EPISODE NUMBER: 7100 (August 2, 2011)
GUESTS: Al Hunt
SPECIAL GUEST: David Leonhardt
SEGMENTS: Newt Gingrich Has Fake Twitter Followers | America’s Credit Grating | Saving America’s Credit Rating – David Leonhardt | Kid Tooth Economy
SUIT REPORT: Deep Gray Suit with Light Pinstripes | White Shirt | Light Blue White Be-spotted tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Consider poor Senate Majority leader Harry Reid. All this time spent avoiding a near disastrous destruction of America’s sterling credit rating, cramming 0-hour legislation that did nothing to address our actual budget issues except table them for another day, and his pomegranate trees are in Nevada wilting, unattended, plaintively wailing, “Harry! Harry!”
Tonight’s episode continued pursuing the topic of the debt ceiling dysfunction, with an informative interview with David Leonhardt. Also, we all admired the street cred of the ‘Grich with his awesome (and totally non-manufactured) twitter following, and processed the bad news for kids banking on the Tooth Fairy to shore up their sagging portfolios. Finally, Al Hunt came to rhapsodize about a quaint time when politicians feuded with one another over policy, but were able to put it all aside at the end of the day to enjoy a drink together.
Do any of you have any words of consolation for Sen. Reid, or anything else to add to this fine episode? Please feel free to comment.
Quotables
–I like to go with a candidate who looks like he’s been gelded. That’s why I’m saddling up with Newt Gingrich.
–Newt has won the coveted voting block of Bored People at Work.
–…and Ron Paul has ‘what’s a twitter? Is that how I ebay?’
–Oh, come on. Are you telling me that devoted twit follower @041113846806103 is not a living breathing person who just happens to have no photo, no profile, and has never tweeted?
–Newt insists that all of his twitter followers are legit, and I have no reason to doubt the word of a man who has cheated on two wives.
–Today, President Obama signed the debt ceiling compromise, and America narrowly avoided a catastrophe: giving the Democrats anything they want. Because the only way this bill was two-sided, was that the Dems had to take it at both ends.
–How is Obama going to tell Harry Reid that he also gave the Republicans his pomegranate trees?
–America is currently rated AAA, which means we are a very safe investment, plus I believe we also get free roadside assistance, and a discount at participating Hyatts.
–Greece has such a low grade it may be held back and forced to repeat the last 3,000 years.
–This is nothing more than economic terrorism, and I say we deal with these clowns the way we deal with all terrorists. We march the Marines into their offices, fit them for some orange jumpsuits, and whisk them off Gitmo for some enhanced accounting. Maybe a little number-boarding.
–Can’t we let the Chinese kids get the good grades and copy of their financial reports?
–SC: We made the hard choice to make the hard cuts later! David Leonhardt: We didn’t even do that.
–David Leonhardt: Our problem is manageable economically. We have strengths those other countries don’t. SC: If anyone comes for our money, we’ll drop another AAA bomb on them.
–Let’s try not raising taxes for a couple of centuries and see what happens.
–Did [the Tea Partiers] reach their goal of throwing the United States Government into the Boston Harbor?
–If that doesn’t work, what about a Super Duper Congress, which is just 6 people, which would have an Uber-Congress above them, and finally, it would be Harry Reid and McConnell with knives. DL: Unless they cut medicare and social security or raise taxes, none of the Committees will work.
–That means the average kid’s mouth portfolio will max out at $52.00. Just one more reason I have been encouraging my kids to diversify into tusks.
–What the [tooth fairy] pays her suppliers is determined by macro-toothanomic pressures, and by cusp speculators.
–But we know baby teeth, like gold, will never be worth nothing, because baby teeth have so many practical applications. For instance, they are collected and ground to make fairy dust. Also, they are major ingredient in meth.
–And, the tooth market tanking could not come at a worse time for the kid economy. We’ve all seen the Labor Department dismal outlook for summer chores, and early reports indicate this could be a record low year for quarters found behind ears.
