EPISODE NUMBER: 8102 (May 29, 2012)
GUESTS: Charlize Theron
SEGMENTS: Intro | Who’s Honoring Me Now? – Peabody Awards & Maxim’s Hot 100 | Donald Trump’s Creative Truth & Mitt Romney’s Poll Numbers | Un-American News – Egypt’s Presidential Elections | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | Pale Blue Shirt | Purple & Light Blue Horizontal Striper
VIDEOS: Tuesday, May 29, 2012
What a great back-to-shows show! Tonight Stephen celebrated the two prestigious awards he received over the break – the Peabody (been there, done that, but one more time, please!) and, the even more impressive Maxim’s Hot 100 for 2012 . According to Stephen, he has now been independently verified as hotter than you, me, and the other 3.3 billion women not included on the list. Talk about a shame spiral! *Goes off to eat a pint of ice cream.*
I kind of hearted the total fail of the Cato the Elder joke, but Stephen rebounded straight away with a quick burst of latin. What broadcaster out there busts out the latin these days on a semi-regular basis? Must be why we love him so much. Hubster jennie kindly translates for us in the comments below. Also digging the Donald Trump as tangerine in a toupee graphic.
Nice quotable in the Egypt segment: “Because democracy isn’t about getting everything you want, it’s about not getting most of what you don’t want.”
Finally, I thought Ms. Theron held up well against Stephen. Hollywood stars don’t always make for the most illuminating guests on TCR, in my humblest opinion, but she seemed down to earth enough, and she certainly is an actress worth her salt. It was nice to see two of the world’s hottest women assembled to discuss beauty in film.
Please feel free to show your love for the ep in the comments.
Intro
Tonight! Donald Trump makes a controversial claim: he says he has not been bobbing for Cheetos.
Then, Egypt holds its first round of presidential elections. The winner gets buried with a hundred mummified cats.
Romney wins the Texas primary. Congratulations Mitt Romney. You’ve gone from presumptive nominee, to “sumptive” nominee.
Who’s Honoring Me Now?
So congratulations, Peabody, you are 2/3rds away from recognizing my greatness.
I am one of the hottest women in the world! I am the first man to make Maxim’s 100 hottest women in the world. Finally, these child bearing hips are paying off.
69! That is hot, as long the 6 and the 9 got married first.
I am hotter than Christina Hendricks, Nikki Minaj, Sofia Vergara, and the other 3.3 billion women in the world, alright? Fellas, if you are at home watching, look at your girlfriend: she is uglier than me.
But don’t feel bad ladies, because this is proof that you do not need to be a busty supermodel to be hot. You can still be sexy with a B-cup.
I mean she’s a fantastic actress, but hot, look at her (shows clip from Monster) I don’t see it, I just don’t see it. And that’s from a movie, so you now she was in hours of makeup. Frankly, she looks a monster. Anyway, she’ll be out here in a little while, and you can judge for yourself who’s hotter.
Maxim best be reconsidering its rankings…
Anyway, Maxim has proven that no award is beyond my reach, so I expect to win the Westminster Dog Show, and the Motor Trend Car of the Year. I won’t tell you where, but I do have a cup holder.
Donald Trump’s Creative Truth
There was some disturbing truth over the break: Barack Obama is still president. Or is he? Because real estate billionaire, and basketball with tooth veneers Donald Trump has found some dramatic new evidence that Barack Obama was not born in Hawaii.
Right, because Donald knows that when you are running for President, you got to get creative with the truth (shows “great relationship with the blacks” clip) See, that’s a bit of stretch – not all the blacks, I am sure that there is at least a couple of who don’t care for him (shows the Obamas)
Sin City! Somebody’s drinking coffee tonight.
Yes, George, I believe I’ve proven that.
That includes that numb nuts Cato the Elder…yeah, this douche nozzle. Carthago delenda est, my ass. (awkward pause) Got Cato the Elder fans tonight?No it’s alright, it’s alright, De gustibus non disputandum est.
