EPISODE NUMBER: 11008 (October 9, 2014)
GUESTS: Robert Plant
SEGMENTS: Intro | Columbus Day Under Attack | Raining vs. Sprinkling | “Republicans Are People Too” | Robert Plant | Sign Off – “lullaby and… the Ceaseless Roar”
WEB EXCLUSIVE: “Little Maggie”
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Navy patterned tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, October 9, 2014
Tonight’s episode was a personal dream come true for me. As a lifelong fan of Led Zeppelin and a super fan of The Colbert Report, two of my passions converged. Robert Plant was absolutely fantastic. Stephen seemed to enjoy that one-of-kind rock ‘n roll energy that Plant provided. It was an excellently funny interview and a phenomenal performance by a true rock legend. In 1975, Plant stood on the balcony of a hotel on the Sunset Strip in LA and declared, “I am a golden god!” Who could argue with that?!
On another personal note, this Episode Guide marks my one year anniversary as a blogger for Colbert News Hub. I am so grateful to all of the devoted bloggers here, like CN Helper, whom I consider a true friend. I am continually inspired by the amazing dedication of our webmaster, Katt. I have gotten to know other Hubsters and fellow Colbert fans and I give a big “Tip Of My Hat” to all of you. This past year has been a wonderful ride. I am so thankful that I am able to blog about Stephen and share in the fan experience with everyone. Under-the-desk-high-fives to all of the lovely fans out there who enjoy our work here at Colbert News Hub!
Intro – 10/9/14
Tonight, a persecuted minority fights back. We’re here. We’re unable to rhyme. Enjoy that fact! Then the sports world is rocked by scandal, or as it’s sometimes called, football season. And my guest tonight is former Led Zeppelin front man, Robert Plant. I’ve got bad knees, so I’ll ask him if there’s an escalator to heaven. A new study says on average men need 7.8 hours of sleep a day. Really? On top of the 12 hours I get each night?
Columbus Day Under Attack
- Folks, the white Christian establishment is under attack again and I am just whittling myself a little personal defense cross.
If anybody comes at me I can give them a little salvation right in the jugular!
- Folks, I might have to do it, because once again, the secular progressives are coming for the most sacred American holiday in the first half of October.
“The Seattle School Board giving Christopher Columbus the boot? In order to celebrate the Indigenous People of the Seattle Area, the school has unanimously voted to have the school observe Indigenous People Day, even though the rest of the country will observe Columbus Day.”
- Yes, Seattle is replacing Columbus Day with Indigenous People Day. Why? They didn’t discover America. And it was right under their feet the whole time. How lazy do you have to be to not even look down?
- They claim it’s about fighting racism, but tell them what’s really going on here Peter Johnson Jr.
“It’s a social and political statement that says that Christopher Columbus was a violator of Indigenous People. It’s a slap. It’s an attack on Columbus…Day.”
- Yes, it’s an attack on Columbus…Day.
- Or to put it in a way that fits my pre-existing graphic, it’s Columbus Day Under Attack!
Jesus and Columbus side by side, just like they were on the Nina and Pinta. Of course, St. Mary was on on the Santa Maria.
- Nation, I take this assault on Columbus personally. As an American patriot, I identify with an Italian explorer employed by Spain.
- This is the good kind of immigrant. I would be fine with the border jumpers if they were just trying to find spice routes to Asia.
- Worst of all, if this catches on, we stand to lose all of our most cherished Columbus Day traditions.
- It all starts bright and early on Columbus Day morning when the kids rush downstairs in their PJs to say, “We’re off from school! Why does dad have to work? That doesn’t seem right.” No, it doesn’t. It doesn’t seem right at all, kids.
- I think right now, all of us feel like that Italian guy who played that Indian guy in those pollution commercials.
- We may forgive, but we must never “fuhgeddaboudit.”
Raining vs. Sprinkling
- A viral vid-clip recently burning up the hash-web is an argument over the weather between two toddlers.
These two toddlers argue back and forth over whether it is raining or sprinkling outside.
- It’s a classic case of he-said-mom-said, she-said-mom-said.
- And talk about precocious. These kids are appealing to authority to argue over something they actually kind of agree about. Just like cable news does.
