EPISODE NUMBER: 10153 (September 15, 2014)
GUESTS: Mindy Kaling
SEGMENTS: The Next Miss America | The Vote for Scottish Independence | The Vote for Scottish Independence – Matt Wells | Think Tank Corruption | Mindy Kaling | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Black suit | White shirt | Black & White patterned tie | Kilt
VIDEOS: Monday, September 15, 2014
.gif by teesa
I would definitely pay “5 Feckin’ Jobby’s” for this episode, although I don’t know what that means! What a brilliant take on the Scottish referendum, complete with plenty of footage of Stephen in a glorious kilt. Lots of eye candy, to be sure, and even an attempt at the bagpipes! We all know from Stephen’s shofar-blowing that he is adept at all wind instruments.
Mindy Kaling seemed really nervous to be (finally) meeting Stephen, but she was adorable and their interaction was fun and flirty. She looked totally gorgeous too, but it was great that Stephen noted that she is a lady with a pretty impressive show runner’s CV – got it all goin’ on. I think she will be a great guest for The Late Show when the character’s mask is fully off. We are under 50 eps now, Hubsters. *cries*
What did you think of the ep? Share your thoughts in the comments.
The Next Miss America
- Of course, while there’s a lot of talk that Hillary could be our first female president, this past weekend we once again elected a strong female leader. Yes, Miss America. That one magical night a year Atlantic City shows the world just how close it could come to turning a profit.
“There’s your Miss America right there: the flowing blonde mane, the elegant red gown, the legs, the way she can sing a whole song without blinking.”
The Vote for Scottish Independence
- We are just 72 hours away from a once in a lifetime vote on Scottish independence.
- Scotland will vote this week on whether to severe 100-year-old ties with Britain and become an independent nation. After 307 years Scotland could break away from the rest of Britain.
- That’s right, Scotland could actually secede. I didn’t even know they had slaves. This is an emotionally charged struggle that Traces its roots to the days of William Wallace.
- “William Wallace”: They may take a lives but they’ll never take our freedom-to-calculate-pension-benefits-based-on-inflation-or-earnings, whichever is highest!!!!
- A vote for separation would mean the near-certain resignation of British prime minister David Cameron. See, back in 2012, Cameron agreed to the independence vote as a calculated gamble. And if he loses Scotland, he’ll have to make it up by winning India back at the craps table.
- Folks, any time people are angrily demanding something and I don’t entirely understand why — I am with them.
- As an Irish-American, I knew all too what it’s like to suffer under the boot of an indifferent monarchy. Answer my letters, Prince! I would Die 4 U!
- I’m not saying the road to independence won’t have a wee bump. For instance, Scotland wants to keep using the British pound. But England’s Chancellor of the Exchequer says no farthing way.
- But Scotland is totally ready to rock out with its loch out. The Scots shacked up back in1706 after they went broke trying to colonize Panama. But now, the tables have turned. In the last 32 years, Scotland has generated more tax per capita than the U.K. as a whole. So on their own, they would be one of the world’s 20 wealthiest countries. I had no idea they sold that much adhesive tape.
“Freedom!!!!”
“If Scotland walks away from the U.K., it walks away from the pound, meaning the new country would have to revert to traditional Scottish currency: slabs of peat moss stamped with Sean Connery’s face.”
- So I stand with my secessionist brothers. Today, I Stephen Colbert, am a proud Scotsman Ich bin ein Edinburger!!
The Vote for Scottish Independence – Matt Wells
Stephen: Do you think that Scotland should succeed?
Matt Wells: Yes, I think Scotland should succeed and secede.
Stephen: What’s the difference?
Matt: Look, the union has lasted 307 years. And for much of that time it’s served Britain and Scotland very well indeed. But the ties that band the union together, things like the British empire, the shared sense of British statehood that went with a century of fighting two world wars, they have faded now. And the institutions have replaced them and feel distant and discredited.
Stephen:But will it be good for everybody? For them to secede?[…]Is that going to be positive for Scotland and England?
