EPISODE NUMBER: 9137 (August 8, 2013)
GUESTS: Colum McCann | Matt Damon
STAFF CAMEO: Jay Katsir (Jay the Intern)
SEGMENTS: Ganjay Supta | Hollywood Heroes | Hollywood Heroes – Matt Damon | The Ronald Wilson Reagan Economic Breathing Zone | Sign Off – “Fifty Shades of Grey”
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | Light blue shirt | Red/navy stripped tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, August 8, 2013
Ganjay Supta
- America is losing the battle against Mary Jane. This year, New Hampshire and Illinois legalized medical marijuana, bringing to 20 the number of states where your pharmacist will soon look like this [The Dude].
- Wait a second. We were misinformed by a cable news doctor? Next you’ll tell me I can’t get directions to my cousins house from ‘Fareed Zakaria GPS’.
- It’s bad enough that Sanjay Gupta, or as I know call him ‘Ganjay Supta’.
Hollywood Heroes
- Truely heroic … And it’s Malkovich, so probably creepy.
- Now with all of these super star saviours, I’m starting to think people are putting themselves in mortal danger just to meet celebrities … and I want in!
- Endangering my life seems like the easiest way to do it, that’s just Occam’s razor. The simplest solution is usually to slice your vein open with a razor and hope you get carried to the hospital by Hugh Jackman. I love you, Wolverine.
Hollywood Heroes – Matt Damon
SC: Help! Help, somebody famous.
Jay the Intern: Don’t worry boss, I’ll get you out.
SC: Jay, what are you doing? You’re not a celebrity!
Jay the Intern: Well not on Earth, but in World of Warcraft I’m a level 80 Horde Mage.
SC: Go away!!
SC: *groans* Help …
MD: Stephen? Stephen Colbert?
SC: Matt Damon, thank God you’re here!
MD: I was just walking by. What happened to you buddy? Are you okay?
SC: You mean other than the vending machine?
MD: No, no, I mean the vending machine.
SC: Than no, I’m not okay.
MD: Hang on. I’m gonna get you out.
SC: This is so great. I’ve always wanted to be saved by a big star.
MD: Someone call 911!
SC: You are big right?
MD: Yeah, however Hollywood’s measuring that this week.
SC: Well it’s usually based on Box Office revenue. So what was your latest movie?
MD: Are ‘Promised Land’.
SC: Ah, the fracking movie … Yeah, I like … I … I heard good things.
MD: *Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ plays. Oh, I’m sorry that’s just rude. Let me turn this off … Wait, what!?! I really gotta go. Jimmy Kimmel got his head stuck in mayonnaise jar. I really gotta go help him out.
SC: Matt? Matt Damon? Somebody call Clooney! Somebody call Brad Pitt! Somebody tell them I’m friends with Matt Damon now.
The Ronald Wilson Reagan Economic Breathing Zone
- Before we go on, I just want to thank Hugh Jackman for saving me during the commercial break. I wish we had camera’s rolling.
- And the Ronald Reagan Airport in Washington D.C., a city named for our first president who I believe should be renamed ‘The Ronald Reagan George Washington.’
- California representative, and definitely not a contract killer, Darrell Issa.
“Darrell Issa wants to rename [America’s Exclusive Economic Zone] the ‘Ronald Wilson Reagan Exclusive Economic Zone.’”
- This makes perfect sense. I’ve always known the ocean was conservative. Like the Republican Party, it’s full of great whites.
“Naming the entire EEC after anyone seems a bit much.”
- Oh, so we can’t name part of the water after our greatest President, but it’s okay to name all of it after 80s R&B star Billy Ocean.
- Why is there this objection to naming a huge arbitrary portion of our natural resources after Reagan? I say there is no place on Earth too large or too arbitrary to honour the Gipper’s legacy. That’s why tonight I am proud to declare that the area between four and seven feet off the ground, ‘The Ronald Wilson Reagan Economic Breathing Zone.’
Interview – Colum McCann
CMc: How many great American novels have been written?
SC: ’50 Shades’
August 8, 2013 — Colum McCann
EPISODE NUMBER: 9137 (August 8, 2013)
GUESTS: Colum McCann | Matt Damon
STAFF CAMEO: Jay Katsir (Jay the Intern)
SEGMENTS: Ganjay Supta | Hollywood Heroes | Hollywood Heroes – Matt Damon | The Ronald Wilson Reagan Economic Breathing Zone | Sign Off – “Fifty Shades of Grey”
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | Light blue shirt | Red/navy stripped tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, August 8, 2013
Ganjay Supta
Hollywood Heroes
Hollywood Heroes – Matt Damon
SC: Help! Help, somebody famous.
Jay the Intern: Don’t worry boss, I’ll get you out.
SC: Jay, what are you doing? You’re not a celebrity!
Jay the Intern: Well not on Earth, but in World of Warcraft I’m a level 80 Horde Mage.
SC: Go away!!
SC: *groans* Help …
MD: Stephen? Stephen Colbert?
SC: Matt Damon, thank God you’re here!
MD: I was just walking by. What happened to you buddy? Are you okay?
SC: You mean other than the vending machine?
MD: No, no, I mean the vending machine.
SC: Than no, I’m not okay.
MD: Hang on. I’m gonna get you out.
SC: This is so great. I’ve always wanted to be saved by a big star.
MD: Someone call 911!
SC: You are big right?
MD: Yeah, however Hollywood’s measuring that this week.
SC: Well it’s usually based on Box Office revenue. So what was your latest movie?
MD: Are ‘Promised Land’.
SC: Ah, the fracking movie … Yeah, I like … I … I heard good things.
MD: *Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ plays. Oh, I’m sorry that’s just rude. Let me turn this off … Wait, what!?! I really gotta go. Jimmy Kimmel got his head stuck in mayonnaise jar. I really gotta go help him out.
SC: Matt? Matt Damon? Somebody call Clooney! Somebody call Brad Pitt! Somebody tell them I’m friends with Matt Damon now.
The Ronald Wilson Reagan Economic Breathing Zone
Interview – Colum McCann
CMc: How many great American novels have been written?
SC: ’50 Shades’