November 6, 2013 — Brian Lehrer

EPISODE NUMBER: 10019 (November 6, 2013)
GUESTS: Brian Lehrer
SEGMENTS: Ms. Marvel’s Reboot | Tip/Wag – Toys “R” Us, Shroom Tombs & John Pike | Washington State’s GMO Labeling Initiative | Sign Off – Baby Harrison
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Purple Tie
TAPING REPORT: [Link]
VIDEOS: Wednesday, November 6, 2013

G’day Hubsters, here’s a taste of tonight’s episode. Please share your thought on the show in the comments, while I work on finishing up the guide!

Ms. Marvel’s Reboot

“Her name is Kamala Khan and as Ms. Marvel, she can grow and shrink her limbs and her body, and shape shift into other forms.”

  • If she can shape shift, that means literally anything could be Muslim. A lamp, a sandwich, a tiger, a non-threatening Muslim. It’s even more upsetting when you consider the original Ms. Marvel. She was wholesome, all-American. Blonde, family values, with two bulging chest muscles. And clearly wearing her Sunday church panties.
  • This is nothing more than Sharia creep, plain and simple. First she’s a comic book character, then she gets her own movie, then action figures … Next thing you know, my kids are dressing up as her for Halloween, and they’re shouting: ‘Trick or treat, death to Captain America!’ It’s coming. Mark my words.

Tip/Wag – Toys “R” Us, Shroom Tombs & John Pike

  • Nation, you know I am judge, jury and executioner. So making love with me is a 4-way.

“Today we’re taking some kids on the bst field trip the could wish for. And they don’t even know it. Hi guys, I’m ranger Brad. So we’re not gonna waste any time. Let’s play ‘Name that Lead’. I’m a big fan of trees. I don’t know if you could tell. But we’re not going to the forest today. We’re going to Toys “R” Us guys.”

  • Toys “R” Us has really captured the magic of having a stranger take your kids on a bus … Lie about where they’re going and then take off his clothes and promise toys.
  • Kids today have lost sight of what’s important. All they care about is their tweeting and their twerking. Rubbing your butt against things should be reserved for revenge against your boss.

“John Pike, the campus police officer at UC Davis who pepper sprayed those seated protestors … Will receive $38,000 in worker’s comp for the depression and anxiety he suffered in the aftermath.”

  • [Audience boos] I know, I’m happy too. it is the biggest pay-out for assulting people’s eyes since ‘Transformers 3′.

“… By comparison, the 21 people hit by pepper spray in the otherwise peaceful protest each received $30,000.”

  • Sure the protestors got less, but on the bright side they beat the odds and actually made money with a Liberal Arts degree.

Interview – Brian Lehrer

Brian: Somebody said the most successful politicians in history are the best at feigning sincerity.
Stephen: Yeah, it’s hard to fake *nods*.