EPISODE NUMBER: 10081 (March 27, 2014)
GUESTS: Darren Aronofsky
SPECIAL GUESTS: Charlie Rose
SEGMENTS: Intro – 3/27/14 | Ukraine’s Dolphin Army | Morning News for Millennials | Hawaii’s Prostitution Exemption for Cops | Darren Aronofsky | Sign Off – Playdate with Charlie Rose
SUIT REPORT: Dark Stripped Suit | White Shirt | Navy/Yellow Stripped Tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, March 27, 2014
© clarence-odbody | tumblr
Intro – 3/27/14
“Tonight! Morning news reaches out to millineals. Savannah Guthrie is gonna hunt Matt Lauer in ‘The Hunger Games.’ Then, a new controversy rocks law enforcement … and on my last day before retirement! And my guest, Darren Aronofsky, is the director of a new film about Noah’s ark. It’s the tragic sequel to ‘We Bought A Zoo.’ Idaho has raised it’s speed limit to 80 miles per hour. Now you can get out of there even faster.”
Ukraine’s Dolphin Army
“We are learning of Russia’s takeover of the Crimea; included taking Ukraine’s combat dolphins. That’s right – dolphins – like the one pictured here; they were trained by The Ukrainian Navy to attack enemy targets.”
Yes. These dolphins were trained to defend Ukraine. If only their soldiers had been.
- I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Japanese mass dolphin slaughterers: We owe you an apology.” They tried to warn us. They tried to warn us. I’m sure I will never live to regret that statement.
- And make no mistake, folks. These dolphins are ready for war. They have been “…trained to attack enemy combat swimmers using special knives or pistols fixed to their heads …”
- That’s right. Dolphins with pistols on their heads. We will be in serious trouble if they ever develop head fingers to pull those triggers. Vigilance.
Morning News for Millennials
- Competition among these shows is fierce. So, to attract young tech-savy viewers, they’re creating special areas on their sets featuring interactive social media.
Lara Spencer: “Welcome to Social Square. GMA’s Social Square. This is your room, as much as it is ours. I love this space. It is hip, it is young, it is fun. And it is all about you.”
That talking glow stick is right.
- Kids, you know something is young, hip and fun if a middle-aged woman tells you at 8am.
Lara Spencer: “We also have our Social Slot Machine. You pull it down and this enables you to ask us questions and tell us how you feel from Google+, from Twitter, from Facebook … “
- A slot machine. Who knows! If you keep pulling the lever eventually news might come out.
Lara Spencer: In this space, which I imagine we will be using quite a bit during shows, there’s foosball …”
Foosball?! That’s awesome! Why didn’t Walter Croonkite tell us about the Kennedy assassination from behind an air hockey table?
- Folks, I was so inspired by their example that I have created my own branded info-enter-newsman-hangspace that targets an even younger viewer.
Tonight, introducing The Colbert Report’s new Playdate Plaza!
- Playdate Plaza is an innovated fun-scape that’s all about relating to the crucial four and under demographic.
- It’s where we’ll be covering all the major news stories toddlers want to know about.
For example: Where did the ball go?! Is it gone forever?
- I’ll be taking your pretend calls on this Fisher-Price phone.
- Bring – bring! There’s one now! Oh, hello Sadie. You’re having a tea party with Teddy and Mr. Ruffles and Secretary of State, John Kerry? Ok, I’ll come by on my pirate ship.
I’m not going.
- Who knows who will show up in our celebrity ball pit!
Broadcasting legend and anchor of ‘CBS This Morning,’ Charlie Rose!
- Now that I’ve got Playdate Plaza, I’m ready to go toe-to-toe with all the other news-free fun-zones: Social Square, The Orange Room and the empty space behind Steve Doocy’s eyes.
Hawaii’s Prostitution Exemption for Cops
- As the Honolulu Police say, “The ability to have sex with prostitutes is … an important part of fighting crime.”
- Yes! Because as soon as the crime is committed, the police are already on the scene. I don’t know why they don’t let cops murder people, too.
Randy Ferrar: Aloha, my man.
Stephen: Now, Randy, you’re with the Honolulu PD?
Randy: I’d rather not say.
Stephen: You don’t want to blow your cover?
