EPISODE NUMBER: 10102 (May 8, 2014)
GUESTS: Ellen Page
SEGMENTS: Vampire for Congress in Florida | Better Know a Challenger – Florida’s 3rd – Jake Rush | Stu Varney Among the Common People | Ellen Page | Sign Off – Spinning Top
SUIT REPORT: Dark Grey Suit | Striped Dress shirt | Red Tie with White Dots
VIDEOS: Thursday, May 8, 2014
Well, tonight’s episode got off to a very intriguing start. Stephen did a “Better Know a Challenger” segment, with a young fellow named Chazz Darling…I mean Jake Rush, who plays a vampire in, well, in life, occasionally when he does role play. Also, Stu Varney’s day out was quite the memorable experience. It would seem he lives inside his studio. Stephen’s guest, Ellen Page is openly Canadian and believes that if Juno had been a little different, it would’ve been much shorter.
Stephen’s Interview with The Vampire.
Vampire for Congress in Florida
There is a Tea party candidate running in the 3rd District of Florida named Jake Rush, but he is also known as Chazz Darling or Archbishop Kettering, when he does Live Action Role Playing.
Personally, despite the fact that he’s a Tea party guy and he defends Stand Your Ground, I don’t have a problem with any candidate for Congress that is into role playing. I mean, why not? Why should that be held against them? Of course, it will be held against him. His opponent has smeared him for it, but he defends it.
- There’s one primary that they can’t lose, because they’re the only ones in it. It pits Tea party incumbent and off brand chocolate drink, Ted Yoho, against fellow Republican Jake Rush…[He] is everything you want in a Congressman, and maybe more than you do.
TV anchor: Selling himself as a conservative straight shooter, but guess what? He happens to be a vampire.
- With a name like Jake Rush, you thought at the most softcore porn.
- He goes by the name Chazz Darling, seen here as a malevolent lord of the undead who just got his eyes dilated by an incompetent opthamologist.
- Jake Rush is deeply involved in Live Action Role Playing, or LARP. LARP is also the sound his campaign manager made when he saw this picture.
He also was a deputy sheriff and his role playing came in handy when trying to do undercover work.
Better Know a Challenger – Florida’s 3rd – Jake Rush
Stephen came prepared, dressed as a vampire, but Mr. Rush, for some reason, wasn’t interested in talking about his role playing.
Stephen: Why aren’t you in character? I thought we were going to role play.
Jake: No, Stephen.
Stephen: No? Well, I feel like an idiot.
Stephen changes and comes back as “Stephen”.
Stephen: Ted Yoho has had a lot to say about you. Let’s go through the list…he said…..disturbing………..and that’s actually all he has said so far.
It is interesting how a Tea party guy is running up against an incumbent Tea party guy and now they’re smearing each other. Yoho has been in for two years and as Stephen pondered, is that enough to make him a Washington insider? So much for the Tea party being so different from the establishment.
His ideas on foreign policy are a little muddled. He wants us to display our military might to countries that aren’t a threat to us…? I think.
Stephen: What countries would you have military action against, that is not a direct threat to the United States?
Jake: Well, for instance, the battle in Syria.
Stephen: Forgot about Syria.
Jake: There’s an adage in military and law enforcement that you never want to take the same ground twice because it’s costly.
Stephen: Like going into a war in Iraq twice.
Jake: Right.
Stephen: Which one of those should we not have done?
Jake: Well, Stephen the problem with….I don’t know, wars are complicated.
Stephen talks about the role playing some more.
Stephen: You’ve defended your history of role playing, by saying that you have long been a “thesbian”. How has that been for you as a Republican to be openly “thesbian”?
Jake: The arts are a part of our culture.
Stephen: Do you believe “thesbians” should be allowed to get married?
Jake: Yes.
Stephen: What about them flaunting their lifestyles, you know, it’s fine to do in the privacy of their own bedroom, or as they call it, “scissoring”, I don’t need to know what “thesbians” do for kicks.
Jake: Thespian is an actor, Stephen.
In the interview, Stephen brings out Sweetness. Mr. Rush is pro-gun, but he was apparently taken aback by Stephen’s love for Sweetness. Yeah, that’s kinda the point. He tells Stephen the first rule of gun safety is never point the gun at yourself. What if it’s a prop gun?
Stu Varney Among the Common People
Apparently, Stu Varney and Fox Business aren’t doing all that wonderful in the ratings. Stu was waxing about a time recently when he was out on the street, trying to figure out the bus system. As a non-native New Yorker, I can kinda sympathize with that a little. The busses and subways in NYC can be a little daunting if you’re from out of town.
Although, is Stu from out of town?
