EPISODE NUMBER: 10113 (June 5, 2014)
GUESTS: Chrissie Hynde
SEGMENTS: Intro – 6/5/14 | Bergdghazi | Sport Report: Mushroom Sports Drink, NFL Pill Pushers & Rio De Janeiro’s Olympic Problems | Matt Drudge on Hillary Clinton’s “Walker” | Chrissie Hynde | “Dark Sunglasses”
EXCLUSIVE: Chrissie Hynde – “House of Cards”
SUIT REPORT: Pinstripe Grey Suit | White Shirt | Light Blue Tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, June 5, 2014
Intro – 6/5/14
Tonight, Controversy rocks Football. Turns out some of the players in the Puppy Bowl were fixed. Then, a new Obama scandal.This time he traded five Taliban members for some string cheese and a pudding pack, and my guest rock legend Chrissie Hynde has a new album out called “Stockholm”. I won’t like it at first, but then I’ll learn to love and identify with it. A study found smoking marijuana can make men infertile. So remember, if you’re going to have unprotected sex, get high first.
Bergdghazi
The release of Bowe Bergdahl is whipping up into a big story. Of course, because Obama did something, Republicans don’t like it.
- It’s a scandal some are calling, “Bergdghazi”. So far, just me but it’s gonna catch on.
Anderson Cooper: Shortly before he walked off his base, he wrote to his parents about his disillusionment with the military and his mission in Afghanistan.
- You hear that? The guy had grown disillusioned with the war in Afghanistan and there’s only one word for that, 82% of Americans.
Every pundit took the opportunity to try to find as much fault with Bergdahl as they could including his ballet lessons from long ago.
Dr Idiot, wait, did I write that out-loud? I meant to say Dr. Ablow of Fox News, thinks Bergdahl is narcissistic or needing to go full throttle, or something like that, I don’t know and neither does he.
Then they start talking about Bergdahl’s dad.
Eric Bolling: The father with the beard.
- Dad beard, dad beard! Bad dad, Baghdad? Coincidence that it’s a different country? Methinks he doth beard too much.
Sport Report: Mushroom Sports Drink, NFL Pill Pushers & Rio De Janeiro’s Olympic Problems
Scientists in North Korea have developed a sports drink that has mushroom fungus in it. MMMMMM!! Yummy!
- Yes, North Korea has developed a mushroom based sports drink, which brings me to my first ever edition of the Sport Report’s Spore Report, where athletes and fungus come together and for once, not in their jocks.
The DPRK has said that the sports drink will enhance the ability of their “sportspersons”. I guess that means athletes.
- Need more proof that North Korea is shi-taking this mushroom program seriously? Look at this photo of Kim Jong Un. It’s hard to tell where the mushrooms end and his haircut begins.
Over in the NFL, players have been claiming they have been drugged illegally by the league.
- Not only did they have Percodan, Percocet and Vicodin, but also Ambien. So if you’ve ever thought the Jets looked like they were asleep out there, you’re right. (audience cheers) Huge fans of the Jets or narcotics out here tonight.
Stephen is disappointed that his beloved 1985 Chicago Bears were part of the lawsuit, because they did “The SuperBowl Shuffle” back then.
- How could you sue the NFL? You gave your word you weren’t here to start no trouble.
Then the Rio Olympics in 2016 is failing miserably with 2 years to go. It’s not going well. One official said it’s the worst he’s seen in 40 years.
- That’s really saying something, because there are still some Olympians trapped in their Sochi hotel bathrooms.
In the river where the sailing will take place, there was found a partly submerged sofa and four human corpses.
- Four human corpses? That’s bad because the sofa only holds three.
Matt Drudge on Hillary Clinton’s “Walker”
The title of this one pretty much says it all. Oh those right wing pundits…yeah. They think she’s old.
Karl Rove: She’ll be 69 when the 2016 election is going on and she’ll be 77 if she serves two terms.
- Hmm, let me check the math there. Okay, so I have 69 straws in one hand and let me get 8 more straws, yeah. That really feels like I’m grasping at a lot of straws.
Hillary posed for a photo on the cover of People magazine and in it, she is leaning up against something that every right wing pundit is claiming is a walker. It does actually kinda look like a walker but her camp is saying it is a patio chair.
- Right next to it, on the cover is an announcement that Alice from The Brady Bunch died. Coincidence? Or did Hillary Clinton beat her to death…with her walker? (cue Col-brow music and Col-brow dance)
- I don’t know why Clinton sat for these geriatric photos. She should follow Reagan’s example and only pose for youthful shots, like this one.
-Colbert Report Facebook Page
Interview – Chrissie Hynde
Stephen: Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame, was that a huge deal for you to get in there?
Chrissie: I guess.
Stephen: That’s very rock ‘n roll of you to react that way.
It does seem like most of the artists who get into the RnR hall of fame don’t care much about it.
Stephen: You’re from Akron, Ohio. We’ve had on Devo, from Akron and the Black Keys, also from Akron. What is it about Akron that makes people rock so hard?
Chrissie: Well we’re the rubber capital of the world.
Stephen: Is it the fumes?
Chrissie: We also had the Quaker Oats silos, so we had the best of both.
Stephen: So, you’re very regular.
Chrissie: Are you trying to flirt with me?
Stephen: A little bit.
That was cute, albeit kind of an odd question at that moment. Maybe she was trying to be funny. Then later in the interview, she said this:
Chrissie: Do you come onto all of your guests like this?