“Cato” joke: just your run-of-the-mill Punic War shout out.
How is Mitt going to get to that 50.1% up here? He’s already got the fiscal conservatives and the social conservatives already mixed in, but that’s not enough. Now Trump gets him the Birthers, but now he’s got to get the 9/11 Truthers, the Alien Abductors, the Alien Abductees, the Doomsday Preppers, the Sasquatch Hunters, the Sasquatches (or Sasqueeche.) S**t! That’s only 50%! How does he get that tiny sliver that’s gonna be tough! Who represents such a minuscule portion of Americans.? Wait! I’ve got it. All Mitt needs are blacks who like Donald Trump.
(shows Arsenio Hall winning The Apprentice) 50.1! 50.! Mitt, you’re hired!
Un-American News – Egypt’s Presidential Elections
That is the reluctant smattering of applause I believe other countries deserve, thank you.
“The Egyptian Revolution is now entering its sixteenth month. Now that’s kind of a long Arab Spring, which of course was predicted by the Arab Punxsutawney Phil, Alexandria Ali. He is the leader of an underground, extremist weather predicting sect….he popped up, saw his shadow, and was immediately taken out by a predator drone. “
[Candidate Morsi] is a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, which is kind of like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, only they don’t allow their sisters to travel, or wear pants.
If things don’t work out for him in Egypt, he could run for office in Arizona. After, it is a desert, and they’ve already begun mummifying their current ruler.
Yes, “Down with the Next President.” Hey, hey, ho, ho, TBD has got to go!
Just look at the facts: nobody likes either candidate, angry protesters are screaming in the streets, and only 46% of registered voters are going to the polls, which means Egypt has finally achieved American-style democracy.
Because democracy isn’t about getting everything you want, it’s about not getting most of what you don’t want.
Interview
“Listen to me, now, one hot woman to another. Aren’t the prettiest people always the heroes? “
May 29, 2012 — Charlize Theron
GUESTS: Charlize Theron
SEGMENTS: Intro | Who’s Honoring Me Now? – Peabody Awards & Maxim’s Hot 100 | Donald Trump’s Creative Truth & Mitt Romney’s Poll Numbers | Un-American News – Egypt’s Presidential Elections | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | Pale Blue Shirt | Purple & Light Blue Horizontal Striper
VIDEOS: Tuesday, May 29, 2012
What a great back-to-shows show! Tonight Stephen celebrated the two prestigious awards he received over the break – the Peabody (been there, done that, but one more time, please!) and, the even more impressive Maxim’s Hot 100 for 2012 . According to Stephen, he has now been independently verified as hotter than you, me, and the other 3.3 billion women not included on the list. Talk about a shame spiral! *Goes off to eat a pint of ice cream.*
I kind of hearted the total fail of the Cato the Elder joke, but Stephen rebounded straight away with a quick burst of latin. What broadcaster out there busts out the latin these days on a semi-regular basis? Must be why we love him so much. Hubster jennie kindly translates for us in the comments below. Also digging the Donald Trump as tangerine in a toupee graphic.
Nice quotable in the Egypt segment: “Because democracy isn’t about getting everything you want, it’s about not getting most of what you don’t want.”
Finally, I thought Ms. Theron held up well against Stephen. Hollywood stars don’t always make for the most illuminating guests on TCR, in my humblest opinion, but she seemed down to earth enough, and she certainly is an actress worth her salt. It was nice to see two of the world’s hottest women assembled to discuss beauty in film.
Please feel free to show your love for the ep in the comments.
Intro
Tonight! Donald Trump makes a controversial claim: he says he has not been bobbing for Cheetos.
Then, Egypt holds its first round of presidential elections. The winner gets buried with a hundred mummified cats.
Romney wins the Texas primary. Congratulations Mitt Romney. You’ve gone from presumptive nominee, to “sumptive” nominee.