Stu tells the story of walking the streets of NYC, trying to figure out the busses when a man walks up to him. Stu says, “He’s not dressed like a banker”. Why would you say that? I don’t quite get that, but okay. He goes on to say the guy’s a viewer. Again…okay, sure.
Stu’s day out. I don’t know, he might want to try to get out more. Another guy sees him later on and says, “Hey, you look great in jeans”.
- You want better ratings Fox Business? America demands more Stu Varney ba-donk-a-donk.
My dream? to work, even just one day, in Stephen’s graphics dept.
Stephen can relate:
- (in British accent) Just this past fortnight I was perambulating along the Broadway, when I came to the Square of Time and was approached by a young man, he was not dressed as a banker, oh no, he was covered in red fur and he said he wanted his picture with me. He then asked me for $5, clearly he could see I was a successful man in broadcasting.
- Then I made my way to the district famed for it’s packing of meats, where I was immediately set upon by several eager young ladies, who were such fans, they asked if I needed a date. One even offered me a job in some sort of hand factory, I believe.
Interview – Ellen Page
Let the mutual fawning begin:
Stephen: Thanks for coming on, I’m a big fan.
Ellen: I’m a big fan, I’m a huge fan.
Stephen: I’m an even bigger fan now.
She is on to promote the new X-Men movie, but as usual Stephen has a beef. I love how Ellen reacts to this:
Stephen: I’ve got one problem with you.
Ellen: Okay (smiling)
She says it in a kind of “uh-oh” way but yet she knows. Yup, that checks out, she is a fan. She knows the character. Stephen’s problem, one would think, is that she’s gay, but no. It’s that she’s openly Canadian. She explained that since she became aware as a young toddler, she knew she was Canadian.
Stephen: People say “let’s go to Dunkin’ Donuts”, you’d say, “I’d rather go to Tim Horton’s”.
Ellen: I’d rather get a double double and some Timbits. Yes.
Are Timbits like Munchkins? Donut holes?
Throwback to a previous segment:
Stephen: You recently came out as a “thesbian”.
Ellen came out as a gay person and it broke the Human Rights Campaign website. Cool!
Stephen wished that Ellen would’ve come out on his show because the ratings would’ve been through the roof. So they set up a scene for her to come out on the show. Stephen gives her the lines and they do the scene:
Stephen: So Ellen, thanks for coming on the show, are you seeing anybody right now?
Ellen: (reading from cards) No, actually I’ve been dating a really nice guy named Brad.
Stephen: Oh, really? (takes a drink from his mug)
Ellen: No, I’m gay.
Image: towleroad.com
Stephen then goes on to state that Juno is a great film because it espouses conservative values, but Ellen explains that it’s actually about pro-choice values because she considers abortion in the film, but she decides to have the baby anyway. If Juno had gotten an abortion the film would’ve been very short.
Stephen concludes the interview, assuring he’s not dreaming by spinning a top that apparently doesn’t fall before the camera cuts out to commercial. So who knows, maybe he was dreaming.
May 8, 2014 – Ellen Page
GUESTS: Ellen Page
SEGMENTS: Vampire for Congress in Florida | Better Know a Challenger – Florida’s 3rd – Jake Rush | Stu Varney Among the Common People | Ellen Page | Sign Off – Spinning Top
SUIT REPORT: Dark Grey Suit | Striped Dress shirt | Red Tie with White Dots
VIDEOS: Thursday, May 8, 2014
Well, tonight’s episode got off to a very intriguing start. Stephen did a “Better Know a Challenger” segment, with a young fellow named Chazz Darling…I mean Jake Rush, who plays a vampire in, well, in life, occasionally when he does role play. Also, Stu Varney’s day out was quite the memorable experience. It would seem he lives inside his studio. Stephen’s guest, Ellen Page is openly Canadian and believes that if Juno had been a little different, it would’ve been much shorter.
Stephen’s Interview with The Vampire.
Vampire for Congress in Florida
There is a Tea party candidate running in the 3rd District of Florida named Jake Rush, but he is also known as Chazz Darling or Archbishop Kettering, when he does Live Action Role Playing.
Personally, despite the fact that he’s a Tea party guy and he defends Stand Your Ground, I don’t have a problem with any candidate for Congress that is into role playing. I mean, why not? Why should that be held against them? Of course, it will be held against him. His opponent has smeared him for it, but he defends it.
TV anchor: Selling himself as a conservative straight shooter, but guess what? He happens to be a vampire.
He also was a deputy sheriff and his role playing came in handy when trying to do undercover work.
Better Know a Challenger – Florida’s 3rd – Jake Rush
Stephen came prepared, dressed as a vampire, but Mr. Rush, for some reason, wasn’t interested in talking about his role playing.