- MSNBC says it’s sprinkling, Fox News says it’s raining and CNN says whatever, it’s wet. Throw Anderson Cooper out there in a tight t-shirt.
- Unfortunately, what should have been a civil shouting match, erupted into violence.
I’m not crying. My face is just spwinkling.
“Republicans Are People Too”
- This midterm season, the best political ad does not promote a candidate. It promotes a demonized minority.
A political ad entitled “Republicans Are People Too” is shown. Throughout the ad we hear kicky music and we see pictures of everyday people with captions such as “Republicans Drive Priuses,” “Republicans Put Together Ikea Furniture,” “Republicans Have Feelings,” “Republicans Read The New York Times,” etc. Yes, it is an actual real advertisement!
- Yes, Republicans are people, too. I have not seen such courageous rebranding since White Castle’s “It Is Food.”
- And the man responsible for this ad, Vinny Minchillo, has vast experience making Republicans seem human because he once worked for Mitt Romney.
- Vinny says he made the ad because on social media:
“I’ve been called every name in the book. It’s become socially acceptable to talk about Republicans in the most evil terms possible…”
- Folks, I don’t know why. Republicans can be anybody. They can be women. Men. But mostly stock photo models.
- And it doesn’t matter that we checked with the photographers and found out that the guy in front of the Prius is not a Republican, and lives in Sweden.
- And that the Republican reading the New York Times does not affiliate with either party and is actually reading the Wall Street Journal.
- Republicans can be people that they’re not. As long as we can find the right stock photo, I believe Republicans can be people who do yoga on produce. Republicans can be women who eat salad in the bath tub. Republicans can be astronauts who take their helmets off in space. Republicans can get tangled in yarn.
And Republicans can even be TV hosts.
- I, Stephen Colbert, have a confession to make. For nine years now, I’ve been telling you I’m an Independent Conservative, but that was a lie.
- This commercial has inspired me to encourage all closeted Republicans who are afraid to be themselves to join me.
- I’m looking at you, Papa Bear.
Several clips of Bill O’Reilly: “As you know, I’m an Independent.” “I’m an Independent, but I know both parties pretty well.”
“I’m an Independent. I’m an independent. All right?!”
- Okay, girlfriend. Whatever helps you cry yourself to sleep at night.
Interview – Robert Plant
As Stephen jogs over to the interview, Robert Plant gets up and jogs away from Stephen. In the process, Plant’s mic falls off and Stephen puts it back on for him.
Stephen: I never thought I would start an interview by saying, “I just touched Robert Plant’s butt.”
Stephen: Robert, my liege lord, thank you for being here. How has your Rock-tober been treating you?
Robert: Well, it’s been so far, so good. I don’t know where we came from recently.
Stephen: I believe you came from the land of the ice and snow! Otherwise known as Canada.
Stephen: Are you a knight errant on a quest?
Robert: I don’t think I’m ever going to make the full grade, actually, to be perfectly frank with you. It’s been a long journey and I think CBE is as far as I can get.
Stephen: What about in your heart? What about as an artist? Are you on a quest of your own?
Robert: I think I manage to eat a lot of cereal in the morning.
Stephen: So, you have plenty of fiber. Very important.
Robert: And it keeps me regularly marching forward. So, my quest basically – I’m going to get to the end of this somehow or other – it’s a long one and has no end. It’s a wonderful thing to do surrounded by great people.
Robert: I brought you a little present from the stock room.
Stephen: What’d you bring me? What is that? Let’s find out what this is later. Shall we?!
Robert: I think it’s one of the accessories of being not quite a knight of the British Empire, but on the way.
Stephen: All right, well, thank you very much. And for the purposes of my lawyer and my network, this is a cigarette.
Stephen: The album itself is called “lullaby and…The Ceaseless Roar.” What is the lullaby? Is the ceaseless roar the lullaby itself?
Robert: It’s all life. It’s the ricochet and the the collision of all the adventures I’ve had, I suppose. It’s time to write some of them down.
Robert Plant – “Rainbow”
Did you have a Whole Lotta Love for this episode? Ramble On in the comment section!
