Peter Gwinn's Guide to Surviving an Emmy Viewing Party

If you are one of those unlucky people who have somehow managed to snag an invite to an Emmy viewing party, but find yourself completely unprepared for the three plus hour onslaught of designer dresses, mangled acceptance speeches and a parade of shows you’ve never heard of, fear not, former Colbert Report writer Peter Gwinn is here to help.

The Fall TV season is looming on the horizon, which means at any given moment, you might find yourself at an Emmy Award Show viewing party. The bad news: This year, instead of its usual Sunday in September, the Emmy telecast is for some insane reason on a Monday in August, meaning you will be unable to sneak off to the kitchen and watch football. The good news: we’ve got you covered. Here is everything you need to know to look good at a party for the Oscars’ self-loathing cousin, even if you can’t tell Downton Abbey from Duck Dynasty.

Full Survival Guide: Men’s Health.