EPISODE NUMBER: 8108 (June 7, 2012)
GUESTS: Regina Spektor
EXCLUSIVE: “Ballad of a Politician”
SEGMENTS: Corruption on Pakistan’s “Sesame Street” | The New York Times’ Hit Job on Mitt Romney’s Home | A Teacup Pig’s Partisan Politics | Regina Spektor – “Small Town Moon” | Sign Off – Colbert Super PAC – Super Fun Pack Treasure Hunt Hint
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Light blue tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, June 7, 2012
Intro
Tonight, has America become too partisan? Or is that just what the other side wants you to believe? And, our relationship with Pakistan is on the rocks. Though, pretty much everything in Pakistan is on rocks. And my guest, singer, Regina Spektor, has a new album called What We Saw From the Cheap Seats. I’ll tell her what I saw from the sky box.
Scientists say dinosaurs were skinnier than what we think. Well, the ones at museum certainly are nothing but bone.
Thank you… mindless zombies. Welcome to The Report. Thank you for joining us.
Corruption on Pakistan’s “Sesame Street”
Nation, you know we have a complicated relationship with Pakistan. It’s sort of a love/hate relationship. They love to hate us and we hate that we have to love them.
Still, they’re a valuable ally in the global war on terror. That’s why I was so upset to hear about the end of a crucial national security operation going on in the heart of Islamabad.
Twenty million dollars of corruption on Sesame Street! I believe congress needs to hold hearings and ask some tough questions: what Elmo know and when Elmo know it.
And, folks, this show called Sim Sim Hamara has already been in production in Pakistan for a year and was created with a grant from the United States Agency for International Development with the goal of improving education and increasing tolerance.
It was our most successful deployment of the puppet in the region since Hamid Karzai. But- Very lifelike, very lifelike.
But an investigation of corruption has been launched thanks to a tip to a State Department telephone hotline. Although it did take a long time for that hotline to get answered.
Now, according, according to Pakistani press reports, the corrupt puppeteers or corrupteteers behind Sim Sim Hamara were using US money to pay off old debts and awarding lucrative contracts to relatives.And that’s not all folks. The Report has obtained this exclusive undercover footage of the corruption in action.
We caught Elmo red handed! Folks, that guy is bad news! Not only has he been linked to state sponsored terrorism, he’s also been linked to 8 sponsored terrorism.
I hope this mess gets cleared up soon. Our Pakistani puppet program is too important for national security, remember: that’s how we found Osama Bin Laden. First, we asked the children of Abbottabad, “Who are the people in your neighborhood?” and it turns out one of these things was not like the others.
More to come…
June 7, 2012 — Regina Spektor | Colbert News Hub
EPISODE NUMBER: 8108 (June 7, 2012)
GUESTS: Regina Spektor
EXCLUSIVE: “Ballad of a Politician”
SEGMENTS: Corruption on Pakistan’s “Sesame Street” | The New York Times’ Hit Job on Mitt Romney’s Home | A Teacup Pig’s Partisan Politics | Regina Spektor – “Small Town Moon” | Sign Off – Colbert Super PAC – Super Fun Pack Treasure Hunt Hint
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Light blue tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, June 7, 2012
Intro
Thank you… mindless zombies. Welcome to The Report. Thank you for joining us.
Corruption on Pakistan’s “Sesame Street”
Nation, you know we have a complicated relationship with Pakistan. It’s sort of a love/hate relationship. They love to hate us and we hate that we have to love them.
Twenty million dollars of corruption on Sesame Street! I believe congress needs to hold hearings and ask some tough questions: what Elmo know and when Elmo know it.
It was our most successful deployment of the puppet in the region since Hamid Karzai. But- Very lifelike, very lifelike.
But an investigation of corruption has been launched thanks to a tip to a State Department telephone hotline. Although it did take a long time for that hotline to get answered.
Now, according, according to Pakistani press reports, the corrupt puppeteers or corrupteteers behind Sim Sim Hamara were using US money to pay off old debts and awarding lucrative contracts to relatives.And that’s not all folks. The Report has obtained this exclusive undercover footage of the corruption in action.
We caught Elmo red handed! Folks, that guy is bad news! Not only has he been linked to state sponsored terrorism, he’s also been linked to 8 sponsored terrorism.
I hope this mess gets cleared up soon. Our Pakistani puppet program is too important for national security, remember: that’s how we found Osama Bin Laden. First, we asked the children of Abbottabad, “Who are the people in your neighborhood?” and it turns out one of these things was not like the others.
More to come…