EPISODE NUMBER: 10076 (March 12, 2014)
GUESTS: Maria Shriver | Liz Wahl
SEGMENTS: President Obama on “Between Two Ferns” | Vladimir Putin’s Propaganda Machine & Russia Today – Liz Wahl | NSA’s “Ask Zelda” Advice Column | Maria Shriver | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Grey Suit | White Shirt | Dark Grey Tie with Black and White Stripes
VIDEOS: Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Best cap of the episode:
President Obama on “Between Two Ferns”
I don’t know why Fox News Channel reacted like this about Obama’s appearance on “Between Two Ferns”. He’s been on The Tonight Show, The Late Show and he slow jammed the news with Jimmy Fallon. Oh yeah, that’s right. They reacted the same way every time. In fact, the only time I remember Obama getting a free pass for appearing on a comedy show was when he ordered Odierno to shave the host’s head. What show was that anyway? hmmm…
Stephen: Folks, I’m a fun guy, I like to have fun. Ask my staff, Jimmy am I fun?
Jimmy: Yes sir, you’re very fun.
Apparently “no one has signed up for Obamacare, give or take 4.2 million people”, so Obama is desperate.
- Our President has gotten so desperate, he has appeared on this website, “Funny or Die”. By the way, “funny or die” is also the ultimatum you get from Obama’s death panel.
- This appearance set off a firestorm everywhere from Fox News to later in the day on Fox News.
- That’s what every show is about who wins and loses, and Tantaros oughta know. She wins The Five everyday. The loser? information.
I love how Papa Bear says in his Talking Points segment, “For a President under intense scrutiny, to do a comedy show…” yeah, Bill? He’s under intense scrutiny from you.
Bill says Lincoln wouldn’t have done “Between Two Ferns”. Forgetting that it was impossible for that to happen and putting it into perspective, does he not realize Lincoln had a good sense of humor?
- You can’t fight that logic. Abe Lincoln would never have done a viral web video. The most Lincoln ever did was sit for a Daguerrotype meme.
The interview worked and resulted in over 800,000 visits to healthcare.gov. Stephen promised to never talk about healthcare.gov and even had Jimmy put up the site onscreen so he would know what he was not talking about. He kept talking about it and had to have Jimmy cut his mic.
Vladimir Putin’s Propaganda Machine & Russia Today – Liz Wahl
Liz Wahl, as I discovered after watching this segment, is the Russia Today anchor who quit on the air.
If you watch my show, then you know that The Cold War never ended. If it did, then who nuked Detroit? (audience groans) I know, it’s sad, it’s sad.
Russia’s propaganda machine is crankin’ at full speed.
As a famous man (Lenin) once said, ‘A lie told often enough becomes the truth’. That’s a great quote and I’m the one who said it. Yes, that was me. I said that. Now it is mine.
- Ukrainians don’t have access to their favorite shows like, “So You Think You Can Pierogi” and “The Real Mail-Order Wives of Odessa”.
RT (Russia Today) has an audience of 85 million people in the U.S.
- That’s like taking CNN’s audience and multiplying it by 85 million.
Liz Wahl came on the show to talk about her on-air resignation from RT. She said in her final appearance, “I can no longer be a part of a network funded by the Russian govt., that whitewashes the actions of Putin.”
- That is a brave move by Liz Wahl. She will be missed. Oh, she’s still alive? and she’s sitting right next to me?
Is this an episode of The Americans? Because you’re sexy and I’m sexy and I’d watch this.
Stephen is so flirty.
- Now that you’ve resigned, are you officially a member of Pussy Riot?
NSA’s “Ask Zelda” Advice Column
The NSA has an advice columnist. Okay. This can’t be bad, right? It’s supposed to help the NSA employees deal with workplace stress. Zelda. She knows all, She’s qualified.
Zelda thinks that beach attire is unprofessional and distracting.
- If your co-worker can’t keep his eyes off your bare legs, how’s he supposed to keep his eyes on the person he’s watching undress through their laptop camera?
The top dogs at the NSA have designated snitches that make it difficult to work together.
- This snitch program is just another example of the NSA’s total information awareness and total irony unawareness.
Interview – Maria Shriver
So, I don’t know how I can transcribe this interview, since they were both talking at the same time a lot. It was fun though. She’s a hoot!
Stephen: You’re a Peabody and Emmy award winning journalist, six time New York Times bestselling author, former first lady of California, NBC special anchor …
Maria: (phew) WOW!
Stephen: You’ve got a new documentary … are you impressed with yourself?
Maria: Wow, when you say it like that … (fans self) WOW!
Maria grabs the book and Stephen grabs it back and she starts swatting at him. It’s anarchy!
The documentary she’s promoting is about how poor women who are raising kids are barely getting by in this economy.
Stephen: This is left wing propaganda trying to raise the minimum wage.
Maria: No, no it’s not.
Stephen: Let’s raise the minimum wage and Stephen has to pay 7cents more for the curly fries.
She swats at him a few times in the interview. She’s definitely not afraid of the character, and Stephen’s got him ramped up.
Stephen: Here’s the thing, poor people don’t work hard enough. That’s why I’m rich and they’re poor. I work harder. (spoken while vehemently tapping the book with his finger)
Maria: Oh you’re so WRONG! (vehemently tapping right back) She is working all the time.
Then the conversation veers off the road for a mo.
Stephen: Jesus Christ, are you familiar with the man?
Maria: Yes, I am, Catholic school … I thought about becoming a nun.
Stephen: You thought about becoming a nun? How did that work out?
Maria: (laughs) Don’t tell me you never thought about becoming a priest.
