EPISODE NUMBER: 10136 (July 30, 2014)
GUESTS: James Franco | Allan Sloan
SEGMENTS: Orlando Bloom’s Altercation with Justin Bieber | Corporate Inversions |Corporate Inversions – Allan Sloan | Naked TV | James Franco | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White and Grey Checked Shirt | Dark Grey Patterned Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Orlando Bloom’s Altercation With Justin Bieber
- Folks, you if you watch the news, you know that conflicts continue to rage all around the world and tonight I am sad to report yet another international dispute that has erupted in senseless violence.
[Showing footage of the incident] “That’s actor, Orlando Bloom arguing with pop star, Justin Bieber over night at a restaurant in Ibiza, Spain. A club-goer telling TMZ that Bloom had thrown a punch at Bieber.”
- Yes, early reports indicate that Justin Bieber had his first hit in years.
- The roots of this conflict are, of course, Byzantine and ancient.
- In 2012, Bloom was married to Australian model, Miranda Kerr. Collectively, they were known as Morlando Blur.
- Then in November of 2012 Miranda Kerr, who has long been suspected of being a radical “Belieber” was seen with Justin after a Victoria’s Secret fashion show.
From the looks of this picture she was either canoodling with or babysitting him.
- Not long after the Mustin Keebler alliance, Morlando Blur broke up.
- At the time, Bieber had his own bilateral relationship with Disney hatchling, Selena Gomez. Their couple name, I believe, was Jelusty Gobbler.
In April of 2014, Orlando Bloom established close ties with Selena Gomez, seen here apparently, after his mom said he had to take her to see ‘Frozen’ again.
- Tensions were, of course, running high when late last night in the no-man’s land of Ibiza, Justin Bieber crossed into hostile territory by “…walking passed Bloom’s table…”
- Bloom deployed defensive measures when he refused to shake Bieber’s hand.
- Traumatized witnesses report that Bieber then launched a short range ballistic “She was good.” So, Bloom threw a punch at him.
- Now, as a journalist, it’s my job to report atrocities like this, but to be clear, I do not condone this type of violence, because Bloom missed Bieber’s face.
- A defiant Bieber then released the statement, “What’s up, bitch?” and fled the restaurant.
Corporate Inversions
- I just hope that America’s corporations cannot hear the attacks coming from the CEO of socialism.
President Obama: “There’s a small, but growing group of big corporations that are fleeing the country to get out of paying taxes … They’re not actually going anywhere. They’re keeping most of their business here … They’re technically renouncing their US citizenship. They’re declaring their base some place else, even though most of their operations are here. You know, some people are calling these companies ‘corporate deserters.’”
- Corporate deserters? So they like dessert. He’s not only attacking corporate profits, now he’s fat shaming!
Folks, what this skinny bitch is talking about is a hot new business innovation known as inversion …
- …Where to escape America’s brutal corporate tax rate, companies renounce their US citizenship by buying a foreign subsidiary company and then declaring that its US operations are owned by its new foreign subsidiary, not the other way around.
- It’s like me adopting an African child, then claiming myself as his dependent. “I love you, daddy.”
- The strategy is called inversion because afterward the CEOs celebrate by paying no taxes with keg stands.
- Folks, inversion is all the rage these days. For instance, America’s Chiquita Corporation has decided to be owned by Fyffes, a much smaller fruit distributer from well know banana producer, Ireland.
That’s why bananas start out green. I believe they are leprechaun penises. It’s what I believe.
- And folks, corporations have clear duty to invert.
Fox Business: “They owe it to their shareholders to get the biggest profits possible. There is nothing wrong with it.” “Inversions are legal. Simple as that.”
- Yes, and if something is legal you should always do it. That’s why I’m going to Japan on my next vacation to hunt dolphins! “I’m coming to get you! Yes I am!”
Corporate Inversions – Allan Sloan
Stephen: Ok, you call this “Positively Un-American.” Why Un-American? These companies are still patriotic. Because whether they’re paying taxes or not in the United States, I’m sure they’ll still use all their corporate money to help elect officials who approve of their behavior.
Allan: That’s very touching. But we have this idea – or I have this idea – that to be American, you should act like a citizen. You shouldn’t just take stuff from the county – which these companies have done – then decide you don’t want to pay for it, but by the way, we’re actually all gonna stay here. We’ll just pay a lot less then we used to or maybe nothing, but we’ll have all the benefits of being here. In the last presidential election people talk about “makers and takers” but I guess being a “taker” is okay if you have the right set of lawyers and cannot pay taxes in the United States.