Randy: Yes! Also, I’m not on the force. But I am am member of the neighborhood watch.
Stephen: Is that your job?
Randy: Well, I’m not paid money per se. For cash, I drive a food truck down town. Sometimes the working girls like to have a sandwich, if ya know what I mean!
Stephen: Explain to us why the Honolulu PD needs this kind of flexibility.
Randy: Flexibility is what it’s all about. As we say down at the 5-0, you gotta touch your toes before you touch the hoes.
Stephen: I’m sure that’s good advice, but I mean the law. Has a prostitute ever cop-checked you?
Randy: 10-4 on that, big kahuna. That’s why no money changes hands before Randy gets the handy.
Interview – Darren Aronofsky
Darren: It says in Genesis 6 that he was grieved to his heart …uh, God … To me that was like, wow … that’s a powerful thing … to want to destroy creation. Because it was the forth story in the Bible, right? You remember? Creation, Original Sin, the first murder; Kane kills Abel. Then it jumps forward ten generations and you’re at Noah and suddenly He just wants to destroy all of creation. To us, that was like, a big emotional decision. Suddenly, You want to destroy the most beautiful thing that You created. And so we tried to dramatize that. We tried to bring that to life through Russell Crowe’s character.
Stephen: Now, you changed some stuff. You’ve taken some liberties with the Bible.
Darren: Well, what is a liberty? When you cast Russell Crowe, that’s a liberty.
March 27, 2014 – Darren Aronofsky
EPISODE NUMBER: 10081 (March 27, 2014)
GUESTS: Darren Aronofsky
SPECIAL GUESTS: Charlie Rose
SEGMENTS: Intro – 3/27/14 | Ukraine’s Dolphin Army | Morning News for Millennials | Hawaii’s Prostitution Exemption for Cops | Darren Aronofsky | Sign Off – Playdate with Charlie Rose
SUIT REPORT: Dark Stripped Suit | White Shirt | Navy/Yellow Stripped Tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, March 27, 2014
© clarence-odbody | tumblr
Intro – 3/27/14
Ukraine’s Dolphin Army
Yes. These dolphins were trained to defend Ukraine. If only their soldiers had been.
Morning News for Millennials
That talking glow stick is right.
Foosball?! That’s awesome! Why didn’t Walter Croonkite tell us about the Kennedy assassination from behind an air hockey table?
Tonight, introducing The Colbert Report’s new Playdate Plaza!
For example: Where did the ball go?! Is it gone forever?
I’m not going.
Broadcasting legend and anchor of ‘CBS This Morning,’ Charlie Rose!
Hawaii’s Prostitution Exemption for Cops
Randy Ferrar: Aloha, my man.
Stephen: Now, Randy, you’re with the Honolulu PD?
Randy: I’d rather not say.
Stephen: You don’t want to blow your cover?
Randy: Yes! Also, I’m not on the force. But I am am member of the neighborhood watch.
Stephen: Is that your job?
Randy: Well, I’m not paid money per se. For cash, I drive a food truck down town. Sometimes the working girls like to have a sandwich, if ya know what I mean!
Stephen: Explain to us why the Honolulu PD needs this kind of flexibility.
Randy: Flexibility is what it’s all about. As we say down at the 5-0, you gotta touch your toes before you touch the hoes.
Stephen: I’m sure that’s good advice, but I mean the law. Has a prostitute ever cop-checked you?
Randy: 10-4 on that, big kahuna. That’s why no money changes hands before Randy gets the handy.
Interview – Darren Aronofsky
Darren: It says in Genesis 6 that he was grieved to his heart …uh, God … To me that was like, wow … that’s a powerful thing … to want to destroy creation. Because it was the forth story in the Bible, right? You remember? Creation, Original Sin, the first murder; Kane kills Abel. Then it jumps forward ten generations and you’re at Noah and suddenly He just wants to destroy all of creation. To us, that was like, a big emotional decision. Suddenly, You want to destroy the most beautiful thing that You created. And so we tried to dramatize that. We tried to bring that to life through Russell Crowe’s character.
Stephen: Now, you changed some stuff. You’ve taken some liberties with the Bible.
Darren: Well, what is a liberty? When you cast Russell Crowe, that’s a liberty.