Stephen: Why aren’t you in character? I thought we were going to role play.
Jake: No, Stephen.
Stephen: No? Well, I feel like an idiot.
Stephen changes and comes back as “Stephen”.
Stephen: Ted Yoho has had a lot to say about you. Let’s go through the list…he said…..disturbing………..and that’s actually all he has said so far.
It is interesting how a Tea party guy is running up against an incumbent Tea party guy and now they’re smearing each other. Yoho has been in for two years and as Stephen pondered, is that enough to make him a Washington insider? So much for the Tea party being so different from the establishment.
His ideas on foreign policy are a little muddled. He wants us to display our military might to countries that aren’t a threat to us…? I think.
Stephen: What countries would you have military action against, that is not a direct threat to the United States?
Jake: Well, for instance, the battle in Syria.
Stephen: Forgot about Syria.
Jake: There’s an adage in military and law enforcement that you never want to take the same ground twice because it’s costly.
Stephen: Like going into a war in Iraq twice.
Jake: Right.
Stephen: Which one of those should we not have done?
Jake: Well, Stephen the problem with….I don’t know, wars are complicated.
Stephen talks about the role playing some more.
Stephen: You’ve defended your history of role playing, by saying that you have long been a “thesbian”. How has that been for you as a Republican to be openly “thesbian”?
Jake: The arts are a part of our culture.
Stephen: Do you believe “thesbians” should be allowed to get married?
Jake: Yes.
Stephen: What about them flaunting their lifestyles, you know, it’s fine to do in the privacy of their own bedroom, or as they call it, “scissoring”, I don’t need to know what “thesbians” do for kicks.
Jake: Thespian is an actor, Stephen.
In the interview, Stephen brings out Sweetness. Mr. Rush is pro-gun, but he was apparently taken aback by Stephen’s love for Sweetness. Yeah, that’s kinda the point. He tells Stephen the first rule of gun safety is never point the gun at yourself. What if it’s a prop gun?
Stu Varney Among the Common People
Apparently, Stu Varney and Fox Business aren’t doing all that wonderful in the ratings. Stu was waxing about a time recently when he was out on the street, trying to figure out the bus system. As a non-native New Yorker, I can kinda sympathize with that a little. The busses and subways in NYC can be a little daunting if you’re from out of town.
Although, is Stu from out of town?
Stu tells the story of walking the streets of NYC, trying to figure out the busses when a man walks up to him. Stu says, “He’s not dressed like a banker”. Why would you say that? I don’t quite get that, but okay. He goes on to say the guy’s a viewer. Again…okay, sure.
Stu’s day out. I don’t know, he might want to try to get out more. Another guy sees him later on and says, “Hey, you look great in jeans”.
My dream? to work, even just one day, in Stephen’s graphics dept.
Stephen can relate:
Interview – Ellen Page
Let the mutual fawning begin:
Stephen: Thanks for coming on, I’m a big fan.
Ellen: I’m a big fan, I’m a huge fan.
Stephen: I’m an even bigger fan now.
She is on to promote the new X-Men movie, but as usual Stephen has a beef. I love how Ellen reacts to this:
Stephen: I’ve got one problem with you.
Ellen: Okay (smiling)
She says it in a kind of “uh-oh” way but yet she knows. Yup, that checks out, she is a fan. She knows the character. Stephen’s problem, one would think, is that she’s gay, but no. It’s that she’s openly Canadian. She explained that since she became aware as a young toddler, she knew she was Canadian.
Stephen: People say “let’s go to Dunkin’ Donuts”, you’d say, “I’d rather go to Tim Horton’s”.
Ellen: I’d rather get a double double and some Timbits. Yes.
Are Timbits like Munchkins? Donut holes?
Throwback to a previous segment:
Stephen: You recently came out as a “thesbian”.
Ellen came out as a gay person and it broke the Human Rights Campaign website. Cool!
Stephen wished that Ellen would’ve come out on his show because the ratings would’ve been through the roof. So they set up a scene for her to come out on the show. Stephen gives her the lines and they do the scene:
Stephen: So Ellen, thanks for coming on the show, are you seeing anybody right now?
Ellen: (reading from cards) No, actually I’ve been dating a really nice guy named Brad.
Stephen: Oh, really? (takes a drink from his mug)
Ellen: No, I’m gay.
Image: towleroad.com
Stephen then goes on to state that Juno is a great film because it espouses conservative values, but Ellen explains that it’s actually about pro-choice values because she considers abortion in the film, but she decides to have the baby anyway. If Juno had gotten an abortion the film would’ve been very short.
Stephen concludes the interview, assuring he’s not dreaming by spinning a top that apparently doesn’t fall before the camera cuts out to commercial. So who knows, maybe he was dreaming.