Naked TV
- Nation, they say that we are living in a new golden age of television, from the cinematic production values of Game of Thrones to the powerful portrayals on Madmen to ABC’s gritty look inside white slavery rings on The Bachelor.
- But the hottest trend is nudity on reality TV.
- Like Discovery’s Naked and Afraid, which perfectly describes the way I watch it.
- Being naked pushes participants to truly open up about how naked they are.
“Being naked on this challenge is not a problem. I’m comfortable in my own skin. My biggest concern is that I burn easy and I don’t want my personal private parts to get fried and burned.”
- Sadly, later in the same episode his personal private parts suffered a severe blurring.
- Then there’s VH1’s Dating Naked, which I also believe was the original title of Girls.
- Dating Naked takes the traditional dating show format and asks the eternal question: Is there anything that could get people to watch VH1? The answer: boobies!
‘Dating Naked’ female contestant: “I felt an instant connection with him and I think he felt it too.”
She thinks so. She’s not sure. If only there was some way a naked man could indicate he was interested in a woman.
- Because naked TV is such a huge hit I believe it’s only a matter of time until all TV is naked.
Personally, I look forward to Ice Road Naked, Naked Cosmos and Fox Nude Sunday.
Interview – James Franco
James: I teach at UNC and UCLA and Cal Arts already so there’s not much more teaching I can kind of manage. What do you teach?
Stephen: What do I teach? I teach The Nation.
[Audiences erupts and chants: “Stephen! Stephen! Stephen!”]
James: I have a very good life and get to do whatever I want.
Stephen: You are everywhere. Sometimes you are places and you don’t even know it. Let me show you my Christmas card this year.
It’s a photo we took of my family in Venice. Thought it would be a nice Christmas card.
After we printed them, we realized this. Zoom in. That’s Franco on an ad in the background. You’re the Franco that stole Christmas!
James: I will see you on the new show.
Stephen: What?
James: Are you going to go Democrat when you go to this new show?
Stephen: Now here’s the interesting thing, I don’t know what the f*** you’re talking about.
July 30, 2014 — James Franco
GUESTS: James Franco | Allan Sloan
SEGMENTS: Orlando Bloom’s Altercation with Justin Bieber | Corporate Inversions |Corporate Inversions – Allan Sloan | Naked TV | James Franco | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White and Grey Checked Shirt | Dark Grey Patterned Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Orlando Bloom’s Altercation With Justin Bieber
From the looks of this picture she was either canoodling with or babysitting him.
In April of 2014, Orlando Bloom established close ties with Selena Gomez, seen here apparently, after his mom said he had to take her to see ‘Frozen’ again.
Corporate Inversions
Folks, what this skinny bitch is talking about is a hot new business innovation known as inversion …
That’s why bananas start out green. I believe they are leprechaun penises. It’s what I believe.
Corporate Inversions – Allan Sloan
Stephen: Ok, you call this “Positively Un-American.” Why Un-American? These companies are still patriotic. Because whether they’re paying taxes or not in the United States, I’m sure they’ll still use all their corporate money to help elect officials who approve of their behavior.
Allan: That’s very touching. But we have this idea – or I have this idea – that to be American, you should act like a citizen. You shouldn’t just take stuff from the county – which these companies have done – then decide you don’t want to pay for it, but by the way, we’re actually all gonna stay here. We’ll just pay a lot less then we used to or maybe nothing, but we’ll have all the benefits of being here. In the last presidential election people talk about “makers and takers” but I guess being a “taker” is okay if you have the right set of lawyers and cannot pay taxes in the United States.
Naked TV
She thinks so. She’s not sure. If only there was some way a naked man could indicate he was interested in a woman.
Personally, I look forward to Ice Road Naked, Naked Cosmos and Fox Nude Sunday.
Interview – James Franco
James: I teach at UNC and UCLA and Cal Arts already so there’s not much more teaching I can kind of manage. What do you teach?
Stephen: What do I teach? I teach The Nation.
[Audiences erupts and chants: “Stephen! Stephen! Stephen!”]
James: I have a very good life and get to do whatever I want.
Stephen: You are everywhere. Sometimes you are places and you don’t even know it. Let me show you my Christmas card this year.
It’s a photo we took of my family in Venice. Thought it would be a nice Christmas card.
After we printed them, we realized this. Zoom in. That’s Franco on an ad in the background. You’re the Franco that stole Christmas!
James: I will see you on the new show.
Stephen: What?
James: Are you going to go Democrat when you go to this new show?
Stephen: Now here’s the interesting thing, I don’t know what the f*** you’re talking about.