Who’s Honoring Me Now?
So congratulations, Peabody, you are 2/3rds away from recognizing my greatness.
I am one of the hottest women in the world! I am the first man to make Maxim’s 100 hottest women in the world. Finally, these child bearing hips are paying off.
69! That is hot, as long the 6 and the 9 got married first.
I am hotter than Christina Hendricks, Nikki Minaj, Sofia Vergara, and the other 3.3 billion women in the world, alright? Fellas, if you are at home watching, look at your girlfriend: she is uglier than me.
But don’t feel bad ladies, because this is proof that you do not need to be a busty supermodel to be hot. You can still be sexy with a B-cup.
I mean she’s a fantastic actress, but hot, look at her (shows clip from Monster) I don’t see it, I just don’t see it. And that’s from a movie, so you now she was in hours of makeup. Frankly, she looks a monster. Anyway, she’ll be out here in a little while, and you can judge for yourself who’s hotter.
Maxim best be reconsidering its rankings…
Anyway, Maxim has proven that no award is beyond my reach, so I expect to win the Westminster Dog Show, and the Motor Trend Car of the Year. I won’t tell you where, but I do have a cup holder.
Donald Trump’s Creative Truth
There was some disturbing truth over the break: Barack Obama is still president. Or is he? Because real estate billionaire, and basketball with tooth veneers Donald Trump has found some dramatic new evidence that Barack Obama was not born in Hawaii.
Right, because Donald knows that when you are running for President, you got to get creative with the truth (shows “great relationship with the blacks” clip) See, that’s a bit of stretch – not all the blacks, I am sure that there is at least a couple of who don’t care for him (shows the Obamas)
Sin City! Somebody’s drinking coffee tonight.
Yes, George, I believe I’ve proven that.
That includes that numb nuts Cato the Elder…yeah, this douche nozzle. Carthago delenda est, my ass. (awkward pause) Got Cato the Elder fans tonight?No it’s alright, it’s alright, De gustibus non disputandum est.
“Cato” joke: just your run-of-the-mill Punic War shout out.
How is Mitt going to get to that 50.1% up here? He’s already got the fiscal conservatives and the social conservatives already mixed in, but that’s not enough. Now Trump gets him the Birthers, but now he’s got to get the 9/11 Truthers, the Alien Abductors, the Alien Abductees, the Doomsday Preppers, the Sasquatch Hunters, the Sasquatches (or Sasqueeche.) S**t! That’s only 50%! How does he get that tiny sliver that’s gonna be tough! Who represents such a minuscule portion of Americans.? Wait! I’ve got it. All Mitt needs are blacks who like Donald Trump.
(shows Arsenio Hall winning The Apprentice) 50.1! 50.! Mitt, you’re hired!
Un-American News – Egypt’s Presidential Elections
That is the reluctant smattering of applause I believe other countries deserve, thank you.
“The Egyptian Revolution is now entering its sixteenth month. Now that’s kind of a long Arab Spring, which of course was predicted by the Arab Punxsutawney Phil, Alexandria Ali. He is the leader of an underground, extremist weather predicting sect….he popped up, saw his shadow, and was immediately taken out by a predator drone. “
[Candidate Morsi] is a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, which is kind of like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, only they don’t allow their sisters to travel, or wear pants.
If things don’t work out for him in Egypt, he could run for office in Arizona. After, it is a desert, and they’ve already begun mummifying their current ruler.
Yes, “Down with the Next President.” Hey, hey, ho, ho, TBD has got to go!
Just look at the facts: nobody likes either candidate, angry protesters are screaming in the streets, and only 46% of registered voters are going to the polls, which means Egypt has finally achieved American-style democracy.
Because democracy isn’t about getting everything you want, it’s about not getting most of what you don’t want.
Interview
“Listen to me, now, one hot woman to another. Aren’t the prettiest people always the heroes? “