Matt: it will be very good for Scotland. And i don’t think it will be bad for England. The GDP of Scotland is per capita $2,300 pounds greater than it is in England. Scotland is a low population, resource-rich country. We have a great resources North Sea oil. There are very much untapped root resources.
Stephen: Do you wish David Cameron harm?
Matt: No.
Stephen:I mean The Guardian is a progressive left-wing newspaper. You would like to stick a knife in him. That’s why you see chaos. Would this be chaos for the people in England?
Matt: I think will be difficult.
Stephen: is that an English word for firebombing or something like that? “Difficult,” what does “difficult” mean in England?
Matt: Frankly, it will be cataclysmic for them.
Stephen: Cataclysmic fort hem. So you want this because it is a good story for you.
Matt: It will be a great story.
Stephen: You’re open to the secession for the same reason people watch Nascar, hoping that the carb will just slam into the wall. You’re cutting the braking cables of Scotland.
Matt: David Cameron staked his reputation on saving the union. He was the one who granted the referendum in the first place, it was his decision to make the slate a yes or no question.
Stephen: Why did he do that? Why did he do that?
Matt: — a massive political miscalculation which now looks as if it might backfire in his face. […] the polls at the time suggested that only 30% of people in Scotland supported independence. David Cameron, in what some people might say was political arrogance, thought that he could easily win. The three political parties would be united against the “upstart” nationalists. They would be easily defeated.
Stephen: Could the queen have done something to stop It? What if she had worn a different hat? Or waved slightly differently or something?
Matt: She did intervene in the debate on Sunday coming out of church near her estate in Scotland where she spends the summer, Balmoral. She said to a well wisher who asked her what she thought of the Scottish Referendum — a member of the public, overheard by the press– she said that she thought that Scots voting on Thursday should “think very carefully indeed about their future.”
Stephen: Oh my god. That is a smack down from the queen. That is the equivalent of saying, “well, do you feel lucky, punk?”
Think Tank Corruption
- The New York Times now reports that more than a dozen prominent Washington research groups, Think tanks, took tens of millions of dollars in foreign government money in recent years. Some foreign countries were essentially trying to buy Influence, paying those Think Tanks to put their position in a positive light, or to gain influence with lawmakers.
- Yes, foreign governments are buying Influence. So good news- America has an export.
- And folks, the corruption by supposedly independent Think Tanks like the Brookings Institute goes deep. For instance, after Qatar agreed to make a $14.8 billion donation to Brookings, a visiting fellow said he has been told during his job interview that he could not take positions critical of the Qatari government. And use only accepted pronunciations of the country like “cutter,” “gutter,” “duh-tar,” and “Quisnos.”
“Which explains this footage from Brookings recent symposium on eradicating global hunger. I’m sorry, Im being told that that chef is actually Swedish -which is apparently not the same thing as Norwegian? Okay, my mistake. Norway should really do something to raise its profile.”
Interview — Mindy Kaling
Stephen: I am an enormous fan, my whole family is. We love watching the show, I don’t think there is anything on TV like it and one of the things I like about the show-
Mindy: Thank you, by the way.
Stephen: You’re welcome. We can pause and compliment each other, if you want to say something nice about me.
Mindy: I have never seen your legs before.
Stephen: What do you think?
Mindy: They’re very becoming.
September 15, 2014 – Mindy Kaling
GUESTS: Mindy Kaling
SEGMENTS: The Next Miss America | The Vote for Scottish Independence | The Vote for Scottish Independence – Matt Wells | Think Tank Corruption | Mindy Kaling | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Black suit | White shirt | Black & White patterned tie | Kilt
VIDEOS: Monday, September 15, 2014
.gif by teesa
I would definitely pay “5 Feckin’ Jobby’s” for this episode, although I don’t know what that means! What a brilliant take on the Scottish referendum, complete with plenty of footage of Stephen in a glorious kilt. Lots of eye candy, to be sure, and even an attempt at the bagpipes! We all know from Stephen’s shofar-blowing that he is adept at all wind instruments.