–I am obligated to disclose that I invested everything in baby teeth….I thought it was a sure thing. I would sock them away, let the tooth market rise over time, and once I am 65, put them all under my pillow, and wake up the next morning with 20 million dollars.
–Now I am screwed, unless my back up plan works, which is planting these baby teeth in backyard, and grow some babies. I am pretty sure that’s where they come from. And those things are worth a fortune on the black market.
–Do you think now Obama has raised expectations about how fast he caves in a negotiation?
–SC: Can Washington work again? AH: Uh, probably not. SC: Thank you so much for coming. Al Hunt, everybody! Pithy, pithy, that’s what we want.
–And Lincoln freed the slaves in the sixties. Doesn’t matter what century, it was still the mid-sixties. AH: And I will never forget that story, Stephen. SC: Absolutely, you broke that one.
–AH: I think [Obama] has been injured by this, but I also think the Republican brand has been injured by this. I think that they have looked too extreme and unbalanced…..I think it’s possible that this has been a lose-lose for both sides.
–AH: Mitch McConnell probably was helped a little bit, because he stayed in the background. SC: Well, he just retreated into his shell.
“That is why before Newt got in the race I was throwing my weight behind Kutcher. He already knows how to please our nation’s seniors. (Lookin’ good!)”
“His twitter followers aren’t real!? Are you telling me that today’s youth don’t fancy a 68-year-old semi-employed former politician who tweets such gems like ‘just had lunch at Mabe’s pizza’ and ‘stopped in for lunch at the Pizza Shack.’ He’s speakin’ their language, man! The kids love to hear about the ’Grich eatin’ the ‘Za!”
“So these unelected elites get to wave their Wall Street wands and tank our economy? Why? They’re not special, they’re not rich They are standard and poor. No wonder they are so moody. (You’re welcome.)”
The Calculator Bit: An Oldie But a Goodie
Stephen, we sense your excitement about the debt ceiling convo.
Shout Out to Super PAC Super Fan susan209
I love this expression on Stephen’s guests at the end of the interview. It seems to say, ‘I had the best time ever.’
The Colbert Report (Episode Guide) August 2, 2011 – Al Hunt
EPISODE NUMBER: 7100 (August 2, 2011)
GUESTS: Al Hunt
SPECIAL GUEST: David Leonhardt
SEGMENTS: Newt Gingrich Has Fake Twitter Followers | America’s Credit Grating | Saving America’s Credit Rating – David Leonhardt | Kid Tooth Economy
SUIT REPORT: Deep Gray Suit with Light Pinstripes | White Shirt | Light Blue White Be-spotted tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Consider poor Senate Majority leader Harry Reid. All this time spent avoiding a near disastrous destruction of America’s sterling credit rating, cramming 0-hour legislation that did nothing to address our actual budget issues except table them for another day, and his pomegranate trees are in Nevada wilting, unattended, plaintively wailing, “Harry! Harry!”
Tonight’s episode continued pursuing the topic of the debt ceiling dysfunction, with an informative interview with David Leonhardt. Also, we all admired the street cred of the ‘Grich with his awesome (and totally non-manufactured) twitter following, and processed the bad news for kids banking on the Tooth Fairy to shore up their sagging portfolios. Finally, Al Hunt came to rhapsodize about a quaint time when politicians feuded with one another over policy, but were able to put it all aside at the end of the day to enjoy a drink together.
Do any of you have any words of consolation for Sen. Reid, or anything else to add to this fine episode? Please feel free to comment.
Quotables
–I like to go with a candidate who looks like he’s been gelded. That’s why I’m saddling up with Newt Gingrich.
–Newt has won the coveted voting block of Bored People at Work.
–…and Ron Paul has ‘what’s a twitter? Is that how I ebay?’
–Oh, come on. Are you telling me that devoted twit follower @041113846806103 is not a living breathing person who just happens to have no photo, no profile, and has never tweeted?
–Newt insists that all of his twitter followers are legit, and I have no reason to doubt the word of a man who has cheated on two wives.
–Today, President Obama signed the debt ceiling compromise, and America narrowly avoided a catastrophe: giving the Democrats anything they want. Because the only way this bill was two-sided, was that the Dems had to take it at both ends.