Stephen: Uh, no I thought about it. I was an altar boy for 11 years.
Maria: Yeah, how’d that go?
Stephen: I love the ladies!
We love you too Stephen!
Stephen: Here’s the bone I have to pick with you, it’s called “The Shriver Report”, okay?
Maria: Yes, that’s my name.
Stephen: You started this in 2009, where did you get the idea to have your name and the word report after it? Was it perhaps when you came on my show in 2008?
Maria: (laughing) Yes, that’s right.
Stephen: I will see you in court.
Maria: Bring your ice cream.
March 12, 2014 – Maria Shriver
GUESTS: Maria Shriver | Liz Wahl
SEGMENTS: President Obama on “Between Two Ferns” | Vladimir Putin’s Propaganda Machine & Russia Today – Liz Wahl | NSA’s “Ask Zelda” Advice Column | Maria Shriver | Sign Off – Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Grey Suit | White Shirt | Dark Grey Tie with Black and White Stripes
VIDEOS: Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Best cap of the episode:
President Obama on “Between Two Ferns”
I don’t know why Fox News Channel reacted like this about Obama’s appearance on “Between Two Ferns”. He’s been on The Tonight Show, The Late Show and he slow jammed the news with Jimmy Fallon. Oh yeah, that’s right. They reacted the same way every time. In fact, the only time I remember Obama getting a free pass for appearing on a comedy show was when he ordered Odierno to shave the host’s head. What show was that anyway? hmmm…
Stephen: Folks, I’m a fun guy, I like to have fun. Ask my staff, Jimmy am I fun?
Jimmy: Yes sir, you’re very fun.
Apparently “no one has signed up for Obamacare, give or take 4.2 million people”, so Obama is desperate.
I love how Papa Bear says in his Talking Points segment, “For a President under intense scrutiny, to do a comedy show…” yeah, Bill? He’s under intense scrutiny from you.
Bill says Lincoln wouldn’t have done “Between Two Ferns”. Forgetting that it was impossible for that to happen and putting it into perspective, does he not realize Lincoln had a good sense of humor?
The interview worked and resulted in over 800,000 visits to healthcare.gov. Stephen promised to never talk about healthcare.gov and even had Jimmy put up the site onscreen so he would know what he was not talking about. He kept talking about it and had to have Jimmy cut his mic.
Vladimir Putin’s Propaganda Machine & Russia Today – Liz Wahl
Liz Wahl, as I discovered after watching this segment, is the Russia Today anchor who quit on the air.
If you watch my show, then you know that The Cold War never ended. If it did, then who nuked Detroit? (audience groans) I know, it’s sad, it’s sad.
Russia’s propaganda machine is crankin’ at full speed.
As a famous man (Lenin) once said, ‘A lie told often enough becomes the truth’. That’s a great quote and I’m the one who said it. Yes, that was me. I said that. Now it is mine.
RT (Russia Today) has an audience of 85 million people in the U.S.
Liz Wahl came on the show to talk about her on-air resignation from RT. She said in her final appearance, “I can no longer be a part of a network funded by the Russian govt., that whitewashes the actions of Putin.”
Is this an episode of The Americans? Because you’re sexy and I’m sexy and I’d watch this.
Stephen is so flirty.
NSA’s “Ask Zelda” Advice Column
The NSA has an advice columnist. Okay. This can’t be bad, right? It’s supposed to help the NSA employees deal with workplace stress. Zelda. She knows all, She’s qualified.
Zelda thinks that beach attire is unprofessional and distracting.
The top dogs at the NSA have designated snitches that make it difficult to work together.
Interview – Maria Shriver
So, I don’t know how I can transcribe this interview, since they were both talking at the same time a lot. It was fun though. She’s a hoot!
Stephen: You’re a Peabody and Emmy award winning journalist, six time New York Times bestselling author, former first lady of California, NBC special anchor …
Maria: (phew) WOW!
Stephen: You’ve got a new documentary … are you impressed with yourself?
Maria: Wow, when you say it like that … (fans self) WOW!
Maria grabs the book and Stephen grabs it back and she starts swatting at him. It’s anarchy!
The documentary she’s promoting is about how poor women who are raising kids are barely getting by in this economy.
Stephen: This is left wing propaganda trying to raise the minimum wage.
Maria: No, no it’s not.
Stephen: Let’s raise the minimum wage and Stephen has to pay 7cents more for the curly fries.
She swats at him a few times in the interview. She’s definitely not afraid of the character, and Stephen’s got him ramped up.
Stephen: Here’s the thing, poor people don’t work hard enough. That’s why I’m rich and they’re poor. I work harder. (spoken while vehemently tapping the book with his finger)
Maria: Oh you’re so WRONG! (vehemently tapping right back) She is working all the time.
Then the conversation veers off the road for a mo.
Stephen: Jesus Christ, are you familiar with the man?
Maria: Yes, I am, Catholic school … I thought about becoming a nun.
Stephen: You thought about becoming a nun? How did that work out?
Maria: (laughs) Don’t tell me you never thought about becoming a priest.
Stephen: Uh, no I thought about it. I was an altar boy for 11 years.
Maria: Yeah, how’d that go?
Stephen: I love the ladies!
We love you too Stephen!
Stephen: Here’s the bone I have to pick with you, it’s called “The Shriver Report”, okay?
Maria: Yes, that’s my name.
Stephen: You started this in 2009, where did you get the idea to have your name and the word report after it? Was it perhaps when you came on my show in 2008?
Maria: (laughing) Yes, that’s right.
Stephen: I will see you in court.
Maria: Bring your ice cream.