EPISODE NUMBER: 10033 (December 9, 2013)
GUEST: David Keith
STAFF CAMEO: Jay Katsir
SEGMENTS: Remembering Nelson Mandela | The Case Against Charity – Bill O’Reilly & John Stossel | The Case Against Charity – Homeless for the Holidays | Stephen’s Grammy Nomination | Sign Off
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Yellow/Navy Stripped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, December 9, 2013
“Folks, if you have followed the arc of this show for the last 8 1/2 years, then you know that I, Stephen Colbert, am no stranger to award ceremonies.”
Well dear sir, I am one of those people following the “arc of the show,” as you say, and I will be the first to admit your goose is kind of cooked when it comes to the Grammys. I am rooting for you more than anyone, but Carol Burnett? I will tivo the awards, lest I be subject to the nail biting that will surely surround the announcement of this category. May the best man win, as you stated, but it may just be a woman.
This was just the trimming of a great ep that had our Stephen dressed up in fine Victorian garb begging for alms for the poor, even if it all were a giant ploy to demonstrate the doofus-ness of John Stossel. Thankfully, the act continued on the Late Show with David Letterman, much to the delight of the Nation.
Finally, we had a proper interview with David Keith. I don’t know about you all, but I have never been confronted with the notion of climate engineering before. Should we blast the atmosphere with sulfuric acid for the sake of borrowing more time for our fevered planet? Or is it better to forge a global environmental solution and forego that process? Fascinating.
What did you think of the Report this fine evening? Spare a few alms of comments for your poor blogger below.
Stephen dons darling Dickensian garb, in a ruse to trick Jay the Intern in Stephen’s version of homeless person’s Ponzi scheme.
Remembering Nelson Mandela
- I remember my own indelible moment with Nelson Mandela, the man who ended apartheid. It came a few years ago when I traveled to South Africa. Sadly, we did not meet because of my full schedule and because of him not knowing who I was. We respected each other that way.
The Case Against Charity – Bill O’Reilly & John Stossel
- When you think of oppressed black people, you think Republican Party.
“Bill O’Reilly: Some of the people who don’t have enough to eat, it’s their fault they don’t have enough to eat. If you’re an alcoholic or a heroin addict or a drug addict, and you can’t hold a job and you can’t support your children … What’s my financial responsibility to their children?”
- That’s right. Is it my fault that these kids’ parents are drug addicts? Maybe if the kids kept their room clean like mom asked she wouldn’t have to smoke crack.
- Fox Business host and 70′s porn stunt moustache John Stossel is committed to exposing the fraud of panhandling.
“‘Tis the season to be giving. But as John Stossel demonstrates in tonight’s episode of Stossel, not everyone and every organisation is worthy of your charity. Some are actually scammers. I put on a fake beard and tried begging in New York City. Are you ready to freeload?”
- Yes, nothing yes, ‘objective journalism’ like “Are you ready to freeload?”
“I just begged for an hour but I did well. If I did this for an 8 hour day I would have made $90. $23,000 for a year. Tax free.”
- $11 an hour. I mean, make it rain! While, of course, praying that it doesn’t rain …
The Case Against Charity – Homeless for the Holidays
“Grammy, of course, is short for gramophone, which, for you young hip kids, is kind of like a record player, which, for you young hip kids is kind of like a CD player, which, for you young hip kids is kind of like an ipod, which for you young extremely hip kids is kind of like a record player. “
Stephen acknowledges his tough competition for this year’s Grammy in “Best Spoken Word Album.”
Is it ethical to put more pollution in the atmosphere in order to salvage it? Keith makes his case on the Report.
- Stephen: You can spray something into the atmosphere to change-
- David Keith: Spray pollution into the atmosphere to stop it from warming.
- Stephen: -so in the end, pollution saved us all. We owe acid rain an apology, is what you are saying.
- Keith: A totally imperfect technical fix. It would have risks, it wouldn’t get us out of the long run need to stop polluting, but it might actually save people and be useful.
December 9, 2013 — David Keith
EPISODE NUMBER: 10033 (December 9, 2013)
GUEST: David Keith
STAFF CAMEO: Jay Katsir
SEGMENTS: Remembering Nelson Mandela | The Case Against Charity – Bill O’Reilly & John Stossel | The Case Against Charity – Homeless for the Holidays | Stephen’s Grammy Nomination | Sign Off
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Yellow/Navy Stripped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, December 9, 2013
“Folks, if you have followed the arc of this show for the last 8 1/2 years, then you know that I, Stephen Colbert, am no stranger to award ceremonies.”
Well dear sir, I am one of those people following the “arc of the show,” as you say, and I will be the first to admit your goose is kind of cooked when it comes to the Grammys. I am rooting for you more than anyone, but Carol Burnett? I will tivo the awards, lest I be subject to the nail biting that will surely surround the announcement of this category. May the best man win, as you stated, but it may just be a woman.
This was just the trimming of a great ep that had our Stephen dressed up in fine Victorian garb begging for alms for the poor, even if it all were a giant ploy to demonstrate the doofus-ness of John Stossel. Thankfully, the act continued on the Late Show with David Letterman, much to the delight of the Nation.
Finally, we had a proper interview with David Keith. I don’t know about you all, but I have never been confronted with the notion of climate engineering before. Should we blast the atmosphere with sulfuric acid for the sake of borrowing more time for our fevered planet? Or is it better to forge a global environmental solution and forego that process? Fascinating.
What did you think of the Report this fine evening? Spare a few alms of comments for your poor blogger below.
Stephen dons darling Dickensian garb, in a ruse to trick Jay the Intern in Stephen’s version of homeless person’s Ponzi scheme.
Remembering Nelson Mandela
The Case Against Charity – Bill O’Reilly & John Stossel
The Case Against Charity – Homeless for the Holidays
“Grammy, of course, is short for gramophone, which, for you young hip kids, is kind of like a record player, which, for you young hip kids is kind of like a CD player, which, for you young hip kids is kind of like an ipod, which for you young extremely hip kids is kind of like a record player. “
Stephen acknowledges his tough competition for this year’s Grammy in “Best Spoken Word Album.”
Is it ethical to put more pollution in the atmosphere in order to salvage it? Keith makes his case on the Report.