–How is Obama going to tell Harry Reid that he also gave the Republicans his pomegranate trees?
–America is currently rated AAA, which means we are a very safe investment, plus I believe we also get free roadside assistance, and a discount at participating Hyatts.
–Greece has such a low grade it may be held back and forced to repeat the last 3,000 years.
–This is nothing more than economic terrorism, and I say we deal with these clowns the way we deal with all terrorists. We march the Marines into their offices, fit them for some orange jumpsuits, and whisk them off Gitmo for some enhanced accounting. Maybe a little number-boarding.
–Can’t we let the Chinese kids get the good grades and copy of their financial reports?
–SC: We made the hard choice to make the hard cuts later! David Leonhardt: We didn’t even do that.
–David Leonhardt: Our problem is manageable economically. We have strengths those other countries don’t. SC: If anyone comes for our money, we’ll drop another AAA bomb on them.
–Let’s try not raising taxes for a couple of centuries and see what happens.
–Did [the Tea Partiers] reach their goal of throwing the United States Government into the Boston Harbor?
–If that doesn’t work, what about a Super Duper Congress, which is just 6 people, which would have an Uber-Congress above them, and finally, it would be Harry Reid and McConnell with knives. DL: Unless they cut medicare and social security or raise taxes, none of the Committees will work.
–That means the average kid’s mouth portfolio will max out at $52.00. Just one more reason I have been encouraging my kids to diversify into tusks.
–What the [tooth fairy] pays her suppliers is determined by macro-toothanomic pressures, and by cusp speculators.
–But we know baby teeth, like gold, will never be worth nothing, because baby teeth have so many practical applications. For instance, they are collected and ground to make fairy dust. Also, they are major ingredient in meth.
–And, the tooth market tanking could not come at a worse time for the kid economy. We’ve all seen the Labor Department dismal outlook for summer chores, and early reports indicate this could be a record low year for quarters found behind ears.
–I am obligated to disclose that I invested everything in baby teeth….I thought it was a sure thing. I would sock them away, let the tooth market rise over time, and once I am 65, put them all under my pillow, and wake up the next morning with 20 million dollars.
–Now I am screwed, unless my back up plan works, which is planting these baby teeth in backyard, and grow some babies. I am pretty sure that’s where they come from. And those things are worth a fortune on the black market.
–Do you think now Obama has raised expectations about how fast he caves in a negotiation?
–SC: Can Washington work again? AH: Uh, probably not. SC: Thank you so much for coming. Al Hunt, everybody! Pithy, pithy, that’s what we want.
–And Lincoln freed the slaves in the sixties. Doesn’t matter what century, it was still the mid-sixties. AH: And I will never forget that story, Stephen. SC: Absolutely, you broke that one.
–AH: I think [Obama] has been injured by this, but I also think the Republican brand has been injured by this. I think that they have looked too extreme and unbalanced…..I think it’s possible that this has been a lose-lose for both sides.
–AH: Mitch McConnell probably was helped a little bit, because he stayed in the background. SC: Well, he just retreated into his shell.
“That is why before Newt got in the race I was throwing my weight behind Kutcher. He already knows how to please our nation’s seniors. (Lookin’ good!)”
“His twitter followers aren’t real!? Are you telling me that today’s youth don’t fancy a 68-year-old semi-employed former politician who tweets such gems like ‘just had lunch at Mabe’s pizza’ and ‘stopped in for lunch at the Pizza Shack.’ He’s speakin’ their language, man! The kids love to hear about the ’Grich eatin’ the ‘Za!”
“So these unelected elites get to wave their Wall Street wands and tank our economy? Why? They’re not special, they’re not rich They are standard and poor. No wonder they are so moody. (You’re welcome.)”
The Calculator Bit: An Oldie But a Goodie
Stephen, we sense your excitement about the debt ceiling convo.
Shout Out to Super PAC Super Fan susan209
I love this expression on Stephen’s guests at the end of the interview. It seems to say, ‘I had the best time ever.’