October 9, 2014 – Robert Plant
EPISODE NUMBER: 11008 (October 9, 2014)
GUESTS: Robert Plant
SEGMENTS: Intro | Columbus Day Under Attack | Raining vs. Sprinkling | “Republicans Are People Too” | Robert Plant | Sign Off – “lullaby and… the Ceaseless Roar”
WEB EXCLUSIVE: “Little Maggie”
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Navy patterned tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, October 9, 2014
Tonight’s episode was a personal dream come true for me. As a lifelong fan of Led Zeppelin and a super fan of The Colbert Report, two of my passions converged. Robert Plant was absolutely fantastic. Stephen seemed to enjoy that one-of-kind rock ‘n roll energy that Plant provided. It was an excellently funny interview and a phenomenal performance by a true rock legend. In 1975, Plant stood on the balcony of a hotel on the Sunset Strip in LA and declared, “I am a golden god!” Who could argue with that?!
On another personal note, this Episode Guide marks my one year anniversary as a blogger for Colbert News Hub. I am so grateful to all of the devoted bloggers here, like CN Helper, whom I consider a true friend. I am continually inspired by the amazing dedication of our webmaster, Katt. I have gotten to know other Hubsters and fellow Colbert fans and I give a big “Tip Of My Hat” to all of you. This past year has been a wonderful ride. I am so thankful that I am able to blog about Stephen and share in the fan experience with everyone. Under-the-desk-high-fives to all of the lovely fans out there who enjoy our work here at Colbert News Hub!
Intro – 10/9/14
Columbus Day Under Attack
If anybody comes at me I can give them a little salvation right in the jugular!
Jesus and Columbus side by side, just like they were on the Nina and Pinta. Of course, St. Mary was on on the Santa Maria.
Raining vs. Sprinkling
These two toddlers argue back and forth over whether it is raining or sprinkling outside.
I’m not crying. My face is just spwinkling.
“Republicans Are People Too”
A political ad entitled “Republicans Are People Too” is shown. Throughout the ad we hear kicky music and we see pictures of everyday people with captions such as “Republicans Drive Priuses,” “Republicans Put Together Ikea Furniture,” “Republicans Have Feelings,” “Republicans Read The New York Times,” etc. Yes, it is an actual real advertisement!
And Republicans can even be TV hosts.
Interview – Robert Plant
As Stephen jogs over to the interview, Robert Plant gets up and jogs away from Stephen. In the process, Plant’s mic falls off and Stephen puts it back on for him.
Stephen: I never thought I would start an interview by saying, “I just touched Robert Plant’s butt.”
Stephen: Robert, my liege lord, thank you for being here. How has your Rock-tober been treating you?
Robert: Well, it’s been so far, so good. I don’t know where we came from recently.
Stephen: I believe you came from the land of the ice and snow! Otherwise known as Canada.
Stephen: Are you a knight errant on a quest?
Robert: I don’t think I’m ever going to make the full grade, actually, to be perfectly frank with you. It’s been a long journey and I think CBE is as far as I can get.
Stephen: What about in your heart? What about as an artist? Are you on a quest of your own?
Robert: I think I manage to eat a lot of cereal in the morning.
Stephen: So, you have plenty of fiber. Very important.
Robert: And it keeps me regularly marching forward. So, my quest basically – I’m going to get to the end of this somehow or other – it’s a long one and has no end. It’s a wonderful thing to do surrounded by great people.
Robert: I brought you a little present from the stock room.
Stephen: What’d you bring me? What is that? Let’s find out what this is later. Shall we?!
Robert: I think it’s one of the accessories of being not quite a knight of the British Empire, but on the way.
Stephen: All right, well, thank you very much. And for the purposes of my lawyer and my network, this is a cigarette.
Stephen: The album itself is called “lullaby and…The Ceaseless Roar.” What is the lullaby? Is the ceaseless roar the lullaby itself?
Robert: It’s all life. It’s the ricochet and the the collision of all the adventures I’ve had, I suppose. It’s time to write some of them down.
Robert Plant – “Rainbow”
Did you have a Whole Lotta Love for this episode? Ramble On in the comment section!