Mindy Kaling seemed really nervous to be (finally) meeting Stephen, but she was adorable and their interaction was fun and flirty. She looked totally gorgeous too, but it was great that Stephen noted that she is a lady with a pretty impressive show runner’s CV – got it all goin’ on. I think she will be a great guest for The Late Show when the character’s mask is fully off. We are under 50 eps now, Hubsters. *cries*
What did you think of the ep? Share your thoughts in the comments.
The Next Miss America
“There’s your Miss America right there: the flowing blonde mane, the elegant red gown, the legs, the way she can sing a whole song without blinking.”
The Vote for Scottish Independence
“Freedom!!!!”
“If Scotland walks away from the U.K., it walks away from the pound, meaning the new country would have to revert to traditional Scottish currency: slabs of peat moss stamped with Sean Connery’s face.”
The Vote for Scottish Independence – Matt Wells
Stephen: Do you think that Scotland should succeed?
Matt Wells: Yes, I think Scotland should succeed and secede.
Stephen: What’s the difference?
Matt: Look, the union has lasted 307 years. And for much of that time it’s served Britain and Scotland very well indeed. But the ties that band the union together, things like the British empire, the shared sense of British statehood that went with a century of fighting two world wars, they have faded now. And the institutions have replaced them and feel distant and discredited.
Stephen:But will it be good for everybody? For them to secede?[…]Is that going to be positive for Scotland and England?
Matt: it will be very good for Scotland. And i don’t think it will be bad for England. The GDP of Scotland is per capita $2,300 pounds greater than it is in England. Scotland is a low population, resource-rich country. We have a great resources North Sea oil. There are very much untapped root resources.
Stephen: Do you wish David Cameron harm?
Matt: No.
Stephen:I mean The Guardian is a progressive left-wing newspaper. You would like to stick a knife in him. That’s why you see chaos. Would this be chaos for the people in England?
Matt: I think will be difficult.
Stephen: is that an English word for firebombing or something like that? “Difficult,” what does “difficult” mean in England?
Matt: Frankly, it will be cataclysmic for them.
Stephen: Cataclysmic fort hem. So you want this because it is a good story for you.
Matt: It will be a great story.
Stephen: You’re open to the secession for the same reason people watch Nascar, hoping that the carb will just slam into the wall. You’re cutting the braking cables of Scotland.
Matt: David Cameron staked his reputation on saving the union. He was the one who granted the referendum in the first place, it was his decision to make the slate a yes or no question.
Stephen: Why did he do that? Why did he do that?
Matt: — a massive political miscalculation which now looks as if it might backfire in his face. […] the polls at the time suggested that only 30% of people in Scotland supported independence. David Cameron, in what some people might say was political arrogance, thought that he could easily win. The three political parties would be united against the “upstart” nationalists. They would be easily defeated.
Stephen: Could the queen have done something to stop It? What if she had worn a different hat? Or waved slightly differently or something?
Matt: She did intervene in the debate on Sunday coming out of church near her estate in Scotland where she spends the summer, Balmoral. She said to a well wisher who asked her what she thought of the Scottish Referendum — a member of the public, overheard by the press– she said that she thought that Scots voting on Thursday should “think very carefully indeed about their future.”
Stephen: Oh my god. That is a smack down from the queen. That is the equivalent of saying, “well, do you feel lucky, punk?”
Think Tank Corruption
“Which explains this footage from Brookings recent symposium on eradicating global hunger. I’m sorry, Im being told that that chef is actually Swedish -which is apparently not the same thing as Norwegian? Okay, my mistake. Norway should really do something to raise its profile.”
Interview — Mindy Kaling
Stephen: I am an enormous fan, my whole family is. We love watching the show, I don’t think there is anything on TV like it and one of the things I like about the show-
Mindy: Thank you, by the way.
Stephen: You’re welcome. We can pause and compliment each other, if you want to say something nice about me.
Mindy: I have never seen your legs before.
Stephen: What do you think?
Mindy: They’re very becoming.