a huge fan of whatever it is she does. (laughter) She has proven that becoming a celebrity can be a skill all of its own. And now the tragically fame-deficient can get a taste of her superstardom at America’s most exclusive boutique, the App Store.
- All the hard work you’re putting in is just as real as the fame you’re achieving.
- She might get to take some time off from ….again, I do not know what she does.
- Folks, seeing average Americans throw away millions on a celebrity iPhone game is disturbing, because I am not that celebrity.
Is it sad that I would totally buy this game?
- Well that ends tonight. I’m proud to introduce my app, “Stephen Colbert, I’d tap that!” the game begins (cheers and applause) when your avatar meets world famous celebrity Stephen Colbert, and I greet with you my famous catch-phrase, “give me $5.” And unlike Kim’s game, you have options. You can give me $5, or you can give me $10. That skips you right to C-list friend level where you have the chance to give me $20. So folks, download now and start tapping your money my way. I need it. I’m just a few dollars shortof the silver shutter shades I need to get invited to Kim’s Miami beach house. (to Kim’s image) Please notice me. Please! We’ll be right back. Please notice me!
Stephen: if somebody met you for the first time, didn’t know your music and said “so you are a musician, what is your music like?”
Beck: Kind of how you described it, i think.
Stephen: Neo low-fi rave funk.
Beck: Yeah. Jungle dub coolout lounge banjo, as well.
Stephen: Cool out lounge banjo.
Beck: A lot of hyphens.
Stephen: Your last project, Song Reader, was just sheet music. You didn’t record it.
Beck: That’s right.
Stephen: okay. Why did– why did you do that? Were a lot of fans coming up to you saying “I love your music, I just hate you playing it”?
Beck: I got tired of me playing it.
Stephen: Do you ever feel any pressure when you’ve written something you think is good, that you might screw it up when you record it?
Beck: I think that all the time.
Stephen: This latest album, I heard 2 of the songs you will be doing tonight. It’s softer, more contemplative. Why Beck sad? Is Beck sad?
Beck: I just need a hug.
July 28, 2014 — Beck
EPISODE NUMBER: 10134 (July 28, 2014)
GUESTS: Beck
SEGMENTS: Magical Afternoon at Comic-Con | The Word – See No Equal | Kim Kardashian’s “Hollywood” App | Beck | Beck – “Heart is a Drum”
WEB EXCLUSIVE: Beck – “Heaven’s Ladder”
SUIT REPORT: Black Striped Suit | Light Blue-Gray Shirt | Blue-Gray Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, July 28, 2014
Stephen is blasted by a thunderous roar from the lusty audience upon announcing his new Kardashian-inspired iPhone game.
Hi Fellow E-Listers! How is E-listing going for you guys today? Tonight’s episode was a fun romp through Stephen’s adventure at Comic-Con, Daniel Radcliffe’s intimate relationship with Americone Dream, and a ridiculous new iPhone game by Kim Kardashian, which purports to lift you from your drab, ordinary life and elevate you to the virtual A-list. For a small fee.
We also had a fabulous Word going back to what I like to think of as one of the “real” Stephen’s core messages on TCR, addressing inequality. I loved when he “quoted” the Bible verse using the camel and the eye of needle analogy. When the show is over I will miss when him twisting the Bible to suit the character’s ideology. I guess I’ll have to tune into Fox News for that. Or Pat Robertson. Zing!
Gotta love Beck. I’ll always remember that his music was featured on the last episode of Strangers With Candy. I am also impressed with how good Stephen is getting at interviewing musicians. It is unusual that he interviews them to begin with, and I always find the responses Stephen elicits from his musician subjects intriguing. (The only person who really seemed to hate being interviewed was Jack White, but he’s Jack White.) Beck’s new album sounds fancy.
What did you think of the ep? Let us know in the comments.
Stephen touts his “media empire,” and his great time moderating a Hobbit panel at Comic Con.
“But just a warning: do not try this with Jimmy Fallon’s flavor, ‘Late Night Clap.’”
Set up for The Word
“Apparently, I have an allergy to non-wealthy people called empathy. My doctor said there may never be a cure because it’s not a disease. Please, give generously.”
Is it sad that I would totally buy this game?
Stephen: if somebody met you for the first time, didn’t know your music and said “so you are a musician, what is your music like?”
Beck: Kind of how you described it, i think.
Stephen: Neo low-fi rave funk.
Beck: Yeah. Jungle dub coolout lounge banjo, as well.
Stephen: Cool out lounge banjo.
Beck: A lot of hyphens.
Stephen: Your last project, Song Reader, was just sheet music. You didn’t record it.
Beck: That’s right.
Stephen: okay. Why did– why did you do that? Were a lot of fans coming up to you saying “I love your music, I just hate you playing it”?
Beck: I got tired of me playing it.
Stephen: Do you ever feel any pressure when you’ve written something you think is good, that you might screw it up when you record it?
Beck: I think that all the time.
Stephen: This latest album, I heard 2 of the songs you will be doing tonight. It’s softer, more contemplative. Why Beck sad? Is Beck sad?
Beck: I just need a hug.