Stephen: Not all of them show this much skin. Just you and Michael Stipe.
Chrissie Hynde – “Dark Sunglasses”
Normally there’s not a whole lot to transcribe of a singing performance, however, during the intro there was this:
Stephen: And now a native of the 17th state in the Union…
Then right before she started singing she said, “it’s the thirteenth.”
I didn’t know Ohio was among the 13 original states?? So according to Wikipedia, it was indeed the 17th state admitted to the Union and it was not one of the 13 colonies, so this is interesting.
Exclusive – Chrissie Hynde – “House of Cards” (Uncensored)
AHA!! Cleared up! I had a feeling Stephen knew that when in the interview she said Ohio was one of the 13 original states that was wrong so he looked it up and introduced her as a native of the 17th state.
Here is his intro of her for the exclusive web-only performance:
Hello everyone on the internet watching this, you lucky people, because there’s gonna be another song right now, from a woman who doesn’t even live in the f***ing United States anymore, so what would she know about what state Ohio was in the Union, she lives in London. Chrissie Hynde, Stockholm!”
I’m guessing they had a conversation in between the two song performances.
By the way, as I am sure you all know, this was not the theme to ‘House of Cards’. Now that would’ve been weird.
June 5, 2014 – Chrissie Hynde
GUESTS: Chrissie Hynde
SEGMENTS: Intro – 6/5/14 | Bergdghazi | Sport Report: Mushroom Sports Drink, NFL Pill Pushers & Rio De Janeiro’s Olympic Problems | Matt Drudge on Hillary Clinton’s “Walker” | Chrissie Hynde | “Dark Sunglasses”
EXCLUSIVE: Chrissie Hynde – “House of Cards”
SUIT REPORT: Pinstripe Grey Suit | White Shirt | Light Blue Tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, June 5, 2014
Intro – 6/5/14
Bergdghazi
The release of Bowe Bergdahl is whipping up into a big story. Of course, because Obama did something, Republicans don’t like it.
Every pundit took the opportunity to try to find as much fault with Bergdahl as they could including his ballet lessons from long ago.
Dr Idiot, wait, did I write that out-loud? I meant to say Dr. Ablow of Fox News, thinks Bergdahl is narcissistic or needing to go full throttle, or something like that, I don’t know and neither does he.
Then they start talking about Bergdahl’s dad.
Eric Bolling: The father with the beard.
Sport Report: Mushroom Sports Drink, NFL Pill Pushers & Rio De Janeiro’s Olympic Problems
Scientists in North Korea have developed a sports drink that has mushroom fungus in it. MMMMMM!! Yummy!
The DPRK has said that the sports drink will enhance the ability of their “sportspersons”. I guess that means athletes.
Over in the NFL, players have been claiming they have been drugged illegally by the league.
Stephen is disappointed that his beloved 1985 Chicago Bears were part of the lawsuit, because they did “The SuperBowl Shuffle” back then.
Then the Rio Olympics in 2016 is failing miserably with 2 years to go. It’s not going well. One official said it’s the worst he’s seen in 40 years.
In the river where the sailing will take place, there was found a partly submerged sofa and four human corpses.
Matt Drudge on Hillary Clinton’s “Walker”
The title of this one pretty much says it all. Oh those right wing pundits…yeah. They think she’s old.
Hillary posed for a photo on the cover of People magazine and in it, she is leaning up against something that every right wing pundit is claiming is a walker. It does actually kinda look like a walker but her camp is saying it is a patio chair.
-Colbert Report Facebook Page
Interview – Chrissie Hynde
Stephen: Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame, was that a huge deal for you to get in there?
Chrissie: I guess.
Stephen: That’s very rock ‘n roll of you to react that way.
It does seem like most of the artists who get into the RnR hall of fame don’t care much about it.
Stephen: You’re from Akron, Ohio. We’ve had on Devo, from Akron and the Black Keys, also from Akron. What is it about Akron that makes people rock so hard?
Chrissie: Well we’re the rubber capital of the world.
Stephen: Is it the fumes?
Chrissie: We also had the Quaker Oats silos, so we had the best of both.
Stephen: So, you’re very regular.
Chrissie: Are you trying to flirt with me?
Stephen: A little bit.
That was cute, albeit kind of an odd question at that moment. Maybe she was trying to be funny. Then later in the interview, she said this:
Chrissie: Do you come onto all of your guests like this?
Stephen: Not all of them show this much skin. Just you and Michael Stipe.
Chrissie Hynde – “Dark Sunglasses”
Normally there’s not a whole lot to transcribe of a singing performance, however, during the intro there was this:
Stephen: And now a native of the 17th state in the Union…
Then right before she started singing she said, “it’s the thirteenth.”
I didn’t know Ohio was among the 13 original states?? So according to Wikipedia, it was indeed the 17th state admitted to the Union and it was not one of the 13 colonies, so this is interesting.
Exclusive – Chrissie Hynde – “House of Cards” (Uncensored)
AHA!! Cleared up! I had a feeling Stephen knew that when in the interview she said Ohio was one of the 13 original states that was wrong so he looked it up and introduced her as a native of the 17th state.
Here is his intro of her for the exclusive web-only performance:
I’m guessing they had a conversation in between the two song performances.
By the way, as I am sure you all know, this was not the theme to ‘House of Cards’. Now that would’ve been weird.